The start of the journey

[firelass]

Well, the eat all you like meal on tuesday was fantastic, I ate so much I was almost sick. That is bad, then I ate a pizza hut over two nights, then I sort of had a KFC, erm.. *cough* It fell in the car.. when I drove through the drive in. And erm.. 8 bits of chicken counter rotisserie chicken.
I thought weigh in today would be bad bad bad. It wasnt. I put on 2lb. So that's alright. I still have just over a stone to loose, because in the last few weeks my weight has gone up a wee bit, down a wee bit back up. But mostly maintained. So I need to lose a stone then maintain.

Back down to sole source I go. So I still have some fruit in from being on step 3, I have to eat it because I'm short on money and it won't keep. Everything else in is the freezer.

So from today on, 3 products a day, and then either a step one meal or nothing. we will see how it goes. I have some soups and I have the mix a mouse and the water flavouring. So Maybe I won't feel like I need to have a meal.

I think I should plan in my week. I have my meals mostly sorted. Its just time for the gym I need to work in. I have so much work on just now.

 

[firelass]

Well so far so good, on weigh day I had three products and a wee bit of chicken. Yesterday I had a banana and three products. Today I have had three products and a peatch. It was the last peatch.

I have a few plumbs left, one banana, and some nectarines. But at a max of one/two a day they might go off before I get to them.

I find I have to have something when everyone else is eating at uni. I can't sit there with nothing, I could take a shake, but I find I can't drink tea or juice at the same time because its too much fluid. Also its no good leaving class to pee every few minutes lol

Tomorrow I have a block of two hours no break, then an hour for lunch then another block of two hours. I hate it when my tummy is loud in class.

 

[firelass]

yesterday I had to walk past the local shops on the way home, and the chippy smellt so so nice. So I ended up buying chips.
Today I have felt awfull for it. Not to do with the chips. But because I feel guilty. I was starving hungry. But I should have had my water flavouring and more water or tea instead.

So today i have spent the whole day starving, then at tea time my other half left some pizza. From hear to the recycling bin it disappeared. It was so tasty! And I don't even like peperoni

So got this bbq tomorrow, the plan is to just have sausage and a burger. That is it, no other bits. Wish me luck.

You know what's making it hard, most classes have a break in them, and sometimes a small break between them. The smokers all dash out, the rest of us go get a coffee and a snack. So I need to just get a tea and stick with that. I need to not be getting a coffee, they make the coffee with full cream milk, I made mine a mocha with cream the other day and regretted that. Though I doubt I will have put on any weight with that one, it came out faster than I drank it

I dread weigh in now though I might be able to get to the gym after the bbq tomorrow or sunday night. But I have so so much work to do for monday
I don't really even have time to be here

 

[firelass]

What I'm I doing!! what on earth just happened. I ate that much food at the bbq I was sick all the way home. What a prat. That will teach me. And now tomorrow I'm going to feel awful. Was it worth it, no. but i would do it again! Why don't I learn. Bad food is just bad. Its not good in anyway, A treat would be fine. Now and again, not every other day, not 6 treats or too much every few days.

I have done well not only to loose I think close to 5stone in two years, but to be maintaining even to heavy. I'm not really getting bigger. I must stop this though.

My CDC was not happy, every other weigh in I have something to admit, confess and make up for. So the next week I do. Then after I just do it all over again. Its like a wee two week cycle. Only this last weigh in with two lb on I was supposed to be doing good at the bbq. So weigh in is monday. What is the chances I will do well. none no chance at all.

Gonna only have my three products, go to the gym and drink loads of water. Try and sort my self out. I'm disgusted with my self. Eating so much I was sick, at my age! also the tummy pain! its horrid.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

I hear ya hun, I'm the same, and am beginning to wonder if being on cwp had made any issues I already had worse! I can eat a 200g bar of Cadbury in 10mins flat, and keep going too, never used to be able to to that.

And yup, on holiday ate so much I made myself really unwell one day - 2 course breakfast with smoothie, cooked lunch, afternoon tea (sweet and savoury( 5 course meal, second dessert - I was in so much pain and the worst thing was it wasn't coming out either end (tmi) I was in agony, ended up having to make myself sick to relieve the pain. I just didn't know when to stop!

That was my 6th cruise so it's not like I was let loose in an all you can eat for the first time, and I've never been that bad before either, it's just as soon as I go near food these days, the floodgates open and I can't stop!

So, same as you, back on SS as I know I can trust myself to do that, but it's not a long term solution, looking into therapy for that!

X

 

[firelass]

good luck! I hope you can find something that works. And if you do let me know!

Well, I lost 1lb today, so even though I over ate, I managed to loose. Go figure. My cdc thinks it was the sickness :/ so I thought I would treat my self with a burger king!!! AHHH. I was at the gym for two hours tonight, fingers crossed that has helped.

 

[CrazyDiamond]

good luck! I hope you can find something that works. And if you do let me know! Well, I lost 1lb today, so even though I over ate, I managed to loose. Go figure. My cdc thinks it was the sickness :/ so I thought I would treat my self with a burger king!!! AHHH. I was at the gym for two hours tonight, fingers crossed that has helped.

Oh no! See... I don't know about you but I never touched the stuff before, yet thurs it was KFC and Costa/Choc on the way home from work (at 2 diff service stations!) then fri macdonalds and an Indian!!

I'm avoiding the scales for the next few days, they do me no good!

2 days and 6 packs down, the things we do eh?!

 

[firelass]

yeah, those foods are how I got in this mess. Thing is, I lost two stone just healthy eating and exercise, then when I started cambridge I lost another two stone. Because, I was looking at it as a choice. I was loving the control I had over my eating, and my weight.
Now I feel like I'm stuck in a bad tasting prison, where on the other side of the bars the grass is not just greener, its made of tasty food! Trees of chips with sauce.. droool.

I need to get out of that mind set, but I can't seem to work out how. I can't just change my mind. Its almost like I have decided to sneak eat food. But why, because its not real if no one sees me eat it. It never happened if I throw away the evidence. I know it did. And the scales do, so why I'm I doing this.

I have been straight cambridge today nothing else. And I feel ruff, my head hurts. I have had my water. I have had all three products. I'm going to have a 4th for supper because I can. See if it helps. Though starving myself today, is not the cure for eating crap yesterday. Another bad habit!

 

[firelass]

boooya, time of the month and still lost two lb I like this. Gotta go to the doc about the dizzy spells though.

 

[firelass]

I'm ill booo cough cough cough cough,,,

 

[firelass]

been really perfectly good all week. lost one lb... one.... So I can eat a cheese burger pizza and still loose 2lb or only eat allowed messured foods and loose 1lb hmmm

 

[firelass]

sigh, kfc friday, then a mcdonald's today, anyone want a bet on weigh day tomorrow

 

[firelass]

I went on a strange food binge for three days I ate everything I could eat. Not good stuff either. Today I feel a mix of cravings, but also a feeling of nooo more foooddd. so full off food. Though if a cheeseburger stuffed crust pizza was on offer i would eat it!

 

[Lauralou1]

How is it going? I start CD saturday for the 1 st time eeek x

 

[firelass]

well.....the food binge lasted over a week. I literally ate all of the foods I could get hold off.. But today is good.
I have not cheated. well except the cream in my coffee this morning.

You know CD is really about head space. If your head can get round it, its fine, it works its really good. Its our own mental issues that cause the problems. I did not need all that food. I felt so guilty at the time and after. Was it even that nice... or worth it.. hmmm. We will see monday's weigh in when I'm sad and fat lol

 

[firelass]

not good, my other half failed to get a job she really wanted, so we ended up with take away just after weigh in. And I guess thats fine it was just after weigh in. But then i got ill, no idea whats going on but I fainted and I have done my back in. So weigh in this week was +2lb arg! but it could be because I was ill not sure.
So waiting for blood tests to come back and I have been put up on to step three. My cdc thinks I could be asked to stop cambridge while this is getting sorted.
I dont want to
I never thought I would say that, but the fear of moving on to actual food. Its been 6 months with the diet so far, with only ever cheat days. Granted the last few weeks have seen about two cheat days a week lol but on the whole Even when it's gone up by 2lb its come down by 3lb the week after. So going ok I guess.

Well waiting for the doc to call me back... taking her sweet time.

 

[firelass]

My friends who are also on the diet with me were bad and bearly used any products. I jumped on the band wagon and did the same. Ate with them. But unlike them, I only put on 2lb I feel bad, almost two weeks of eating actual food. Though to be fair, I was not as bad as them.

I see no reason to have a carb heavy breakfast with marmalade and butter, or bacon, haggis and tatty scon on roles then add **** loads of butter and sauce. I had one role with bacon and egg.

I felt no need then to eat a large lunch, so I did not then eat more carbs, nor did I eat crisps a chocolate bar and then a ginger bread cookie. I have had a bit of fruit for breakfast, or an omelette, a good lunch or a product, so maybe just chicken.
Then mostly a cainbridge tea. Or we went out for food.
I now really crave fish and chips, just chips really. . . fooood. still I don't have long till I'm at target. Then I can stop for christmas and start again in jan. That is the plan.

 

[firelass]

A lot can change in a week. my back started to play up and get sore. Then I fainted and it got really really sore. I spoke to a doctor, I then got an appointment for an mri scheduled for a few weeks.
Someone was unable to make their appointment, So I got a last minuet cancellation on wednesday, for thursday night. I went a long and they wanted to look at the images there and then.
The on call neurosurgeon suggested I should get surgery asap, and ether I was to stay in overnight or go home and come back in the morning.
I had the two hour op on the friday, I had the prolapsed disk removed from my spine. Was all so fast.

I got out on hospital on the monday evening. So from a cambridge point of view and from the hospitals point of view I can not continue with the diet at the moment. the plan is to be very careful and not put on too much weight while I'm layed up.

 

[Goldilukes]

Boo! How are you? How's your back? Just been trying to catch up best I can around the diaries. Sorry to hear about the binge.....but you are still on track so that's A great thing.

 

[firelass]

First weigh in for two weeks. I was in hospital last week lol

back is doing really well, I walked up to the local shops today.
I was surprised at weigh in to do so well. There is no way they removed 2.5lb of stuff from my back. So I guess healing really dose use more calories.

I have asked my CDC to find out when I can start back on the plan. I want to go back to it asap.

I also need to get back into my studies. Before this happened I had so much homework coming out of my ears I was so stressed. now I'm two weeks behind. I need to get moving.