Thought for the Day

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Eclipse, 25 September 2006 Social URL.

  1. Eclipse

    Eclipse Gold Member

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    Had this sent to me recently:

    In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

    Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ice Cream and Cream Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

    And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

    And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

    So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

    And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic bread on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

    God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."


    And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

    God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake" and said, "It is good."


    Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

    God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.

    And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

    And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

    God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

    And Satan created McDonald's and its 99p double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" And Man replied "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."


    And Man went into cardiac arrest.

    God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.


    Thought for the day ......

    There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.



    X X X Cheryl
     
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  3. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Cheryl that is absolutely brilliant:D :D :D
     
  4. Eclipse

    Eclipse Gold Member

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    Hi Mini

    Glad you enjoyed it, it certainly is "food for thought" lol!
     
  5. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

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  6. Happe

    Happe escaping the fat

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    Here's my thought for the day;

    Light mayonaise is like masturbation- it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfullfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face first into a big ass jar of the real stuff.:D
     
  7. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

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  8. Eclipse

    Eclipse Gold Member

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    Ooh
     
  9. Happe

    Happe escaping the fat

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    Can you tell im not getting any??
     
  10. Eclipse

    Eclipse Gold Member

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    What????:confused:

    No mayo - how terrible!!!:eek: :D
     
  11. Happe

    Happe escaping the fat

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    No unfortunately not, mayo is just too many Syns.
     
  12. i'lldoit

    i'lldoit Banned

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    lol :D :D
    xxc
     
  13. Happe

    Happe escaping the fat

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    Todays thought;

    Whoever penned the phrase "being thin tastes better than anything tastes" should be forced to eat nothing but rice cakes for all eternity.:D
     
  14. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

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  15. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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    LMAO Happe
     
  16. Keeliewheeliebin

    Keeliewheeliebin biker babe!

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    My thought for the day....

    Never hold your farts in.
    They travel up your spine, into your brain,
    that is where shitty ideas come from!!!
     
  17. Libbie

    Libbie Silver Member

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    Greart one babe.
    my hubbie will love that one
    {{{HUGS}}}
     
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