The photo that changed everything ...

[reluctant_whale]

I have been wondering whether to post this or not for a while now, I guess it is a kind of therapy in someways. Showing you guys something that upset me so much.

I think most people who want to sort themselves out have a "eureka" moment, the day a friend uploaded and tagged me in this photo on Facebook was mine.

I didn't realise how big I had got and I actually remember leaving to go to the party thinking I looked NICE .. jesus. No!

Anyway, this is the photo that changed everything. It still disgusts me and I look at it when I am feeling low.

http://http//www.minimins.com/72299-reluctant_whale-albums-picture-changed-me.html**having struggles posting the vile photo - will put it on the next post down **

Feel free to share your own "eureka" moments. They are always interesting to read.

 

[reluctant_whale]

The photo is here :

 

[-Pudding-]

God I hate getting tagged on Facebook!

My Eureka moment came when I was speaking at a conference. I was talking away to a room full of people (about 250 of them) and feeling pretty confident. After the event the organiser emailed the speakers to let us know that it was filmed and the film was up on their website. I went to look and was absolutely mortified....I literally sobbed my eyes out for about an hour because I looked so awful and I felt sick thinking that I'd felt confident at the time and those 250 people had spent 40 minutes watching a talking blimp on stage.

I still cringe when I think about it and I know the video still gets linked to from other sites...which makes me die a little bit inside everytime someone says "Oh I saw you...."

 

[reluctant_whale]

and for positivities sake this is me last Saturday at a Rammstein gig 16lb lighter - can't see much difference but I think I look a hell of a lot better than the first one!

 

[jonnyjames]

My OMG photo was one that they put on the staff notice board when i went back after maternity leave. I looked like the michelin man with 10 chins.

I am happy to say that my boss has now updated it and i am minus about 7 chins.

 

[moonlights]

Can I just stop by as a stranger to say I think you're very pretty, reluctant, and even in the photo you hate I wouldn't think you looked disgusting at all. It is of course our own opinion of ourselves that matters and we all need that lightbulb moment so that photo has done good work but don't be too hard on yourself. And the difference weight wise in the two pictures is definitely noticeable, great loss!

 

[almostthere]

Can I just stop by as a stranger to say I think you're very pretty, reluctant, and even in the photo you hate I wouldn't think you looked disgusting at all. It is of course our own opinion of ourselves that matters and we all need that lightbulb moment so that photo has done good work but don't be too hard on yourself. And the difference weight wise in the two pictures is definitely noticeable, great loss!

Absolutely agree with moonlights! And this is a great thread, thanks for having the courage to post.

I don't have a photo of my 'lightbulb moment', but it happened when I went to Tenerife in December 2010. Felt so miserable, had to cover up all the time and dreaded sitting on the beach in case someone tried to harpoon me. Almost had a heart attack walking up and down all the hills to our villa.

Started dieting as soon as I came back. Has taken a while to get to the weight I am now, but am SO much happier. Never want to be like that again and will get to my goal weight this year. Am actually looking forward to this summer!

 

[reluctant_whale]

Oh blimey! Reminds me of our holiday to Dubai & Japan (myself and OH have exchanged kids for travel ) Dubai was horrendous. It was 40 in the shade and I was sat there with a shawl on sweating like a pig. Once we got to Japan I spent the first week in bed because it was so humid my body couldn't handle it. Once I did get out and about I felt so uncomfortable, sore legs, swollen ankles. Infact the photograph was taken when we got back from the Far East. We are off to Malaysia & Indonesia this summer and I WILL go in the swimming pool .. ive not swam due to cossie paranoia since I was forced to at school 15 years ago !!!

I think however slim I ever get the mirror demons will still be with you - but unfortunately bullies have made me feel like that my whole life, ive actually had a stranger in the street grab a sausage roll from Greggs out of my hand, chuck it on the floor, tell me "fatties shouldn't eat that" and walk off laughing. Not to mention the newsagent behind the till that refused to sell me a flapjack and told me my money would be better invested in a gym membership .. absolutely TRUE stories!

 

[-Pudding-]

I think however slim I ever get the mirror demons will still be with you - but unfortunately bullies have made me feel like that my whole life, ive actually had a stranger in the street grab a sausage roll from Greggs out of my hand, chuck it on the floor, tell me "fatties shouldn't eat that" and walk off laughing. Not to mention the newsagent behind the till that refused to sell me a flapjack and told me my money would be better invested in a gym membership .. absolutely TRUE stories!

That's just awful!! :flamingmad:

What on earth do people think they hope to achieve by saying things like that? Do they really think that being nasty to someone who's overweight is suddenly going to make them lose all their weight...as though they hadn't recognised that they're fat before the bully pointed it out? It really makes me mad because losing weight seems to be one area where many people's idea of 'support' is to bully.

Anyway you're very pretty so I wouldn't be afraid to look at your photos, whatever your size.

 

[Soraya]

OMG - I cannot get over the flapjack newsagent!

 

[nevadiva]

Wow unbelievable stories, people can be so horrible. I've only had it happen once to my face when I was living in Hong Kong I went to the Rugby 7's which is massive with thousands of people and as I walked past these two guys one said to the other so that I could hear 'look at that fat bird in a South African rugby shirt' Well I tell you I shot round and at the top of my voice replied ' well I can always lose weight mate but your dick will always be small' and then walked off. About two months later I was having drinks with friends when this guy came up to me who I didn't know and told me he had heard me saying this to this guy and had never laughed so much.

Yes it does worry me what people say and I hate having my picture taken, I always worry what people think when I am walking down the isle of the aeroplane as I can almost hear them thinking Please not next to me but you know what I may be fat but I'm not a horrible person I haven't done anything bad so who are others to judge us

 

[boggins]

I didn't have a "final straw" photo. At the end of 2009 I went through an acute depression. Lasted maybe 6 months, then a long, slow recovery (meds, therapy). By May 2011, I just knew it was finally time. It wasn't even a decision to do something about my weight, it was just...I'm not that person anymore.

I am not horrified by photos of me at my fattest- I try not to judge anyone by their appearance, even myself. This is about what's on the inside, for me.

 

[letsgetlosing]

Those comments you got were just nasty. Some people can be so cruel and I can imagine how awful you felt after these comments.

But you will get the last laugh on them x

I did laugh at someones comment about when you get on a plane and you can see everyone thinking 'please dont sit next to me'. I have experienced this several times as I travel with 2 toddlers and people start panicing when they see us board lol!

 

[nevadiva]

Boggins you are doing amazingly well well done x

 

[Alpaca]

You look gorgeous Reluctant!!! Really pretty and so much healthier in the recent photo!! Well done ... Xx

 

[tazbabe]

some people!!!

you have done really well, we are proud of you!!

 

[crowther64]

The last straw for me happened 2 weeks ago. We went for lunch at my in-laws. I was sitting on the couch holding my inhaler when I dropped it on the floor. I can't bend over very well as my tummy is very big. So without thinking I was rocking myself back and forth to get a bit of momentum to reach down for the inhaler. All of a sudden I become aware that everyone in the room was watching me with pity on their faces. I was mortified and thats when I decided I had to do something. So now I am on day 6 of Go Lower and so far so good!

Pam x

 

[Sophia G]

I've never kinda had a motivational photo - in fact its the opposite, I'M motivated by the fact I have very few photos of me and my son together

If only they made a self esteem pill! Lol on the topic of insults though, the favourite aimed at me is "fat c****", even taking the trouble to shout it across the street, y'know just incase I thought I'd become Kate moss overnight. The strangest time it happened though was when across the street was someone who was at least 5 stone heavier than me, who never even got a second glance. *shrugs* I must be at the "acceptable" size for abuse lol

We won't always be big, but they'll always be small minded tools who can only find joy from other peoples pain.

 

[crowther64]

Like you Sophia I have only a few photo's of me with my children. I feel ugly and shy away from the camera. Its so sad as they should be precious memento's of you and your growing child.

Nobody has ever shouted anything nasty to me, but friends (who mean no harm) have a tendency of calling me "Big Pam"!! I don't want to be the fat jolly one anymore, I want to be the slim sexy one (ok that might be pushing it, lol). Slim will do me!:sigh:

 

[reluctant_whale]

Like you Sophia I have only a few photo's of me with my children. I feel ugly and shy away from the camera. Its so sad as they should be precious memento's of you and your growing child.

Nobody has ever shouted anything nasty to me, but friends (who mean no harm) have a tendency of calling me "Big Pam"!! I don't want to be the fat jolly one anymore, I want to be the slim sexy one (ok that might be pushing it, lol). Slim will do me!:sigh:

You CAN be the slim, sexy one Pam!!! You will also find out who your real friends are during this process im sure "frauds" rather than "freinds" choke on the compliments that will be coming thick and fast and offering you cream buns "just one won't hurt" ... xx