Vive la resistance

[Hairyfish]

Right well this is more of a self affirming thread of the things that I will be resisting from now on. There will be talk of food (how else can I mention what I resisted). But I want a log of all the things I have turned away from so that I can tot it up when I get to my target and thing of what could have been.

So as they say look away now if you dont want to know the result.#

PS. I will maintain this until midday tuesday 31st August, then I am away for back to back work things where I will be without the web til 10th sept. So please do not think that lack of posting means Ive fallen off.

 

[Hairyfish]

So here goes:

Reason for doing this is that I have just had to force myself to leave a room at coffee where there were cakes and pastries going round. Loads of em, danishes, chocolate roll, macaroons, cookies, muffins, teacakes. it is always like this at my work. we have a cake board and fortunately we have 60 people who use the room and each week there are guaranteed birthdays, pregnancies, births, engagements, weddings etc etc etc etc etc. and always someone bring something in. if not there is a pack of whatever asda has on offer this week (quite often maryland cookies).

I will also post if and when I give in to my urge:

Anyway may as we recap last night whilst I remember:

OH left over pasta salad. Very little pasta left, but it was the peppers, tomato, cucumber and the biggy olives that tempted me.

I dragged myself away from Ben and Jerrys Phish food. OH was going at it with a spoon after tea and I just wanted to dive in. didnt but wanted to.

Cup of tea with milk. Was chatting with my grandparents and they were rabbitting how it was impossible to have a good proper cuppa without milk, constant talk all most almost persuaded me to one.

A pear and an orange. I love my fruit always have, and I still find it hard not to eat fruit. I miss it the most out of anything else. But I know if I do I will just tumble.

Anyway, everytime I resist I will be on here recording it for myself. If I fail myself, I will tell this diary.

come on FF. get back on track.

 

[lucy4loop]

YOU WILL NOT FAIL!!!!! You are choosing not to have these things At The Moment, when the time comes you will taste these things again, they will always be around. Your positive decisions are making you a fitter healthier person, one that knows that you will be able to have a completely balanced diet, everything included, when you are at the weight/size YOU choose to be. Oops sorry, preach over

 

[Hairyfish]

Thanks lucy.

im being a bit of a parent state to myself saying "not now, later though". and I think thats A bad attitude to have as I could be heading for a fall.
I am glad that I am recording my ability to say no. If I had done this from day one I would now be looking ta nearly 4 months of things that I had turned down and spurred me on. cuddawuddashudda

 

[carrieclaus]

good idea ff

today i have resisted a cheese n ham toastie, after i picked my 4yr old up from school he told me he would like a cheese n ham toastie for lunch. the smell of the cheese ......... mmmmm. he doesnt eat the crust so when i cut it off the cheese was oozing out but i put it straight in2 the wheelie bin!! the crust that is not the toastie... lol

i dont think i will fall off the ll wagon but its little things like that, that keep me going... who would have thought i could actually say no to leftovers? haha xx

 

[Hairyfish]

well last night as per usual I cooked for the misses.

I did a homemade chilli and garlic burger using 5% fat mince and no fat chips. And for tonight I used up the rest of the mince to make chilli con carne. Im not bragging, but I love cooking, and I think im pretty good at it and I love these simple cheap dishes (and healthy to boot considering they are real trigger type foods). Anyway resisted in picking at OH left over. she left a bot of burger and her wholemeal roll, 2 chips and some of the salad. the chilli well, that was easy as its hers for today.

I never understood how she can leave 2 chips or a bite of a burger. it is just a bite, I mean how full can you be that another mouthfull will kill you. BUT she is a size 10 and has a BMI of under 21. Still dont see how she can eat and stop. I will need to learn from her.


So far nothing to resist today other than the smells of a bacon buttie van as i cycled through the industrial estate. wasnt that hard to resist, smelt greasy.....do miss a bacon buttie, but not when of them.

coffee in not long time, wonder what we'll have on offer today. Better not be anything too good.

 

[Natasha84x]

OMG that dinner sounds lush.. do you want to cook for me! haha.. well done. i was naughty and had a few prawns yesterday but that was the first and last time i am going to do that! i have 4 weeks of abstinence left.. I CAN do it : ) you dont have a lot left to loose.. surely your nearly finished aswell?

 

[Hairyfish]

well today there is chocolate cake, brownies and shortbread on offer. Yet no one round here is as fat as me. dont get it.

 

[Hairyfish]

OMG that dinner sounds lush.. do you want to cook for me! haha.. well done. i was naughty and had a few prawns yesterday but that was the first and last time i am going to do that! i have 4 weeks of abstinence left.. I CAN do it : ) you dont have a lot left to loose.. surely your nearly finished aswell?

hay Nat, dont think I would be allowed to pop round yours and cook, 'er in doors might not be too pleased.

Dont beat yourself up, ive fallen off few times now. made it trhough 12 weeks ok, but last few bordem in packs has made me stray.

In terms of time, hoping to get to my original goal of 3st loss this week. hope I do, and then RTM. after management I really want to get another stone off but through healthy weight management and eating over a long long period of time. Im thinking maintainance is all well and good, but something like slimming world mentality (like OH does) is the best way to maintain. maybe its not in the spirit of LL, but I want to eat, I like to eat, but I want to eat healthy foods and less of it. I think doing LL has taken away food and made me crave things that normally would not enter my head.

anyways, cheers for popping in and reading me talk abouit food

 

[Natasha84x]

haha.. yeah i think im going to maintain with WW.. Good luck for your 3st... i like to talk about food so i'll keep reading! haha

 

[Hairyfish]

well i missed coffee this morning so dont know what was there.

last night i didnt eat anything as i got in very late from work and was not tempted or exposed to anything.

although i really need a whisky when i get on due to being so uptight, i just went straight to bed and got a terrible nights sleep. Im still not sure how I can have alternate methods to calming down from stress as a shower walk etc doesnt help, i genuinely need that slowing down of the heart rate and loosing of the chest and brain that only booze can give (well im sure heroine does the same, but im not suggesting that as a calorie nuetral option).

almost lunch time and ill avoid the canteen area na djust have my mug o soup at my desk.

lets hope this weekend is an easyone.

 

[muppetgirly]

Sounds like you are doing so well. I'm have just completed day one (off to bed in a mo) and forced myself around asda past all the cakes. I just hope I can do that in a few weeks!!

 

[Hairyfish]

cheers MG.

well had a terrible weekend food wise.

Had a great weekend though.

Well as stated above im going away for a fortnight for work, well yesterday the OH really wanted to do something together. So we Took a drive to the big city (Peterborough, well big for the likes of us) We had a lovely day shopping, cinema, and dun dun derrrrrrr, a meal. I had a chicken salad (no dressing) and a coke zero. I really enjoyed it but because I said above all else I would buy my clothes when I was at a happy weight, well I bought a whole new wardrobe yesterday and I am happy. I got in to XL size (which I found out is the most common size in the UK) and 34” and 36” trousers. I am so pleased. I am going off to move in to management today. I am really happy with where I am both with my weight, how I look and how I feel. I have missed the social aspects of food. I think I have learnt how to handle some urges, I think the day to day Im fine. But I do need that social.
I know I have learnt as on Saturday I met my oldest friend from School he was back from the a tour of service and I met him in the pub, whilst everyone else was boozing I sat with a coffees and water…I did bend on a diet coke, but I did not down the 40 odd units of alcohol like the rest of the gang. I did feel left out, I felt like I was letting him down, I mean this guy witnessed death and destruction and was glad to be home and alive with his friends and family, and want to enjoy our company. He did say I looked good, but he did try and push a couple of beers on me, I refused, but promised I would have a drink before he goes off again…lets just hope its somewhere nice like Cyprus or drug interception in the Caribbean and not a war zone, then I can feel less guilty that I might not see him again, and can curb the booze.

Anyway, I know it sounds like Im quitting. Im not, I just want to learn to have a normal life around food, ie eating. I will be doing rtm. I know I will put on. I know I doubt I’ll reach 14 stone like I wanted anytime soon. I will though, mark my words because I am stubborn and already thrown out my size 44” and xxxls so ive no choice.

Sorry if this sounds bad, I am really happy. I have lost over 4.5stone. I feel great, and I just need to get my head towards being normal.

I will not forget total, it has given me such an opportunity to change my life. I am in a position where I am happy with my activity. I now need to sort my intake, management for me.

So here I go on the next steps.

Good luck everyone else with their remainder of the journey towards happiness.

 

[lucy4loop]

That's great news Flex - you sound at peace! All the best to you with the management.
A new wardrobe - me, jealous?

 

[Minerva]

Question. Why do you feel socially "inadequate" if you don't have a drink? Why would that let anyone down if you don't - while they do? Surely isn't the point to SEE the person and HAVE A CHAT - not get boozey, lightheaded /and/or drunk together?

Think about it. It's a really stupid social "norm" imposed from an early age - but at the core of it, that expectation serves no purpose. You should not feel ashamed or guilty about it. Why does it matter so much - to your self-esteem of WHAT beverage you chose to drink in a certain situation?


Sorry, I just had to put it out there - because in the long term - this is the exact feeling that usually drives us to overeat or overdrink at social events, gatherings and celebrations. (Think Birthdays/ Barbeques/ or even family dinners where it'd be "rude" not to finish what your Auntie served/cooked "especially" for you).

Keep strong, it's all worth it. Question tradition and make your own 'new' traditions. True maintenance after LL is actually changing a hell of a lot of these old habits - it's a whole new lifestyle (look at SplendaBlenda - when she goes to gatherings she does not allow herself to be pressured into eating/drinking things that she doesn't feel are beneficial: i.e. heavy carbs). These traditions and expectations are what got us in the mess in the first place.

Take care of yourself, first and most of all.
x

 

[hanmac]

Hey FF,
Well done, it sounds like you've made a really confident decision, you've done so well and am sure this will continue in the future! You sound really happy and I guess when it's time to move to RTM you just know. You will have to keep us all updated on your RTM journey! And you should post your before and after foundation photos!

Losing over 4.5 stone is just amazing, you've been a real inspiration for me! Bet you look fab in your new wardrobe

xxx

 

[Natasha84x]

Ahh good luck! I'm sure you will get on great!

 

[Hairyfish]

well last night after the meeting I had it in my head that I was going to go for a meal or something as a celebration. Then I thought why ruine everything? I also picked up some cookies and snacks for OH from supermarket, I felt like tucking in, but didnt as I would have got no pleasure. It did smell good did the cookies, but not as good as seeing how a morbidly obese me became an averaged sized me in the photo on the fridge. I didnt. I had my four packs and nothing else yesterday.



Minerva: Im not sure why I still cling to these traditions. I will have to change that. I am still aiming not to go back to old ways (easier said than done). But normal people do have meals and drinks, I just dont want the habit. As I say, I proved to myself I could go sober on that occasion even though I wanted to drink. I will drink and eat...but only when I want to and I will manage what and when I eat. I will keep you posted. I will keep my resistance diary going for those days when I want that cookie or pint, but dont and also when I do and why I did.

That meal on sunday cost me a lb gain. so thats 3 lb in 2 weeks of dropping out of abstainance. terrible. But now that I can get my hed to something new I will be fine im sure.

Im away for 10 days now, I have my packs with me. Ive taken a few dvd box sets so I can avoid going to the meals and bar, I will avoid the whole conference thing as there is no way I can avoid the full breakfasts in the morning, the evening meals and beers down the bars. Hoping that I have no gains with the introduction of foods the enxt couple of weeks.

we'll see how this pans out. yikes.

If I get web access, I will keep you all posted.