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the ugly truth

Ok, here goes. Since the age of 14 I have had depression but I had sort of got a hold of it until the start of this year. Just recently it has got worse. I had lost two and a half stone with SW but since January I have put a stone back on. I have been comfort eating and am terribly unhappy and my confidence is so bad that somedays I do not dare to leave the house. I do not work because of my depression and was recently made ill by a so called friend who used me. I have decided to start this diary because it is time for me to have a fresh start. Tonight I made a list of the things causing my depression and at the top of the list was my weight. This is why tomorrow evening I am rejoining Slimming World. I am aware of how unhealthy eating can also make you feel unwell so I am hoping that eating healthier will help improve my mental health too. I have made my list with a problem column, a solution column, and an anticipated outcome column. Slowly I am hoping to work my way down this list. So that's it. Hopefully a new me shall emerge somewhere down the line!!!
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Hi, just wanted to wish you goodluck on starting sw meeting, forget that so called 'friend' you will make new friends, you will make new friends at your meeting, you all there for the same reason, depression is a nasty thing, take things slowly, you can do this, take care hun

sandy x
Thanks Sandy xx
I have found a big problem with me is going out friday and saturday nights and then having a takeaway after! That's why I have decided to go to group on a monday, hopefully this will give me the motivation to swap the chips covered in ketchup and mayo for a jacket spud and baked beans with no butter!!!
ooo just realised i can see the place that my new group will be held at from my frontroom window- If that isn't an incentive then I don't know what is! Everytime I wish to cheat I shall just look out the window!!!
hi i suffered with depression and weight was a massive issue i comfort eat but now im getting threw it and hope you do as a fresh start makes you feel good .x
Hi, just wanted to say I've also had depression on and off since 15 (I'm now 33). I also lost 2 stone with SW then put most of it back on. Been on anti depressants for just over a year now (my third time on them) and I'm just trying to get back on the plan, but it's so hard when one day you can be 'up' and the next very 'down'. It takes alot of courage to admit it and to start to make changes so well done!

Good luck.

Rejoined tonight, big shock when i got on the scales :(. I won the raffle and me mate gave me a huge bag of cauliflower today! Going to have extra easy day tomorrow. Off to the cinema with niece and nephew in the afternoon, going to have some of those fruit salad sweets as syns.

Thank you guys for your support and encouragement xx
Well what a great start! syn free fry up for breakfast, and even managed to resist all the sweets at the cinema, despite having my niece and nephew sat next to me eating smarties and maltesers! Feeling much more positive today about everything! not had any syns yet.
Mega day- the sun is shining. I've found the motivation to walk up town and do a small food shop- alone. Done my housework and even some ironing- totally out of character! Trying out a new recipe tonight- sweet and sour chicken x
today i have baked my ass off! Quiche made with low fat super noodles, mushrooms and bacon and tuna. Cottage pie. macaroni cheese mixed with cauliflower. Cooked a syn free breakfast- egg, bacon, mushrooms and spaghetti. For tea i shall be having the cottage pie with the cauliflower, roast potatoes and roast parsnips! Yummy! Then I shall make up some pudding rice, let it cool and mix it with a toffee mullerlight!
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AArggh, freezer's broke, luckily my neighbour's let me borrow his. First time i've had a full freezer in months as well! Ok added my syns up so far and i've only had about 14 so far, not good over three days, but so scared of not losing this first week. Not happy that all my lollies in the freezer have to go in the bin.
Feelin pretty positive today-first weigh in at seven and i know i must have lost. Went to doctors today and I'm being referred to some groups to help with my confidence problem.
Shall also be seeing a careers advisor because I'm so eager to return to work because I know it will be the making of me. They may say i have to attend these groups first to build up my confidence first tho. But slowly i'm making positive steps towards being the person I have always longed to be x
Well i am back.. What a terrible couple of weeks. Life goes on as they say. Small gain but could have been much worse- so time to get back on track.
Great loss for the first week..well done! Your gain will come off in no time!

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