WAKE UP CALL!!! What I have learned in the process of stress

[Blonde Logic]

Well.

I have had a bit of a wake up call yesterday, and so thankful for it.

Since I was made redundant, life got very stressful for one reason or another. Mainly becuase my routine has been upturned, spun around, juggled and toyed with. Half of me is a creature of habit and really thrives in a routine. The other half, very spontaneous and fly by the seat of my pants. But I like to be the one in control of when that happens, and felt out of control.

I know, I made some bad choices withregards to the diet, and at times did eat becuase I was stressed and could not bother to stop and ask myself a lot of questions about why,....etc. I should have, but I didn't. (Oh yeah - not supposed to use the word should ) But - I was conscious the entire time what I was doing. So I entertained a lot of nervous snacking. All my choices were healthy - I did not binge on "naughty foods" - I just had too many healthy foods, for the wrong reasons.

Only last week could I start feeling it, so thats pretty good after nearly 3 months. My scales show me up 4 - 5 pounds....and I tried on a pair of chords for work yesterday and they were tight.

<insert screeching break sound effect here>

I practiced what I so often preach, and I sat down in the mirror and had a hard talk with myself - and scolded myself, and called me a numpty and all that.

And I immediately put my trainers on, grabbed my mp3, and out the door for an hours very brisk walk. And as always, walking makes me think.

I realised, that was not a lapse, that was not failure. That was a moment in life where I ran out of ooomph. BUT - I recognised it. Now, rather then later.

I was feeling a bit panicky, but now, after my chat, I enjoyed my walk and the spring was in my step again, and the desire to push myself harder and faster and further again.

The beauty of all of this is, I now grabbed the reins again. ANd realised - what in the world am I panicking about 4-5 pounds for. I can get rid of them in 2 or 3 weeks if I put my mind to it.

If I managed 256 days without a single morsel or leaf of an herb, or anything - that I lost 132 pounds or so - very nearly one half of my body - why in the world should I panick about a few pounds.

Of course I am still in control! The CBT does work.

I guess the lesson I am trying to share, is I now am fully awake and aware and receptive to my "wake up calls" where before LL, I would have turned a blind eye, suffered silently, and surrendered to bad behaviours.

God - what a GIFT LL has been! AN absolute gift - it is the most precious thing I have. Acceptance and control of my life. It is PRICELESS.

I am feeling really good today, and just want to share with those of you that have doubts or fears about the future....don't.

It is work, mind you - we have to take responsibility and make the effort and accept the bobbles, but you know what? It is WORLDS easier then it ever was before.

Hallejlulah! )never know how to spell that!!)

Ain't it great!!

WE HAVE CONTROL OF OUR LIVES!!!!!

So - my plan, drop the carbs for a bit, upthe exercise, and pick up exactly where I left off!!

:bliss:

Happy days!

xxx

 

[mathswiz]

Thanks for posting this message, BL.

I am really struggling at the moment and this had really helped me.

Don't know why but my motivation cap seems to have fallen off in the last few days.

You're right! You have achieved so much - a few pounds is nothing. Your weight will be back to goal in no time at all!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thanks Lisa!

I want to add to, its scary how easily and seemingly without notice at first, that we slip back into our bad habit!! Evil beggers that they are!!

Looks like you are doing pretty great to - you are zooming in on your goal!! Stick to it!

xx

 

[thin_inside]

Wow what a powerful message BL. You have given me a huge uplift in belief that life can, no, WILL be better after LL.

A shining example - well done on your control.

Thank you so much for sharing these moments with us. xx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thank you!!

I treated myself for getting a grip, by going to my favourite charity shop and got the little dress I am wearing in my sig pic (with leggings! not brave enough to go without!!) , Size 10!!! Also a size 10 skirt, a petite 12 top and a Small Wallis top!!

Woohoo!!! All is SO not lost! hehehe

 

[daisydoll]

love the dress!!!!

i love posts like this BL cos it makes me realise that life after LL is real - and that it can be dealt with.

you'll lose those few pounds easily
daisy x

 

[brumchick]

Great post BL thank you . I have had a Cr**py 2 weeks had a lapse ( my 1st and hopefully last) I have avoided writing on the forum !! durr !! and was messing my own head up good and proper. Then I read your post and eureka! of course I can make choices and be in control. thank you ,thank you , mwah mwah
Ps looking absolutey fab in your pic.

 

[Foxtrot]

Recognition afterwards is the wall. Is it a brick high or 20 bricks high or more?? You saw the first couple of bricks and are stepping over it to carry on your walk on level ground.

I do find it interesting that you still class yourself as on 'the diet'. I would say you're into your healthy eating that will take you on through the rest of your life. I would hate to think that I will be 'dieting' forever. Do you think that will change or are you really still 'on a diet' in your head?

 

[mathswiz]

Thanks Lisa!

I want to add to, its scary how easily and seemingly without notice at first, that we slip back into our bad habit!! Evil beggers that they are!!

Looks like you are doing pretty great to - you are zooming in on your goal!! Stick to it!

xx

Thanks BL! You're a star!

I am 12st now. I don't know why but I can't seem to get my head into believing that. Every time I get to 12st (actually there has only been one time before this!), I panic! God knows why! And the panic causes me to lose it! And I just eat cos I don't know what else to do!

I really need to get my head sorted out. Not having a very good week this week. Feel like old (bad) habits are knocking at my door again.

I'm going to try some hypnosis CDs for weight loss to see if they work for me. Maybe they will get my head back into it?!

Btw I managed to read some of your diary (omg, you can really write!), and I can really identify with your feelings along the way down to goal. I'm sorry about some of the difficult things you have had to face in your past. But it sounds like you're in a good spot right now...slim body, beautiful lady and a great hubbie!

I think we all hope to achieve what you have already achieved, BL! You're such an inspiring lady.

I hope to join you at goal one day....soon?!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Recognition afterwards is the wall. Is it a brick high or 20 bricks high or more?? You saw the first couple of bricks and are stepping over it to carry on your walk on level ground.

I do find it interesting that you still class yourself as on 'the diet'. I would say you're into your healthy eating that will take you on through the rest of your life. I would hate to think that I will be 'dieting' forever. Do you think that will change or are you really still 'on a diet' in your head?

Thanks hon - I like the wall analogy.

Thats a good question. I think when i refer to "my diet", I am now really just referring to what I eat, day to day....but no, I do not still feel i am ON a diet. If that makes sense.

Although, to a degree, I suspect I do at some level, cause I seem to have been on one diet or another my entire life. lol I am uber-aware of what I do each day, and uber-afriad, even still, that one day it will all come undone - thought that fear subsides a little bit day by day. Its just a matter of feeling "Its too good to be true", and as we know, those things usually are...so I am very conscious.

I must admit, it would be nice NOT to have to think so much about it - but for now, its the safer way forward.

Hope that made sense? Good question miss!!

xx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thanks everyone!

Daisy, this is the most my legs have been exposed in over 30 years!!! LOL Thanks for the comment - another Charity shiop find - only £2!

BC - so sorry you've been struggling. I am glad if I helped at all!! Its a tough road - but keep fighting the good fight...you really are doing so well!!

Maths - thank you so much. And thanks for reading my diary. It really should come with a waffle warning! I understand about your hitting a block - mine was never a number in weight, but anytime in the past I tried to lose, I would lose 2 stone and then hit a wall, and foxtrot, this wall was 390,293,398 bricks high. Or so it seemed. I could not pass it. I guess in working through all the sadness and bad stuff that I finally faced - I got stronger. And this time, instead of trying to climb over it I just bashed right straight through it.

Thanks everyone!!

xxxx

 

[Foxtrot]

That makes perfect sense BL. I'm sure one day you will realise that you have not thought of your day's, or several day's, intake as 'your diet' and that will be the day you stand on a huge pile of rubble and plant your flag in the summit.

Just always remember who you lent the sledgehammer to!

 

[Blonde Logic]

That makes perfect sense BL. I'm sure one day you will realise that you have not thought of your day's, or several day's, intake as 'your diet' and that will be the day you stand on a huge pile of rubble and plant your flag in the summit.

Just always remember who you lent the sledgehammer to!

I missed this what with yesterdays news...

I love that description Fox....I really hope one day it won;t have to be such a conscious effort - but I can live with it if it does.

But yeah - I wanna stand on that pile of rubble and do the "Rocky" dance!

 

[Minerva]

Very interesting read BL. Thank you! It rings true, things after LL do calm down in regards to eating, things slip a little (even the healthy indulgence does add up... Glad you caught it in time! Because I did find (observing my OH) that healthy overeating, soon becomes not so healthy, and then it's over-indulgence in everything).

I do find myself having that dialogue in my head all the time, that argument: "Gained 3lbs" ..."Time to throw in the towel" ..."No, it's ONLY 3lbs - it can be attributed to any number of reasons, CALM DOWN" ..."Nooo but it's 3lbs!!!" ..."Yeah in comparison to 120lbs lost it's nothing" ..."Yeah, lets go for a walk, and have a more strict control over the eating" ..."PANIC...PANIC....... ugh can't be asked to panic, everything's ok really" .


... I have to tell the 5yr old inside me off - way too often. It's difficult sometimes!

 

[vanda]

Oh my gosh
I am reading these post with tears running down my face. It brings it home how wonderful it is to finally lose the weight and have control back in your life.
I want to thank everyone who posts so honestly here I am off to the LL info session Saturday and I know I can do it now, I will have blips cos life is not blip proof, but this time they will only be blips.
Am feeling very emotional at the mo but for the right reasons.
Thanks to all

 

[Blonde Logic]

I understand the emotions, completely Vanda, as I am sure we all do. We've all been there, and its quite emotional to begin to believe that you really can change your life....when for so many years all it felt like was hopeless.

And, don't discount yourself just yet - you may not have any blips ont he diet. I didn;t, and there are lots of others that didn't either. And believe you me - it surprised me that i didn;t! i wnet into it with that attitude, but didn't believe I really would manage it, but determination sometimes takes on life of its own!!

Good luck to you hon!!

xx

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Vanda

Don't assume you'll have blips. ONce you get started on LL you will be amazed how quickly you see results and continue to feel motivated to achieve your goal.
Success breeds success. Good luck at the info session. Hope you get a good LL counsellor, it makes a lot of difference I think although many people succeed with just the motivation from their group and the books.Mostly your strength will come from within yourself and how important it is to lose the weight.