'Tis the season for Lapsing . . .

bekimo

Fighting Demons....
Fa la la la la . . . well you know the rest!!

Anyway, my brother left something in a shiny purple wrapper in the fridge. And I finished it off!! How bad is that?

:break_diet:

Anyway, I am now off for a whole weekend of my mates' drunken debauchery and I don't know if I am strong enough to get through it without turning my minor lapse into a major lapse.

Here goes nothing......

:cry::cry::cry:

B x
 
chin up hun..put it behind u and move on. dont ruin ur hard work for nothing, specially when u feel like falling just thing of how bad ur feeling now.
i was told to pour washing up liquid on left overs etc that i thought id eat..now i know u cant do it with ur friends but do it in ur head!

xxxx
 
Beki, you ARE trong enough to not lapse again - you have been so excoted and happy about your total loss that you KNOW you are doing the right thing. Please hang in there and remember the fun you had without lapsing a few weeks ago. xxx
 
Awww Beks, I feel the same. Something purple and shiny got me tonight... after yesterday I was determined not to go again, but a small fingernail's worth seemed to find it's way to my mouth! What the bl**dy hell is going on!! I'm now about to get ready for the party and I'm dreading it. Tomorrow morning I'm clearing my house of everything- locking the door, drinking soup and reading my foundation book again to get on track.... even with this in mind... I really don't want to lapse again tonight... and don't think I will, in front of all my friends - I'd feel too humiliated. :(

Good luck sexy xxx
 
What happened at the Weekend!!!

OMG!! Honestly, the lengths I go to! So I had this horrible demonic voice in my head on Friday telling me "oh well you had the purple shiny thing, you may as well go all out this weekend"...

But I will not be beaten by stupid voice. Especially as the reaction I got off my mate was just amazing! There she was, on the balcony of her flat screaming at me!! Was sooo funny!!

Anyway I have eternally scratched off Friday as a 'bad day'. And in order for me not to succomb to anymore temptation in the form of f**d for the whole weekend, I went and got my tongue pierced! :eek: (little extreme I know!) So even if I wanted to, I can't eat a damn thing. And because it is hard to swallow it's getting me into a "little and often" pattern with the water!

I had a fantastic night last night. Got too much attention (including a marriage request from some random!?!) and had to look after drunken idiot friends. Fabulous!

All is good!

Thanks for all the hugs though people. Much appreciated!!

B x
 
Glad your feeling better and had a good weekend.
Tongue pierced that does make me feel queezy!!!!!!! good anti-lapse device though lol!
 
Lol I remember when i got my tongue done, would def help!

Good on you :D

xXx
 
hey beks glad to hear you had a good weekend!
i am contemplating re-piercing my lip over christmas, a little present to myself and should help put me off wanting to eat- already got my tongue done
congrats on the proposal (lucky you werent drinking or you may have come back as mrs!!)
ella
x
 
OK, so here's the proof!!

Excuse the Mistletoe antenae- this was taken while we were getting ready to go out last night! :D

B x

n643547135_1607938_4291.jpg
 
Well done Beki

A bit extreme to have your tongue pierced!
I think i need my mouth sewn up!
Have a good week.
 
I'm thinking about having my lip re-done too vintella. I took it out thinking it wasn't very mummy like but now that I feel more like me again I want it back!

Fab pic bekimo xXx
 
Wow - that looks wicked Beks. I might have to do the same - I need to do something to break this cycle... I'm really not doing very well here - might disappear off the radar for a bit - need to get my head straight and feel too guilty seeing how well everyone is doing.

I've come down with this evil bug - straight on the back of my little lapse and that age old 'feed a cold' thing seems to be in force... the only thing I've wanted to do is eat. I've tried doing funny things with shakes, and lying in the bath for ages to ignore the voices - but I've just blown it again. I am going to drug myself up and go to sleep.

Will hopefully get my head back in the right place and be back on here soon - I am just too disappointed in myself for words, and my ridiculously sore head, runny nose and scratchy tickly throat/cough are not helping me and my woeful self pity. Feel cack.

Night hun x
 
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