Thinking of switching sides!!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Sez, 29 May 2007 Social URL.

  1. Sez

    Sez has started again!!

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    Hi Guys, have posted for info on this over on the CD forum, so now will ask for your opinions too.

    I am strongly consodering the move to Cd, as I am now on development with LL. I cant go this week, but when I attend WI next week,there will be a whole new "batch" of people in our group. Firstly, I am not at all sure how I feel about that, and secondly I am not sure developemnt is going to do much for me anyway.

    As you can see, I have at least another 5 stone to lose, and I truly feel the "development" is going to be a waste of money. As far as I can tell, if I am on it long term, as I will need to be, there will be little more counselling than I have already had, & I am not comfortable with spending the same amount of money for what I feel may be a lesser service.

    The reason I am hesitating to switch is the managment program. I know CD do re-introduce food gradually, but again, I am not sure of the support!! (I know it sounds as if I metaphorically want my cake & eat it..)

    Have anyof you had this dilemma & what made you stick with LL please? I truthfully want to be as informed as possible before making any decision to change sides.

    I am fully intent on ss-ing for as long as I need to, but am concerned that I am very likely going to be spending a lot more money & want to minimize wasteage!!

    My head is spinning & it would be great if someone out there can give a gentle nudge to set me on thr right track for me!

    Cheers everyone!

    xx
     
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  3. Mrs Lard

    Mrs Lard Silver Member

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    Hi Sarah

    I've just had my first development session tonight; felt a bit overwhelmed by it to be honest BUT think it will be worth it. Only time will tell.

    Why don't you 'try before you buy' ie try development for a week or two and then make a decision? It's already very different (Development compared with Foundation) and it would be a shame for you to have come so far and then switch when...Development might do it for you. It's not fixed and prescribed like Foundation AND you may find that those in Development understand just where you're at right now. If it doesn't work out, what have you lost? A week or two, at most.

    I won't mention CT (crooked thinking)!!! Whoops, I just did but you know what I mean!

    Good luck; remember, Development is a week-by-week arrangement.

    Let us know what you decide.

    Mrs L xxx
     
  4. Sez

    Sez has started again!!

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    Thanks Mrs L. I am too wondering if the crooked thinking is having an influence too! I seem to have hit a mental wall at the mo, I am finding harder now than I think I have all the way through. Every day is a huge struggle, and I often end up sobbing on my husbands shoulder. Its crazy really, & sometimes I do feel I AM going nuts.

    I get frightened sometimes, too, as I want to eat real food so desparately that I am genuinely concerned that I will totally lose the plot when the time comes.

    I dont really think I can open up about this in group just yet as although they are great bunch, they are all pretty "perfect" and not once have any of them admitted to inner turmoil. Often, I wear my heart on my sleeve in group, and as a result I feel a bit in the spotlight. As you say, I may feel differently once I meet the "new" ladies.

    I know I am talking around in circles, but I am very very confused and muddled, not about ss-ing, but about where I need to go from here!

    Your help is very much appreciated.

    xx
     
  5. katie_oxo

    katie_oxo Silver Member

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    I agree with Mrs L - you may go to this group and feel completely at home and as though you can open up and that others will open up. The thing about development is that it is for people who are there for the longer term, rather than those who are there to lost just 3 stone as your foundation might have had. My thoughts are that if it's people with more to lose they may feel as you do, or have strong feelings in another direction .... but if you move to cd now you'll never know whether it would have done you any good.

    I'd personally try it for a couple of weeks at least.

    Best of luck

    Cath
     
  6. Mrs Lard

    Mrs Lard Silver Member

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    Dear Sarah

    I thought about you overnight and from my own experience, I can totally understand what you are going through.

    You said (sorry, can't do cut and paste with colour!):

    |\I am too wondering if the crooked thinking is having an influence too! I seem to have hit a mental wall at the mo, I am finding harder now than I think I have all the way through. Every day is a huge struggle, and I often end up sobbing on my husbands shoulder. Its crazy really, & sometimes I do feel I AM going nuts.

    I would guess that it IS crooked thinking; in the past, when I have been close to achieving something (even something like packing up one room, or starting to lose weight (many times over!!), I experience so much resistance (within myself). I have cried many tears, too; it DOES feel like a struggle but I now recognise this as crooked thinking. I just didn't know what it was before. If you have told yourself that you will never be slim or that you don't deserve success (like I did), then losing the amount of weight that you have done already challenges those core beliefs, doesn't it?

    I dont really think I can open up about this in group just yet as although they are great bunch, they are all pretty "perfect" and not once have any of them admitted to inner turmoil. Often, I wear my heart on my sleeve in group

    Well, development really is a different place; I wrote about it last night (too much to say here but have a look at the blog) and in my group there were women with significant weight losses. Foundation isn't like that.

    From everything you've written on minimins, I just keep sensing that this is exactly about where you go next ie it's a scary place but it's easy to label as having SOOO much weight to lose. The thing is Sarah you have ALREADY lost a lot of weight; you have proved to yourself that you CAN do it - it's no longer a case of "When I lose weight..." you are DOING it. (Sorry about the caps - I just want to show emphasis.)

    I think you are on a threshold; once you take that next step, you know you will be committed - you know you COULD succeed (further). It's just taking that next step and you are hesitating because you are now facing the real reasons why you overate in the first place. You will change for the better as you face these demons. Sorry, if this sounds heavy but that's how I am feeling right now after almost three decades of having problems with my weight (and food).

    Sarah, I could say, be brave, just give it a go but you've already been brave - you've already gone to the LL induction and then gone through Foundation. Inside, I believe you WANT to do this - please try not to let crooked thinking jeopardise your journey. BUT only you can make that decision; those of us further along the road can give you the benefit of our experience. The rest is up to you BUT you are not on your own.

    Give yourself a chance and get busy writing those thought records and look at core beliefs; you will feel so much better.

    I hope this has helped. I'm going through a bit of an epiphany at the moment.

    Sending you a big hug and please just acknowledge how far you have already come along this road.

    Mrs L xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  7. Geri

    Geri Gold Member

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    Hiya Sez,
    I agree with the others, give it a go, you won't know how you'll get on until you try it :p.

    You're over half way to your goal, wow what an acheivement, well done to YOU :) Let us know how you get on :p
     
  8. Sez

    Sez has started again!!

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    Hi everyone! Well, I have slept on it now & even dreamed about it, in an odd kind of way.

    I have thought about all that has been said on here, and I have even listened to my husband's thoughts on the matter, (well, theres a firs time for everything!).

    I have decided to take the advice offered here and stick with LL for the time being. Mrs L, you are absolutely right, it IS like being on the threshold of something I know nothing about. I honestly cans say I have never been a "normal" size, as even as a young child I was the chubby one, Puppy fat, and all that. It didnt change as I got older, save to become a much worse problem bringing with it lots of heartache. In a way I suppose my fear is "what if the problems are still there when I am slim, and I am just blaming the fat on my lifes issues?" (Crooked thinking, ?? Oh yes, for sure.) The other issues, is that the impetus has dulled slightly with all the compliments I am receiving now. I am on the brink of "normal" clothes shops, I dont stand out in a crowd because of my size etc etc. I KNOW there are still 5 stone to lose and I must prioritize my health and ME to achieve this.

    I am def nervous re: the development group next wee. I have been to one devel. group, when we drew our "river". Apparently mine said a lot about pleasing others, but not much about Sarah and what she needs and where she she wants to be on the other side!

    I will carry on with LL, but I think I might choose to take a back seat at group until I am comfortable with the changed sessions. As you have said Mr L, it is a week by week commitment & time will tell if I need to change.

    Thanks everyone, I very much doubt I could do any of this with out the excellent women and men here on Minis. SO many wise, caring in this world, and LOADS of them are here!!

    XXX
     
  9. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    Good that you've made a decision. I know tw people who didnt stay to the end of the process and having lost over 5 stone each they then put it back on again....I do think its a process (albeit an expensive one!) but well worth it in the long run. While CD is undeniably cheaper its not necessarily the better option because you dont really think about your relationship with food. I cant totally understand where you are and have been there but decided to stick with LL because I'm worth it LOL!!! We have about the same to loose so lets chivvy each other along the way eh! Problem is that its all getting a bit tedious now isnt it! Mind you I'm only on week 11!! LOOOONg way to go but I'm trying to just take it a day at a time! Look at the fantastic achievement so far, have a look at your diary from the first few weeks as an "aide memoir" and see how far you've come! Watch out for the complacency - its a killer & slippery slope! As for wearing your heart on your sleive - good for you! Honesty is refreshing and I bet others probably feel simular but just struggle to express it so you just carry on being yourself!
     
  10. AmandaJayne

    AmandaJayne Trainee Maintainer

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    I've just caught up with this thread, Sarah and want to congratulate you first on...
    ...having less to lose now than you've already lost!

    I see from your holiday ticker that you have another couple of months before Spain and that you are hoping to lose another two stone by then. It is, like, totally doable (an expression that Goorge Dubya Bush invented, I believe), and I hope the time flies by...

    Mrs L has said some wise words about crooked thinking. It is insideous, sly and horribly subtle in the way it undermines our achievements. We walk into its trap constantly and, until I did LL from foundation, development and on to management, I had no idea of its power over me.

    It still tries to catch me out and confuse me.

    I really do feel for you having to carry on SSing for another few months. It is really tough. Try if you can to think 'long term'. How about thinking ahead to this Christmas. By then you will be back on the food again, and will be planning healthy menus for the festive period. You will be shopping for 'normal' sizes and will have to pinch yourself on a regular basis because it is all so amazing. You will be in a place you have never been before and it is fantastic. I am still loving it!

    On Monday I was with a school trip visiting a local Palace. We had to climb to the top of a tower. I don't like heights but was able to cope by looking far ahead into the distance and not, absoluely not, looking down at my feet! Seems like a good analogy for you too!
     
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