Very bad day emotionally

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by supermum, 26 April 2007 Social URL.

  1. supermum

    supermum Full Member

    Hi all

    I am having a hard time at work - I only work part time but found out by accident tht my team are not happy with my magmt - that I am not in enough etc etc. It has really thrown me and I realise that usually I would hide my emotinons by stuffing myself with food I have been so tempted today but feel very emoional - when on abstinence it was easy not to eat because those were the rules but now I don't feel that rules can stop me. I won't eat but feel very upset that I can't control my emotions or hide them !

    I am so close to tears - just don't know how to handle it - I am not in work until Monday and I can't talk about it becasue I shouldn't have fo-und out !
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  3. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

    Goal Weight:
    measure up
    How did you find this out, are you sure its not just someone telling places can be so bluddy bitchy....!
    Im sure you can get it sorted.
  4. HelenG

    HelenG Member

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    Dashed good question Jeeves!
    Hi Supermum,

    :cry: Sorry to hear your news. It's never easy to hear bad things about yourself at any time:sigh:

    Can I ask how you discovered this information if you are 'not supposed to know'. It could be that things are not as bad as they first seem - maybe your finding out now will give you time to consider how to change opinions, or it could be that one or two of your team are just looking for reasons to explain their own shortcomings.

    I hope this post does not come across as uncaring - I'm not good with words & I often tend to cut things down to the least amount of words necessary which actually can seem really rude. What I'm trying to say is that maybe you have been given the opportunity to 'discover' this information so that you can work with people to change their attitudes without them actually having to 'make it official' - does that make sense?

    :hug99: :hug99: Big hugs anyway
  5. Just Do It

    Just Do It Full Member

    Current Weight:
    SuperMum, poor you, it's really hard working part time - I do too and I work from home so when I go in to the office I get loads of awful comments.

    Over the years some people have been really cutting and nasty.

    I've come to the conclusion that they forget I get paid half of what they do and that when I am not there I am not on holiday.

    I'm sure you work harder than them cos you always seem to have to do a full time job in half the hours.

    If you are anything like me then you are part time to have a balance with your family life, so you your SuperMum title is right.

    You are having to do two hard jobs and you are doing them both and doing LL. Well done you. Have confidence in yourself.
  6. supermum

    supermum Full Member

    Hi all Thanks for your comments - unfortunatley I saw an email conversation that I shouldn't have !! So I have hard evidence. I think it is the anticpation of talking to my boss about it next week.

    Just need to get on with it I suppose
  7. AngieBabie

    AngieBabie Silver Member

    Lighter Life/Cambridge
    I would definately talk to your boss about the whole situation and ask why your team seem unhappy about your management of them. Some people just like to gripe and moan and have no real grounds for making complaint, I work in nursing and I find that we women tend to be able to do this with flair on times. If they have grounds to say this then you can all work together to sort things out, if there are no grounds then you need to talk to them and see why they are unhappy. As for the LL side of life, stick to it! Stuffing will not make the feelings go away in the long run, its so easy to find comfort in our food, but it only helps temporarily. Stay strong and stay positive about all of your achievements thus far. Angela x :hug99:
  8. chunkychicken

    chunkychicken Full Member

    Poor you supermum

    I hate that feeling - feels like you have swallowed lead doesn't it - or been kicked in the stomach. Its awful - my heart goes out to you.

    Please try to put this in perspective - as a manager, the buck invariably stops with you... so if people are unhappy for any reason at all (be it genuinely your fault or not!) you make a likely scapegoat for all ills.

    Also, if it helps.. try to remember that work is work and home is home. You must learn to separate the two or you find that it starts to creep too far under your skin. They don't know you really, they don't understand you at all and they certainly have no right to pass judgement. So pick yourself up, straighten your posture and don't let the B*****ds grind you down. You are a strong and powerful woman remember ? - just look at your acheivements with LL so far. Never let people get you on the wrong foot - meet them head on and force them into a frank adult discussion instead of childish bitching sessions - I bet you will find their reasons for such horrible comments are groundless and based on Full time vs Part time jealousy as Just Do It said.

    Chin up babe - we are all behind you. Failing that - tell me who they are and I will Duff em up for you.

    Lots of Love Laura
  9. Mollyzx

    Mollyzx Member

    Lighter Life
    oh, sorry you're feeling down.
    I know the feeling at work and its horribel BUT even though its a hard thing to do you WILL feel better once you spoke to your line manager. Even if its good or bad... its work through-able and the air will be clear.

    Don't tie yourself up in knots too much (easier said than done) but try not to as you might look back ont his next week and wonder why you were so worried.

    Depends what the team is like that you manage but if its anything like some of the teams I have worked in or managed you always get a trouble maker/moaner who is out to get anyone who they think has a better deal than them (even if they don't)

    Chin up honey and yeah.. I'm with Laura... I want names and addresses and we'll go and 'sort them out'...... said in a Phil MItchell menacing type way... :mad: :mad: :mad:
  10. angelxx

    angelxx Full Member

    lighter life
    :psiholog: Oh Supermum, i am so sorry you are feeling down, please think of you words of wisdom to me yesterday, it works honest i feel more in control today!thanks to you!
    you to by the sounds of it are working with children, it just winds you up when people are like this and it certainly isnt nice to be on the receiving end either, please don't let them get through to you they are not worth it they are work colleagues and nothing more, they are unimportant! YOU are important and YOUR FAMILY are important and we like you so stuff them!! sending hugs:grouphugg:angelxx
  11. supermum

    supermum Full Member

    Thanks all - I think half the reason for me feeling so bad is having to try and find a new way to deal with it all emotionally - I can't hide anymore and I have to open up and that is really difficult for me. I can't stand criticism and tend to ignore it rather than take it on the chin and deal with it which is waht I am going to have to do. The other problem is that I am finally admitting that my job is too much - I have known about it forever but never felt able to address it and have been thinking about it for ages but now I have to do it. When I signed up to LL my Doctor said that it wouldn't just change my waist line and I abeginning to think he was right.

    Thanks so much for all of your kind thoughts - it really does help.
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