Twinkle's journey to skinnyville...

Hey Shanny (& everyone else reading) I had chicken for dinner, and some tomato and onion salsa but the naughty bit - I'm on my third glass of wine and it is only just numbing the pain...

I have a really painful haemorrhoid (piles) which is the size of a grape and I cant sit down :( I have used the wine as a painkiller and had a mouthful of straight rum too, it is soooooooooo painful I feel sick with it.

Not going to bother about this weekend now, I will eat if I need to, I am going to drink more alcohol. It is inevitable with the pain :( not an excuse just the way it is. I will start back to normal on Monday, see my cdc on Tuesday. I have 4 months to lose a stone so not to worry for the weekend, I will enjoy it with my family.

xx
Thanks for reading and sorry for falling off the wagon :( any of you that I was an inspiration to, I promise to try harder next week x
 
Heey...to my lovely twinkle yep enjoy ure weekend with your family i say... Im back on the wagon from tomorrow now lol.!

Don't get toooo drunk hun lol.
I lost 3 lbs today which isnt bad really.! xx
 
Yaaaaaaaay well done on 3lbs loss Shanny :)

Well I did have a lovely weekend with my family, I stuck to my porridge for breakfast and bar for lunch and then had a dinner with the family apart from Saturday evening when Jamie and I went out for dinner with friends, I had pork with barbecue sauce and cheese on top with chips and salad - and I only managed to eat half of it, I took the cheese off the top and scraped most of the barbecue sauce off the pork (but I did dip a few chips in hehe) then Jamie finished it off for me lol, and I ate his salad!!! He

Yesterday we went to the races which was great, only backed one winner and came out at a loss lol but it was good fun, then we had a lovely roast dinner and I have realised that I am still greedy, I could have easily eaten more than I did just because it was so yummy, I had to force myself to stop which was quite liberating that I could, but still an issue that I have to address...

Scales this morning showed 11 stone 7lbs which as my weigh in day is tomorrow is a STS, something that to be honest I am happy with as my glycogen stores will be full now, which leaves me with a dilemma, should I go back to ss+/810 or move on to 1000 for my last 14lbs to lose? Considering I am not in ketosis I would have to get myself back into it whereas if I move to 1000 now, I wont have that problem, the problem I will have is the choices on the 1000 plan. I am wheat and lactose intolerant, the amount in the cd products doesn't affect me but a slice of bread would have me keeled over with stomach pain. I have lactose free milk so that's fine and I have spelt flour bread so that option is ok, I wouldn't be able to have a lot of the options on the list though and some of the recipe's look yuck lol!

How do you get around it? My cdc is ok but she didn't seem sure last time I asked her, maybe she'll have more answers tomorrow as she's just been on a cambridge refresher course and she is going to have a new cambridge weight care booklet for me. I'm seeing her at 9.30am so hopefully I can take it from there! Tonight I'm gonna have some chicken and a bit of veg I think...

Right best get on with some work lol!!!

Stacey
(slowly getting my wings back lol)
 
hey babe, glad you had a fab weekend you deserve it.

How is your botty today?

charlie xx
 
forget the weekend. i have a friend who has 3 days off a week and does cd 4 days a week and she does it to maintain really. sometimes she also drops a pound so dont worry if you had food this weekend. you have still doe fab.

good luck for this week.
 
Hey Charlie, thanks hun :) still ouch unfortunately, getting better with the cream but slowly! The things the body puts us thru eh! Hope you had a good weekend hun xx

Leeds - WELL DONE on your 5lbs loss, good on you :) dunno how your mate does it for 4 days a week, its all or nothing for me, I think whats the point of doing any 'diet' unless you do it properly and lose weight, I felt a bit guilty for having the weekend 'off' but to be honest my food choices have been ok and it has only been the evening meal, also coming out of ketosis puts you on 3-5lbs in glycogen so in reality having sts and put back my glycogen stores its kinda a loss of 3-5lbs but without noticing, that makes no sense but it does hehe, hopefully inch loss will show the true picture :) will measure in the morning and let you know...

xx
 
Hi Twinkle.. Hope things are better today and you did well with your weekend re STS.. and yes, I agree with the real loss too. Next week will give you that too in lb's. x
 
Hey everyone, feeling slightly bleugh this morning, shouldn't have finished the whole bottle of wine but I needed it, shan't be repeating it tonight tho! Still feeling a bit tearful, trying to keep it in as I'm at work, I did get offered the day off but to be honest I needed the distraction.

My lovely boss left me some daffodils on the desk which was sweet of her, I've got them in a vase on the desk and they look lovely, makes me smile.

I've just booked our train tickets to take me and the 3 kids to the funeral next week, then Jamie will join us on Thursday and we'll travel home together, bit sad that he can't be with me but he needs to work, he may be getting made redundant on Weds or being offered alternate employment so he has to be there really, and at least I will see him on the Thursday.

Although I had a bottle of wine yesterday, I didn't have an awful lot of food so need to get back on the ball today, I have so far had strawberries for breakfast, a cd soup mid morning and some green salad leaves. Gonna have my bar in a couple of hours then dinner later with Jamie and the kids.

xx
Stacey
 
Sending you massive hugs petal.

Glad Jamie is coming down on Thurs, but it is a shame he can't be there for you on Weds. I will be with you in thought hun.

Hope you can get back on track with the diet hun, but is totally understandable if you can't at the moment.

Keep strong, but cry if you need to.

Charlie xx
 
Just a quickie today, still feeling totally numb and not really functioning properly, I came to work yesterday for a distraction and started stock checking for something to do, I ended up telling a few customers what had happened and why I was having problems adding up etc because I was getting funny looks, I even tried to charge a customers card with £79,900 instead of £7.99 oops! Luckily he saw the funny side as I made the transaction void.

I've told the kids that we are going up to their grandparents house and gave them a choice about the funeral but they don't want to come, I'm relieved really, means I can deal with myself and not have to look after them, selfish of me but hey. They have taken it quite well really, probably because they didn't know her very well as we live 300 miles away, they only see my grandparents about 4-5 times a year for a couple of hours at a time.

Diet - well what a laugh, good job I have a sense of humour! Yesterday I weighed myself 100 grams of strawberries for my 150 calorie breakfast to go with my cd meal... it was only this morning that I realised 100 grams only gives you 27 calories duh, so I got some more fruit from the shop this morning lol, I'm finding 1000 calories hard, I feel like I'm constantly eating, the fruit has taken me all morning to get thru and now its nearly lunch time so supposedly salad leaves and cd meal but I haven't got any salad leaves so its just gonna be my bar then I have some fish for dinner with a bit of rice and egg (kedgerie hehe, my variation of a 400 kcal meal!) I used some soya cream (low cal) but still reckon it comes under 400kcal, and I'm prob having under 1000 so hopefully will lose next week!

To all the people who say you should follow the plan to the letter blah blah blah, well I think its b*llocks, who actually likes every recipe on the list - well then take into account someone wheat and lactose intolerent, gives me virtually no choice so I have to adapt it and as long as I stay within calories, carbs & protein then I should have no probs! Ok off my high horse now - this was supposed to be a quickie lol

So on that note, I will carry on with my work - more stock checking etc!

xx
Stacey
 
hiya! glad to see you seem to be doing ok(ish). dont worry about the plan, you are doing brilliant. i dont follow cd properly at all, never have, and never will (sadly) but i'm getting there in my own slow way. chin up hun and my best wishes for the funeral.
 
Hi there petal,
Laughed when I read what you charged one of the customers, bet he was suprised. Totally understand how easily it is to get distracted when you are grieving, is perfectly normal.

Don't feel selfish about being pleased the kids aren't going to be there, there is no need. It will be good to give yourself time to grieve and not have to put on a brave face for the little people. Kids cope amazingly well with death and dying (I work in Palliative Care), they are able to bounce back very quickly and even more so when they don't really know the person. I don't know what age your children are, but don't be suprised if they suddenly start asking questions out of the blue. My gran died when my daughter was 3 and straight after the funeral (she was there) she started asking about what happens to the body etc after someone dies. Is really hard to answer questions like that when you are grieving, but it can help make the grieving process easier too. Hope this makes sense, am waffling somewhat sorry.

All I am trying to say is take care hun and remember that we are here for you if you need to release. Stuff sticking to plan 100%, you are doing fab as you are - keep going if you can.

Charlie xx
 
Aww thanks for the support guys, makes me feel so much better :) I'm having a better day today, slowly coming to terms with things.

Diet is still difficult lol, not sure wine is included in the plan under my fluid allowance hehe it should be!!! Scales are showing a 3lb loss so far this week which I think is because I have been having trouble eating, my mum said she ate chocolate as it was the only thing she could stomach last week when we found out! I am eating little and often which seems to be the only way I can get thru my food allowances, although this morning all I had was my porridge and a plum, lunch is salad (with tomatoes, cant have salad without them) and dinner is going to be chicken something lol!!!

Leeds, thanks, I think our own way is best cos we know best lol!

Charlie, kids are 9, 7 & 4 and have been asking questions already, like where does the body go now before it gets burnt (I tried to explain cremation, so kids now refer to it as getting burnt oops) death is really hard to explain to kids, I can reply now without getting upset, its taken a few days for the lump in my throat to go when I talk about it so if the kids ask now they get straight answers!

I didn't update my diary yesterday as I totally blitzed the house, hoovered everywhere - I was knackered! Then I got in a nice hot relaxing bath and read my book for an hour!!! It was just what I needed and when Jamie got home I was nice and refreshed and had dinner on the table :) home made leek and potato soup yum, they all had bread, I didn't! Then we settled down for the evening and I was asleep on my beanbag at 10pm!!!

Hope everyone has lovely Saturdays...

xx
Stacey
 
Morning all, just a quickie to say hi & bye for now, I'm off to my mother in law's house tomorrow and we are staying for a few days so prob not be on here for a while!

xx
Stacey
 
Thinking of you hun xx
 
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