Unsupportive friends

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Caramelle, 27 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. Caramelle

    Caramelle Full Member

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    Have ever any of you found that friends or family can sometimes be unsupportive towards you and your weight loss journey? I don't know why, but I have one friend in paricular (who is also over-weight) who I feel is being a little bit sharp about it. I keep getting "you don't need to loose weight" when even my doctor says I do, "One bit of this or that won't do you any harm".

    We are going away camping with our families together this weekend, and I'm a bit nervous as I really want to stick with this. But I don't think it's right to make me feel guilty for wanting to change my lifestyle to the better? I'm probably over-reacting!

    Lots of love, Caramelle X X X
     
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  3. F4ye

    F4ye Full Member

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    I think she might be just a little envious of you!
    try hard to keep it an off the record subject of rth eweekend and be proud of your own choice to improve yourself and stick to it as much as you can - good luck! And what fab weather for your trip - have fun!

    F4ye
     
  4. cheekychinchilla

    cheekychinchilla Gold Member

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    I don't think you're overreacting at all. It's awful when people are un-supportive of diet and lifestyle changes. People just don't seem to understand that 'a little bit of this or that' will actually harm your weightloss and that you indeed know what's best for you :)

    All's I can say is, try your best while you're away, but don't be too hard on yourself. Also, try not to react to her comments or anything, just do what you need to do to be happy :) Your friend could be a little jealous that you're doing SW and doesn't know how to cope with you losing weight or eating healthily.
    Anyway, I'm rambling. Enjoy your weekend away and try not to let anyone spoil it-easier said than done, I know!
    Kelly.xx
     
  5. Mel2

    Mel2 Silver Member

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    I had a similar experience last weekend when we went to stay with my mother-in-law. She was doing a big family BBQ and I popped to the shop to get myself some bits for it so I could stick to plan. She thought I was mad and was upset that i wouldn't eat her food and couldn't understand why I wouldn't have a night off. I also happened to mention that I don't really drink anymore since starting SW and got told that a few drinks won't make any difference and that if I didn't let myself go occasionally then I'd never stick to 'my diet' long term!!!! Just couldn't get her to realise that 34 weeks of sticking to plan is what I'd call long term and not a passing fad and that if I've managed to stick to it this long then there's no reason why I can't continue to, especially as it's now a way of life and feels completely normal for me.
     
  6. Mel20

    Mel20 Full Member

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    I have a really unsupportive friend but i just don't talk to her about it anymore. I used to get the whole 'I don't believe in dieting and slimming clubs' and 'its not good for you, its not necessary, all you need is exercise and healthier food.' Theres no explaining to her and she doesn't understand. So i just get on with it cos everyone else is very supportive and i know myself that I am doing well and just think how good it will feel when they start to notice your weight loss :) Like others have said, she sounds a bit jealous, she probably wishes she had the will power and strength to do well too! xxx
     
  7. ThinLizzy

    ThinLizzy Wants to be a yummy mummy

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    People are usually like this because they are overweight themselves like you say your friend is, and she doesnt want you to become slimmer and fitter and happier and everything than her, so wants to try and talk you out of it. Hope the camping trip is okay. Dont feel bullied into coming off plan. xxxx
     
  8. Caramelle

    Caramelle Full Member

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    Thanks for your lovely posts, ladies. I think you're right, she might b jealous! I never thought of it that way, but it would make sense. Although she'd never admit it!! So sorry to hear some of your stories though. Good for you for sticking to it, it can be deflating when you keep getting "For gods sake, one this or that isn't going to hurt"

    Lots of love, Caramelle X X X
     
  9. TeresaTT

    TeresaTT Full Member

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    I'm not far off my target weight but still want to lose about another half stone. I've got to the stage where I'm reluctant to say that I've got more weight to lose as so many people tell me that I should not lose anymore weight. Some are quite forceful about it and insistent despite what I say. So I just say I'm fine tuning now and doing lots of exercise. I used to think it would be great to hear people say you don't need to lose anymore weight but I find it extremely irritating and unsupportive.
     
  10. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    I really think the key is here is NOT explaining yourself- everyone says that they tried to convince people and couldn't but the issue here is that you do not have to explain yourself- why should you?

    If anyone is even slightly confrontational just smile sweetly and say something polite like "I know everyone has different views, but I know you will respect my right to make a choice about my own health" and then walk away. PLEASE do not get into a protracted argument with them because anyone that wants to have a pop at someone losing weight and making healthy choices is basically highlighting their own issues.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. TeresaTT

    TeresaTT Full Member

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    I completely agree, cocktailprincess. I rarely manage to convince people like this and it's just not worth the argument. As you say, we don't have to explain ourselves and I find most people accept me saying that I'm just fine tuning.
     
  12. Cailin Maith

    Cailin Maith Full Member

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    Also agree with all of the above.

    The worst one for me, is my mum who is also very overweight... her fave line is - "oh for Gods sake, there is nothing wrong with you!" Well, actually there is - I feel uncomfortable and horrible and I'm doing this for me.. not for anyone else. But saying this to her is like talking to a wall...

    Hard and all as it is - take no notice of your "friend"... I've learned a hard lesson recently, and that is - you can do without so called friends who are toxic :)
     
  13. Mummy_Helen

    Mummy_Helen Silver Member

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    I had a similar thing a few weeks ago. My 'friend' said she'd rather die eating a big fat curry than live eating rabbit food. No matter what I did to try and explain about SW and how it's not a diet, and that I could eat basically what she could but changing a few things, she didn't seem to hear it. it got me really down at the time, but I do have a lot of people who are supporting me, and I'm hoping to get my stone sticker tomorrow, which will be 1st in 5 weeks, which I think is pretty good, and don't care what she thinks now. When we talk, I just don't mention SW now. (luckily she is from back home, and we only speak on the phone about once a month).
     
  14. Queenie24

    Queenie24 Full Member

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    It sounds really difficult, especially the camping trip together. Do your best, in regards to your eating choices and perhaps say to her that you hear what she's saying, but sticking to SW is really important to you and you would like if she could support you. If she doesn't feel that she can, perhaps you can make a pact that you don't discuss it.

    Hope you can work through this with your friend.

    Q
     
  15. avisk

    avisk xx

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    Everyone here should listen to Cocktailprincess! :superwoman:
     
  16. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    God- I would be SO tempted to say "That's fine, because if you carry on, you will get your wish"

    lol
     
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