alexmummy07
Silver Member
As I was writing my blog today, I think I've finally made a bit of a break through - so many people keep saying to me you must feel so proud in losing almost 4 1/2 stone, and losing weight etc etc, and in all honesty I don't. I always comment back with, so much more to go, I'm still in big sizes - still classed as obese (although hopefully not for too much longer) etc etc, I just can't accept the nice comments. I look at everyone else's stats on here, and if mine were on someone else's (which I've seen many times over) I look and think wow that's amazing, even those starting out, I think are great, but my own, it's never good enough.
Anyway... as I was writing I think I've uncovered part of the reason why, - this is what I wrote, and it's really hit home...
"it's like I have two people in me, one saying you've done well, be proud! and the other saying, you're not there no way near goal yet, if you feel 'proud' of yourself now then you might give in, you might not get there, so you can't be proud in case you then don't get to goal...hhmmm maybe that's it - maybe that is the cracking point? Perhaps this is my problem in accepting comments, or a part of it? Maybe if I do accept the fact that 4 1/2 stone is a lot to have lost and be proud of myself now, I am just scared of not getting any further, and so being 'proud' of myself is like admitting I can't do anymore? I won't be able to go on and hit my goal, and ultimately that is my worst fear. To never see 10st 1 on the scales and to get a healthy BMI is terrifying to me, and then to never get under that to have a few lbs to be able to fluctuate with that scares me too.
Perhaps I've had a bit of a break through today.
Food for thought I guess for me to ponder on."
I just wondered how everyone else deals with feeling proud of themselves? I actually hope everyone else is really proud of themselves, as I am proud of everyone who starts this diet, as it isn't easy, and we don't give ourselves credit enough (I know I know - the above).
Also, I have finally taken the plunge of uploading a couple of photo's to my album in my profile, I think there is only one 'before' photo and a couple of recent ones. They aren't great as the before wasn't quite my heaviest, but I avoided photo's most of the time at my heaviest, and only took 'face' shots really - I've a few more around, so must update really.
Anyway, sorry for the really long post, just something I wanted to get off my chest and share.
Claire xx
Anyway... as I was writing I think I've uncovered part of the reason why, - this is what I wrote, and it's really hit home...
"it's like I have two people in me, one saying you've done well, be proud! and the other saying, you're not there no way near goal yet, if you feel 'proud' of yourself now then you might give in, you might not get there, so you can't be proud in case you then don't get to goal...hhmmm maybe that's it - maybe that is the cracking point? Perhaps this is my problem in accepting comments, or a part of it? Maybe if I do accept the fact that 4 1/2 stone is a lot to have lost and be proud of myself now, I am just scared of not getting any further, and so being 'proud' of myself is like admitting I can't do anymore? I won't be able to go on and hit my goal, and ultimately that is my worst fear. To never see 10st 1 on the scales and to get a healthy BMI is terrifying to me, and then to never get under that to have a few lbs to be able to fluctuate with that scares me too.
Perhaps I've had a bit of a break through today.
Food for thought I guess for me to ponder on."
I just wondered how everyone else deals with feeling proud of themselves? I actually hope everyone else is really proud of themselves, as I am proud of everyone who starts this diet, as it isn't easy, and we don't give ourselves credit enough (I know I know - the above).
Also, I have finally taken the plunge of uploading a couple of photo's to my album in my profile, I think there is only one 'before' photo and a couple of recent ones. They aren't great as the before wasn't quite my heaviest, but I avoided photo's most of the time at my heaviest, and only took 'face' shots really - I've a few more around, so must update really.
Anyway, sorry for the really long post, just something I wanted to get off my chest and share.
Claire xx
. But when I see a recent photograph of myself, I can see that my proportions are a whole lot better now than 4 months ago, and it is slowly starting to sink in that I am no longer a fat blob!
