Supersmileyme
Gold Member
Oh, he's gorgeous! And well done on the weight, that's soooo fast. It's day 4 vlcd for me, I'm feeling a bit more energetic today.
The LAST time!
- Thread starter Madoody
- Start date
Madoody
Full Member
back to 12.5 this morning- great, now I can make progress hopefully!
Woken up with starts of a cold,my ears and sinuses all blocked and head pounding.Staying home this weekend to try and master the crate training.Last night was a definite improvement,he cried a while to start and briefly again in the night which was a big improvement - but he was in the sitting room and my big dog in the utility and it was setting him off too. Gun is coping well,he isn't too impressed and certainly doesn't want to play at the moment but then he has to set limits-he growls 'get off me!' while wagging his tail bless him.
Off to raid medicines I think, this head is banging :/
Woken up with starts of a cold,my ears and sinuses all blocked and head pounding.Staying home this weekend to try and master the crate training.Last night was a definite improvement,he cried a while to start and briefly again in the night which was a big improvement - but he was in the sitting room and my big dog in the utility and it was setting him off too. Gun is coping well,he isn't too impressed and certainly doesn't want to play at the moment but then he has to set limits-he growls 'get off me!' while wagging his tail bless him.
Off to raid medicines I think, this head is banging :/
Madoody
Full Member
I started with a glass of wine last Friday so it pretty much has taken as long to get off as to put on, much better than I anticipated. God I wish I was back there-miserable here today. Feel poop, very very tired, head hurts and just glum because I am on my own with 2 monsters (they aren't really, just too tired) , an incontinent puppy and slightly insecure Labrador in a house I don't want to live in anymore. boo!
Kids are writing letters to Father Christmas now......uhoh.
Mxx
ps D, jeans fit perfick! Thanks again!
Kids are writing letters to Father Christmas now......uhoh.
Mxx
ps D, jeans fit perfick! Thanks again!
Sage-femme
Silver Member
Well done for being 12.5!!!!!
Hope you feel better soon xx
Hope you feel better soon xx
Madoody
Full Member
hahaha
ergh,just wolfed down a bar and it is stuck in my throat. I don't really savour them it has to be said, they taste like chaff.
Started my xmas shopping today. Normally I don't start too early as I don't like..well I don't like when it all gets a bit 'tired' before Christmas has even begun.But this yr I have a heavy feeling of lack of time,much to do and the idea of leaving it until December is scary. I want to not have a frantic week before, that would be lovely.
My three bronze turkeys meet their maker this weds (maybe that is why I feel the need to get Christmassy!). Feel sad about it as they are lovely birds, very placid and graceful, you wouldn't think they would be so captivating to watchbut looking fwd to getting the weights.I have a breeding trio of bourbon turkeys (an old heritage breed) left which I also hatched and I have big plans next year (This yr was an experiment really just for family).
crikey, time has flown today. Have walls to paint!
ergh,just wolfed down a bar and it is stuck in my throat. I don't really savour them it has to be said, they taste like chaff.
Started my xmas shopping today. Normally I don't start too early as I don't like..well I don't like when it all gets a bit 'tired' before Christmas has even begun.But this yr I have a heavy feeling of lack of time,much to do and the idea of leaving it until December is scary. I want to not have a frantic week before, that would be lovely.
My three bronze turkeys meet their maker this weds (maybe that is why I feel the need to get Christmassy!). Feel sad about it as they are lovely birds, very placid and graceful, you wouldn't think they would be so captivating to watchbut looking fwd to getting the weights.I have a breeding trio of bourbon turkeys (an old heritage breed) left which I also hatched and I have big plans next year (This yr was an experiment really just for family).
crikey, time has flown today. Have walls to paint!
Madoody
Full Member
Oh and decided I will start back on 810 introducing one meal in 4lbs time - basically once I see the magic 11 on the scales.I feel good having made that decision - I could do it now as I know I still lose well, but the 11's is a mental barrier and would like to break it quickly.I like having a plan.
Sage-femme
Silver Member
Aww hun sorry 
I hope you are feeling better soon xxx
I hope you are feeling better soon xxx
Madoody
Full Member
12.1 ... been at farm all weekend-had a fillet steak on Sat night instead of 3rd shake - I wasn't going to start the protein meal until I saw 11's but I was so cold and hungry and tired I thought sod it! Anyway,so very pleased to have lost another pound- I really am nr the end of my tolerance to this though, so glad it is only 8lbs till maintenance-need to come back to the land of the living.
Madoody
Full Member
Can't see cinema happening in the next couple of weeks, there is too much on for me to get babysitting by the looks of it :/
Don't think I have lost anymore weight but I haven't been able to weigh the last 2 mornings. I did today a bit later after a big coffee but I think allowing for that I must have sts. And tonight I ate a packet of hot smoked salmon I had picked up reduced today. Had to be used today and I ended up doing something else for kids tea forgetting I had it..so I had a bit...then the whole box. No big deal, apart from I hadn't planned on eating today and when I do something impulsive with food it makes me feel out of control. Hmmm.
Had a slim and save delivery today - 90% of it was hazelnut shakes. I appear to be a creature of habit!
Oh and tried on my goal jeans - the pair of 12 white stuff jeans I got a few weeks back. They appear to fit.Weird. I don't feel I can wear them until half a stone has gone though. They are GOAL jeans. They will fit better with a few more pounds gone anyway, low rise always do.
Don't think I have lost anymore weight but I haven't been able to weigh the last 2 mornings. I did today a bit later after a big coffee but I think allowing for that I must have sts. And tonight I ate a packet of hot smoked salmon I had picked up reduced today. Had to be used today and I ended up doing something else for kids tea forgetting I had it..so I had a bit...then the whole box. No big deal, apart from I hadn't planned on eating today and when I do something impulsive with food it makes me feel out of control. Hmmm.
Had a slim and save delivery today - 90% of it was hazelnut shakes. I appear to be a creature of habit!
Oh and tried on my goal jeans - the pair of 12 white stuff jeans I got a few weeks back. They appear to fit.Weird. I don't feel I can wear them until half a stone has gone though. They are GOAL jeans. They will fit better with a few more pounds gone anyway, low rise always do.
Madoody
Full Member
scale flickered today, I saw 11.13.8 for a second before it settled back on 12. I like that But this is dragging now, wanted to be at goal by Dec so I can refeed for xmas properly but I won't now. It was a bit ambitious maybe- ahh well, just means I start earlier, it will come off anyway, just slower.
But this is dragging now, wanted to be at goal by Dec so I can refeed for xmas properly but I won't now. It was a bit ambitious maybe- ahh well, just means I start earlier, it will come off anyway, just slower.
Madoody
Full Member
Who am I doing this for?
Honestly starting to wonder. My 'ambition' or goal so easily fluctuates- it doesn't matter that it should only be about how I feel - how I feel is affected by those around me, how I perceive judgement,what is deemed 'acceptable' by society, whether I think I am being weak willed, if I am making excuses.It all comes down to this attitude towards myself in the end-a bad one. A very harsh one. I know being thinner than I am now won't particularly make me feel any better at all. But I feel I should want to be.Graphs say I should be. I think I weigh more than I look,no I know that is the case (Dr kindly told me I must have lead bones once) but still, the facts are at 5.7 the general perception is 11.7 is still a bit lardy. It is only just *healthy* .I don't want judgement. I don't want people to look at me and think I still look chunky (deleted the word fat there because I know I am no longer that) whether or not I know they think that.I just want to not be noticed.
There are people expecting me to fail. That affects me too. Some Mums at school, even my family.
When I started, I think I said I just wanted to be healthy weight, be able to use that as a launch pad to get in the best physical state of my life- be strong, more athletic. To be able to move in with OH and start an outdoor physically demanding life-maybe in some vain hope that would cure everything that is wrong with me and food. None of that says beat yourself into submission, rag this diet until you are too bony just so you don't feel like a pathetic cop out. This has nowt to do with weight or dieting, just about that narrative of my life that always says 'you could have done better'. Feeling very turmoilous atm. Possibly PMT I guess.Still, been cathartic to write it, to vent it. If I talk to OH he tells me I'm gorgeous now and to stop.But there is no denying he prefers me now than 2.7 stone ago, so quite frankly I can't listen to him.
Honestly starting to wonder. My 'ambition' or goal so easily fluctuates- it doesn't matter that it should only be about how I feel - how I feel is affected by those around me, how I perceive judgement,what is deemed 'acceptable' by society, whether I think I am being weak willed, if I am making excuses.It all comes down to this attitude towards myself in the end-a bad one. A very harsh one. I know being thinner than I am now won't particularly make me feel any better at all. But I feel I should want to be.Graphs say I should be. I think I weigh more than I look,no I know that is the case (Dr kindly told me I must have lead bones once) but still, the facts are at 5.7 the general perception is 11.7 is still a bit lardy. It is only just *healthy* .I don't want judgement. I don't want people to look at me and think I still look chunky (deleted the word fat there because I know I am no longer that) whether or not I know they think that.I just want to not be noticed.
There are people expecting me to fail. That affects me too. Some Mums at school, even my family.
When I started, I think I said I just wanted to be healthy weight, be able to use that as a launch pad to get in the best physical state of my life- be strong, more athletic. To be able to move in with OH and start an outdoor physically demanding life-maybe in some vain hope that would cure everything that is wrong with me and food. None of that says beat yourself into submission, rag this diet until you are too bony just so you don't feel like a pathetic cop out. This has nowt to do with weight or dieting, just about that narrative of my life that always says 'you could have done better'. Feeling very turmoilous atm. Possibly PMT I guess.Still, been cathartic to write it, to vent it. If I talk to OH he tells me I'm gorgeous now and to stop.But there is no denying he prefers me now than 2.7 stone ago, so quite frankly I can't listen to him.
Madoody
Full Member
I think that is what is up-my compass is totally screwed by the way I respond to those around me,like magnetic waves. I think I will just have to re-evaluate after xmas and give myself a break. I aim to be at goal before then obviously, knowing I will have to go back on it a bit whatever my decision about the end point, in January.Maybe once I get back on it I will feel I can go lower,maybe I will decide then is the time to start more burn rather than less fuel - the idea of not being freezing cold all the time is an attractive one. Either way,the drop from 11.7 to 11 isn't much, I can't see lower than that. I don't want to be a 10, on my frame I think that is going a bit too far I guess I have the benefit of that not being the unknown for me)and I will never maintain it without being totally obsessed. A small 12 though would be great
You know this emotional overwhelming thing that occurred today is all due to eating last night. I am pleased with how I am handling food, really am. I am stepping up every few days and eating a meal and all cravings etc are being managed really well. But after I eat I get overwhelmed like this, with negativity. usually the next morning.Now my rational mind handles it and tells my 'self' that it is ok, that it won't matter. And it doesn't, it is all positive stuff reintroducing food after what, 13 weeks straight (minus three days away). But inside me there is an evil little sprite yelling at the top of its voice 'RUINED IT!'- because I am doing it in a planned controlled way (ish!) then I have been able to see what a powerful force this evil little bast*** has been in my relationship with food and lack of control in the past. He would perpetuate binge behaviour, he made me feel like I had no control because if you have ruined it all in a couple of hours then what was the point in stopping! I knew it was a common problem the 'may as well start tomorrow 'mentality to dieting but it never seemed so obvious to me that it beat me and my self esteem down so badly.
Thanks for letting me ramble D,it has really really helped me today
xxxx
You know this emotional overwhelming thing that occurred today is all due to eating last night. I am pleased with how I am handling food, really am. I am stepping up every few days and eating a meal and all cravings etc are being managed really well. But after I eat I get overwhelmed like this, with negativity. usually the next morning.Now my rational mind handles it and tells my 'self' that it is ok, that it won't matter. And it doesn't, it is all positive stuff reintroducing food after what, 13 weeks straight (minus three days away). But inside me there is an evil little sprite yelling at the top of its voice 'RUINED IT!'- because I am doing it in a planned controlled way (ish!) then I have been able to see what a powerful force this evil little bast*** has been in my relationship with food and lack of control in the past. He would perpetuate binge behaviour, he made me feel like I had no control because if you have ruined it all in a couple of hours then what was the point in stopping! I knew it was a common problem the 'may as well start tomorrow 'mentality to dieting but it never seemed so obvious to me that it beat me and my self esteem down so badly.
Thanks for letting me ramble D,it has really really helped me today
xxxx
Madoody
Full Member
Cold cold cold.Not particularly cheery as got ill kids that may well blow the whole weekends plans.I am sick of keto-cold, I have poor hand and feet circulation normally so atm I have numb achy fingers and toes all the damn time, it is getting waring!
I just realised my sig is doing me a dis-service,I haven't lost only 5lbs in November, I was 12.5 before I went away on the 3rd and am 11.12 now. Poor maths! Still a crap loss for having mostly not been eating though,I dunno what I was thinking saying I could be at goal. Meh!
I just realised my sig is doing me a dis-service,I haven't lost only 5lbs in November, I was 12.5 before I went away on the 3rd and am 11.12 now. Poor maths! Still a crap loss for having mostly not been eating though,I dunno what I was thinking saying I could be at goal. Meh!
jacqueline
Silver Member
Hi m just caught up on your diary you have done brilliantly in such a short time! i am sure you will achieve your goal by christmas and you really need to stop being so hard on yourself ! just look at what you have achieved so far 37lb that is so great!!
keep up the great work you can do it!
keep up the great work you can do it!
Madoody
Full Member
I know I can easily be there for xmas, what I meant was I set myself a goal of being there for the end of Nov, which was yesterday and I am 4lbs off-it was a stupid target. Nov was 7 lbs lost so not great, although one week was undoing the trip away so it is only really 3 weeks.
Anyway, another gone today which means only 4lbs to goal and that will be goal for a while, it is def 'good enough'. I need to start working up soon (properly as opposed to my eating odd meals) and get my metabolism back up from the vlcd go-slow for xmas-be very short sighted to keep flogging it too close (but I prob will because it has become a numbers game! )
hello Jacqueline, and thanks for reading. I am very hard on myself I know, but that is also where my motivation comes from. Good luck on your journey, you are brave starting at this time of year!
Anyway, another gone today which means only 4lbs to goal and that will be goal for a while, it is def 'good enough'. I need to start working up soon (properly as opposed to my eating odd meals) and get my metabolism back up from the vlcd go-slow for xmas-be very short sighted to keep flogging it too close (but I prob will because it has become a numbers game! )
hello Jacqueline, and thanks for reading. I am very hard on myself I know, but that is also where my motivation comes from. Good luck on your journey, you are brave starting at this time of year!
