Hi everyone. I just want to thank you all for your kind words of support.
I have to say that last night was one of the most soul destroying times ever. I cried from being weighed at 4.30pm to going to bed at 11pm (and then a few more tears this morning!!). Warren came round to see me last niht (even though I was being a total bit*h taking it out on him and had told him not to bother) and I just cried the whole time. Bless him, he is so good to me. He just squeezed me a bit harder and told me it will be okay.
The thing is, it is not just the weight gain which has upset me. But it was the final straw. My grandad is so so poorly at the minute, in fact he is going to be going in a home any day now because he is just so unwell and shouldn't be in the house of his on his own. Even though he has the carers coming out every few hours. He needs the option of 24 hour care and support as and when he needs it. Basically, nobody knows how long he is going to be here with us. So it just feels like a bit of a waiting game. My heart is breaking for him and for my mam - he is all she has left as her mam passed away when she was only young, only a couple of weeks before her first grandchild (my brother) was born. So it is really devastating.
Anyway, I don't really think any of that had time to sink it, I hadn't really gotten upset about it. And then having that unexpected and undeserved gain last night, that just pushed me over the edge. I thought that, even with everything that is going on, Slimming World and losing weight is the one thing that I could control. But obviously not! It is so frustrating.
Oh well, what can I do? Nothing.
One good thing about last night is that I didn't fall into old habbits and didn't go home from WI and binge. In the past I would have headed straight to the chippy, demolished a disgusting amount of takeaway food followed by numerous bars of chocolate and bags of sweets, all washed down with full fat fizzy pop. Actually, last night sent me the opposite way. As you all know, on a Tuesday I always use my leftover Syns for an Indian and a chocolate treat of some sort afterwards. But not last night. I feel like I didn't deserve it. I mean, I'd been 100% on plan all week and still managed to somehow gain. So why should I allow myself treats after that!? I made some Syn free pasta for tea and used my second HExB for a HiFi bar instead of the chocolate.
Well, another new week this week. Not really sure what I can do any different as I saw last week as a perfect week. Even if I get a "double whammy" next week, like many people have been saying, I still don't think I'll be happy. I'll just be scared that another gain will follow. In the last couple of weeks I feel like I've gotten into that gain, loss, gain, loss..cycle again. Same old, same old!!
As you can tell I am still feeling extremely low today, so I apologise for my moan and if I am a little quite around here for the time being. But once again thank you all for the support, as always.
Let's try again...
Extra Easy
(S) = Speed (SS) = SuperSpeed
Breakfast:
- Pineapple (S)
Lunch:
- Mini Cheese (HExA) and Vegetable (Mushooms (S), Peppers (S), Red Onion (S) and Tomato (S)) Quiches with Baked Beans (S)
- Strawberry Danio (1 Syn)
Dinner:
- Gammon Steak topped with a Fried Egg and served with Sweet Potato Wedges, Roasted Vegetables (Mushrooms (S), Peppers (S) and Red Onion and a Tomato (S)) and Baked Beans (SS)
Other:
- 2 x Rocky Road HiFi Light (HExB)
Healthy Extra A: 40g Reduced Fat Cheddar
Healthy Extra B: 2 x HiFi Light
Daily Syns: 1
Weekly Syns: 1 / 105
, my weigh in was in the morning, I got my 3 stone award
