Unsupportive boyfriend

hurleymurley

hurleymurley

Full Member
I've been with my other half for a year and 8 months and he's never been encouraging with my weight loss attempts. At one point he tried to force me to eat pizza until I burst into tears.

Now I'm doing really well and sticking to it, I really think he wants me to stay fat.

I have 6 st to go before my BMI gets to 25 but every time I get an award he says 'so, you're going to stop now are you?'

This week I txted him my weight loss from group and he replied 'they're getting their money's worth out of you'.

Am I just being paranoid or is he just being a git?
 
No.....I think he's being a git.

Sit him down. Explain very calmly in small easily understood words that THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. With his help or without it. You are going to make these changes for YOU. He can either put up or shut up.

Forcing pizza on you till you cry?? I'm sorry if it's a bit blunt but......what an A**HOLE. I know exactly where I'd recommend you shove his pizza next time!!!

Sometimes its scary for people when their partner loses weight and gains confidence etc but that does NOT excuse bullying behaviour like he is displaying. I'd try and reassure him that you'll still love him whether your big or little but you WILL NOT love him if he's turned into a petty smallminded bully.
 
hurleymurley said:
I've been with my other half for a year and 8 months and he's never been encouraging with my weight loss attempts. At one point he tried to force me to eat pizza until I burst into tears.

Now I'm doing really well and sticking to it, I really think he wants me to stay fat.

I have 6 st to go before my BMI gets to 25 but every time I get an award he says 'so, you're going to stop now are you?'

This week I txted him my weight loss from group and he replied 'they're getting their money's worth out of you'.

Am I just being paranoid or is he just being a git?
Click to expand...

Sounds like he's being a git! Possibly because of his own insecurities? Worried about his own weight maybe or about you changing and why you want to change? Maybe he thinks you will find someone else etc
Though it should be obvious that you are probably doing it for health reasons and yourself have you discussed it with him properly and explained it all maybe that would help both of you?
 
He is being a git. And a bully. No-one should try to force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Don't tell him when you get an award, don't text him when you have a loss. Don't tell him anything at all. There's no point if he is just going to be nasty about it.
 
I did tell him that I needed support from him and he was ok for a while. My mum was diagnosed with diabetes the same day I joined SW and I told him apart from anything I want to cut my risk factors.

I started to say how much more I have to lose before I'm low risk and he said 'don't tell me a number, it's making me angry'.

He is overweight himself so maybe that has something to do with it, either way you're all right, he really is being an ar*ehole isn't he.

Just lately all I keep thinking is why am with him if he doesn't make me happy. I've clearly got some serious thinking to do!
 
I suggest you find the nearest kerb to kick him to, & tell him to take his bloody pizza with him. You are not being paranoid, as he IS being a git.
 
Or tell him he ain't getting with your body till its a size 12! Betcha he gets supportive then!!!!
 
My boyfriend is the same and I think it's because I now weigh less than him and he doesn't like it! I think you should calmly explain to him that you're doing it for yourself, your health and say if he loves you he should WANT you to be healthy!
 
Ohh he is being an utter goit! Seriously wtf, a man has so many insecurities that he tries to push them on his other half... urmm that boy needs a good talking to! Also remember you are doing this for the sake of your wellbeing and happiness and if he cant see that then balls to him... Sorry for the mini rant but my ex was like this at times...
 
Shirleen said:
Or tell him he ain't getting with your body till its a size 12! Betcha he gets supportive then!!!!
Click to expand...

Love it :D
 
Sounds like a bit of a git but also maybe paranoid that if you get skinny you'll go off with someone else? We are have fears like that I guess and if he overweight himself as well it would only add to that.

Maybe just don't involve him for a while and just share your successes with us on the forum? I hated it when my OH lost loads of weight and we weighed the same for a while (I have overtaken him now) but I used to feel secretly jealous if he lost and I didn't.

Chin up, you're doing fab and changing your life for the better xxx
 
Git definitely! Why bother sharing with him, he doesn't help on your journey. I only tell people I can trust to be on my side. It took me ages before I told my OH and that was only because he was looking for me one day when I was at a meeting. I wouldn't lie about it but I have told him that I refuse to discuss it cos he has been very unsupportive in the past. Usually it's the "oh another diet, wonder how many minutes this one will last" type of thing. so do your thing, find friends who will be supportive and thoughtful if you need them but just leave him out of it.
 
He's being a total idiot. Forcing pizza on you is ridiculous and the fact that he would keep pushing it at you and trying to get you to eat it to the point that he made you cry actually disgusts me. He should love you anyway you are, whether heavier or slimmer.

I do agree with the other poster though who said that maybe he feels insecure. I think you need to sit him down and have it out with him. If he doesn't understand why you are wanting to loose weight and he keeps being an idiot, I'd kick him to the curb.
 
I have many more?

This just seemed the most apt description.

Next time he says ' So, are you going to stop now? ' say ' yes, just as soon as you stop drivelling on you boring b astard.'

Stop telling him about your achievements as he is obviously not interested in sharing them. Share with a friend instead. You don't need his approval.
 
Twatbadger is the best word ever!

He came round yesterday and said he was going to buy me some sausages but didn't have the money on him. He was shocked when I was pleased.

They might have been posh sausages from an award winning butcher but god knows what the Syns would have been. They don't come with nutritional information and they had cheese in them for god's sake!

A bit of sabotage methinks...

Anyway he's away til Tuesday so it gives me time to figure out how I'm going to explain to him how much of an ar*e he's been and what I need him to do. If he doesn't buck up his ideas I won't bother sharing with him. My work colleagues have been amazingly supportive so I will tell them instead.

Alternatively I will just direct him to this thread and see how that goes!
 
Ooh just seen a tweet by Lorraine pascale which seemed apt in this thread- "people too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours". If he says anything just say that to him then see what he thinks!!!
 
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