Weight loss again

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Hi everyone
I found this forum very inspirational. So many stories and the challenges and successes I've read about are giving me a lot of knowledge and optimism. I have been struggling with my weight for some time now and I decided to do Exante. Thinking maybe keeping a little diary here will really keep my motivation going.
A bit of background... I'm 31. About 6 years ago I decided to lose about 15kg (2.32st). I am 1.62 in height (5.3), started at 65kg (10.23st) and got to 50kg (7.87st) within about 12months or so. It was all calorie counting and progressively increasing my exercise...from barely being able to use a home cross-trainer for 5 minutes to actually running a whole 10k. Then I got divorced, had to move houses. Managed to maintain with going up (or then down) by max 4kg(8.8lb). Then 3 yeara ago other stuff started to happen - insecure fixed term contract jobs (sometimes as low as 6months!), constant job interviews, 2 breakups, finally another job with commuting, finally moving cities and houses (3 times in 3 years), having to live in shared accomodation with little fridge space, little social support from family (just how it is) and my friends left behind in the old city with little possibility to meet new people to befriend for quite a long time. Needless to say a cocktail of instability and little emotional and social support that also led to depression. In this time (starting with the commute) I got into the habit of eating whatever whenever (McDonalds and KFC from train stations), working on the train long into the hours with a pint, then more take aways, pints everyday etc. In total I put on 27kg (4.2 st), the biggest I've been in my life.
I tried to get back into my old routine several times (now, after 3 years of vv bad behaviour) with little to no luck. If anything my knees and joints not just feel knackered and Im just in pain when i try to exercise agai. So that's putting me off it quite a bit. Tried Slimming World for a bit - Id be losing half a pound or max 1 pound then put them back on. The 1 pint a day got transformed to spirits as per their suggestion which did me no good.
I entered a bad relationship with food in terms of portion control, and my appetite seems to have no end. I've entered a bad relationship/habit with alcohol which turned into the prize at the end of the day followed by carby food.
I need something to kick me back in shape. I saw the show on TV related to Exante and I thought I'd give it a go. If 'some food' leads to ALL the food at the moment and feel like I have no control over it...then not having the choice and retraining my urges may be the way out (I hope!!). I feel discouraged and sad about the initial loss I had had, the amount of clothes in size 10 sitting in the loft and the physical fitness I once had. I've turned into an unfit fat blob progressively and I am worried for my future health.
So... Seeing the show on TV I ordered some packs to do the same thing as the participants there. 800cal a day.
Today is day 4. I will say what happened until now, how I found it and what my worries are and will then continue in separate posts on this thread. Any support or encouragement will indeed be appreciated!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 1 Monday 25th June
Start weight: 77.6 (12.22st). Goal 55kg (8.6st)

Using exante 800 plan, go teetotal, increse daily steps, monitor all with fitbit.
My exante box hadn't arrived yet but I just wanted to start. I had an old SlimFast box left. I had 3 shakes in the day, 250gr of watermelon for dinner, an unfortunate 2 lagers. Put me at 1000cals altogether. 11K steps in.

Day 2 - weight 77.3
Okay. Not had the start I wanted. Breakfast 1 SlimFast shake and 1 costa skinny latte as I was on the go. At noon the exante box arrived (hurray!) and i dug in. 1 veggi soup for lunch and another for dinner. A few grams of watermelon to put me on 800cal for the day. 13k steps and 2.5l water.

Day 3 -76.6 kg (12.06st)
Veg soup, one for breakfast and one for lunch.
An unfortunate 2 pints in the afternoon that then I hated myself for.
Did not give in to the munchies and had 1 bean chilli for dinner. 9666 steps and 2l water. A lot of hunger and irritability.

Day 4 (today) - 75.5 kg (11.89st)
As day 3 wasn't that great i spent all day reading all I could find to get my mind in the right place. I need to drop the alcohol altogether and just stick to 800cals. But it's going to be hard.
Today i had 1 bean chilli for breakfast, another one for dinner and veggie soup for lunch. 3l of water and 13k steps.
My head hurts but I don't feel majorly hungry. Have been feeling a bit confused throughout the day but guess it will pass.
I have already said no to people for several social events. There will be 2 in the coming 2 months where I will need to 'find a way' but other than that I should be able to only stick to the exante 800cal plan.
So..my key questions,any thoughts are welcome... i need to go through week 1 to get myself in ketosis. Did I ruin it with the pints yesterday? Could I have even started going on there if i wasn't 100% on exante? Will i reach it on 800 cals? Don't know...i know im still beating myself about it and am worried about the days to come (that I'll fail again..)
On the whole tomorrow is Day 5 (or Day 2 even if I don't count the not-100%- of the starting days. I'd rather though.. It is an adjusting process, right?:/?)

 

[a_kelpie]

Hey Alecto,
Hope today goes well for you. It's very much an adjusting process, and the first week is very difficult on your body.

Probably your reading will have confirmed this, but yes, beer is going to keep you out of ketosis. About 200 calories in a pint, and 17-20g carbohydrates... so the same as a further Exante pack (weird!) but with further negative effects on your body. The 'good' news is that when you kick it, you'll find it far easier to cruise through the tough bit of getting started on the diet, and once you get into ketosis, you'll feel so, so much better. The bad news is having to kick it, of course. I've been where you are a few years ago (many similarities in your story) and it feels hugely unfair to have to give up a thing that brings that pleasure and relief, but it is so, so worth it. When you're not drinking and the weight loss starts and your energy goes up and your knees feel better (I'm still waiting for that last one, but it's going to be joyous) you won't have the same drive the drink. It's horrible and hard and difficult, but the drink needs to go. I have enormous empathy for you and am cheerleading from here. I couldn't have quit drinking and started dieting at the same time. But hell, you're going to get a massive result when you go 100%. This is going to go quicker than you think. You'll be up in the attic fetching down clothes soon. Get your water down you, find something to distract you, and if you can, get early nights.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Hi Kelpie
Thank you so much for your kind words and for cheering me through this - I do indeed need some of that!
This is my chance to get back to health. Finally got into a 3 year contract (started in Feb), I'm adjusted to the new work now, I have a stable home and a lovely supportive partner. And were having the best summer yet - so all positives to keep my motivation until I adjust.
Cannot believe how my fitness just plummeted during these years and my appetite has changed so drastically. I used to cycle to work and back, do at least 3 runs a week, play squash with friends and didn't even count how many steps as walking was natural. I used to cook my own protein-rich, green fibre foods and used to enjoy it. Sometimes I still feel that I am that person but I am not anymore... Knees hurt even when i walk, I crave all the silly things, and it's not once that I bumped into things because I thought my size was still a 10 and mentally didn't adjust to the new bigger me at now almost 16...
Thank you again! How are you fairing? What day are you on? How are you finding it?

 

[Darcy15]

Hello and welcome

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 5 - 75.9kg
Didn't have the best night sleep. Although I turned in at around 9pm I twisted and turned until about midnight. My headache almost prevented me from falling asleep. Woke up multiple times to go to the loo and feeling thirsty. Overslept as a consequence hence had to rush to work.
Within 1 hour of waking up my headache is back; i feel a bit lightheaded and forgetful. Dizzy when I stand up. Will keep a very low profile today and not beat myself up if I'm not as efficient as I'd like to be. It's going to get better!
Breakfast: 1 squash soup and black coffee.
Lunch: bean chilli and black coffee.
Ordered a 4week supply of exante today for more variety in the coming days.
Still feeling a bit dizzy, difficult to concentrate but i hope it will go away soon. Opted for working outside in the shade as that provides me with a lot of comfort. Fingers crossed for the rest of the day

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Hello and welcome

Thank you Darcy. Good to be here

 

[#GymBunny]

Good luck

 

[a_kelpie]

Hi Kelpie
Thank you so much for your kind words and for cheering me through this - I do indeed need some of that!
This is my chance to get back to health. Finally got into a 3 year contract (started in Feb), I'm adjusted to the new work now, I have a stable home and a lovely supportive partner. And were having the best summer yet - so all positives to keep my motivation until I adjust.
Cannot believe how my fitness just plummeted during these years and my appetite has changed so drastically. I used to cycle to work and back, do at least 3 runs a week, play squash with friends and didn't even count how many steps as walking was natural. I used to cook my own protein-rich, green fibre foods and used to enjoy it. Sometimes I still feel that I am that person but I am not anymore... Knees hurt even when i walk, I crave all the silly things, and it's not once that I bumped into things because I thought my size was still a 10 and mentally didn't adjust to the new bigger me at now almost 16...
Thank you again! How are you fairing? What day are you on? How are you finding it?

So glad to read this update: you've got so many good things going on. You can do this!
Definitely know what you mean about fitness... I can't believe how far I used to run. How did I do that? Why did I do that? I would love to be able to do that again. But I'm not going to get there by sprinting off across a field - baby steps of walking and losing weight first. It will come.

I'm doing ok, thanks! I'm on day 14, and I'm much sharper, in a much better mood, not cold all the time (although it's 30 degrees out so.. that would make sense) and although the packs are boring, I'm only thinking about food... hmm... 10% of the time? It does get better - the fuzzy-head gets instantly better at a certain point. I can even do basic maths again.... I had some insomnia in the first week too: I think it's a 'thing'.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 5 coming to an end. I had the veg soup for dinner. Decided to go for the advice here and stick to 600 rather than 800.
Im not hungry though so i think it's do-able. There's an automatic Friday, end of week thought of lager and silly food that crossed my mind but felt easy to control. Mind still fuzzy but less headache though still there (might be because ive been smoking like a maniac). On 3.25l of water (and i think ill drink even more by the time i fall asleep). On 9000 steps. Looking forward to another day tomorrow.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Start of Day 6 - woke up early on a Saturday. Wow. Must be the no alcohol. Had troubles falling asleep again (went to bed just before 10, didn't actually fall asleep until close to 1 due to some significant hunger), I was restless and only slept 6 hours. But im not hungry now and I feel rather...revitalised. Ill take it easy today - nice bath, reading in the sunshine. Looking forward to receiving a new exante box to dig into other sachets throughout the day.
Maybe you guys know: is it that not all their meal replacements are suitable for the TS? If so, is it due to the carb level they've got? I didn't realise this might be the case to it'll help me select the low carb ones for the time being if that is the case...
Also - does the TS not involve 1 week of 800cal per month? I.e. 3 weeks on 600 and one on 800, then repeat. Do you guys do it like that?
I also read it's not recommended to continue on 600cal for more than 4 weeks without a little break of about a week (from the NHS site). What are your opinions on that? Do you guys tend to plod through a couple of months and then take a break maybe?
Sorry for all the questions - im a newbie and your experience is really valuable!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Almost here. Oh the excitement!!!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Hurrah!!! Supplies, bfast, better get organising!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

So...75.6 today...only 300gr lower than yesterday but 300 extra from 2 days ago. I guess it's the daily ups and downs of water and coffee intake so it doesn't bug me. If it were to stay like this for 2 continuous weeks, though, this early on i would get a bit discouraged (i expect something like this happening after i had lost a stone at least).
With some fear of it being awful i had the porridge oats for bfast. I was pleasently surprised. I put in 150ml water rather than the 140 and...it was creamy. Almost like very creamy custard... It was a bit too sweet for my palate (im generally a savoury person and tend to go 'continental' for my breakfasts) but it reminded me of the general sweet taste of most cereal-based morming foods. I enjoyed it.
Keeping to 600 again today (plan is sweet sour noodles and mushroom soup) washed down with water and black coffee. It will be Day 3 with no alcohol as well. Im 80% sure i wont want it even if any craving slips in later in the afternoon. Decided to go go karting with some people and i volunteered as driver to ensure any cravings are kept way at bay.
Not sure about steps. I get a bit of a 'whole-room-spinning' thing going every time i get up. Hope it's a transient thing and itll be better as day goes on.
Sorry for all the posts (not sure why, I did start this diary to help me with a difficult process) but I find writing and reading about all this very comforting atm..

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 6 has ended. I had the ham, mushroom and pasta soup for dinner in the end, 600cals altogether in the day. Not as great as other soups but worked nicely with a bit of pepper, salt and garlic powder added to it.
Realised 1 think - when i get really tired and don't want to carry on doing a certain thing my cravings start. I went go karting and only got back now (11.30pm). It worked my arm muscles quite a bit for 55minutes. But by the 3rd round i really just felt so tired and hot and thirsty (i sweated so much as the equipment is thick and the place was boiling) that i just wanted to go to bed. As i couldn't, obviously i started thinking 'wouldn't it be nice to finish off this hot day with a pint?', 'french food sounds amazing right now...oh, but we have amazing lebanese nearby'. I caught the process as it was happening, had an 'aha' moment and thought - i went through 6 days, im not turning back, it would be such a waste of effort.
Had 3.5l water and about 6k steps (not as good as the other days, i did have quite a lazy one today).
Keeping calm and carrying on. Beddy bed time!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Day 7 has commenced. I kept to it for a whole week despite the slight confused strategies of the first couple of days. 7 days with no real food and...4 days no alcoho. Whoohoo!
Weight? 75.1 or 11.8stones i lost 2.5kg (5.5pounds). Although I know it will be mostly water I do not care. It is the START and more weight I've dropped in months and months of Slimming World or trying to get back to calorie count and exercise. It's the boost I need to carry on and later get back to my old calorie counting and progressive increase of physical activity.
Woke up with no hunger. I feel happy and excited even from before the weight in. This whole thing is doing amazing things to my mood. Although still quite low on energy and I feel a bit melty/dizzy/fuzzy if I run up the stairs too quickly or do too much stuff, it settles after I have my meal and at least I feel motivated to do stuff! I've been struggling for months with that.
I won't still be able to fit in anything other than the couple of big trousers and tshirts but I will be able to care more about my appearance (to be read as able to look at myself in the mirror) again soon.
Anyway, tonnes to do today so better get on with it! Have a lovely day everyone!

 

[Darcy15]

Well done you!!

 

[a_kelpie]

Ahh, this was such a great update to read! Well done and keep going.

 

[castingnasturtiums]

Ahhhh - welcome. I'm so happy to hear you've had such a successful start. I just read your whole diary in a chunk and was a bit worried about you at the beginning.

And I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time - with all the upheavals in your life and the lack of support of from people around you, no wonder you were falling into food and drink for comfort. It's good to know you're in a better place now, and have a partner who will you cheer you though - this will make a huge difference to helping you stay on plan.

Just echoing Kelpie in that you really need to avoid all alcohol when you're on plan - it's not just question of how many calories you're taking in, but the kind of calories. So maybe try to see this as a way of resetting your relationship with alcohol as well as your relationship with food!

And congratulations on your first week of losses: I think when you first start the plan you're (general you, not you in particular) motivated strongly by negative factors (I feel bad, I don't want to look and feel like this, I don't want to be fat) but as your weight continues to fall you'll find you become motivated by more positive things (I feel better, I want to keep losing weight, I have more energy etc.) So I am cheering for you

Finally: do be gentle with yourself. The best thing about ketosis is that it gives you a huge energy boost because there's a tonne of fat for your body to use as power so it's really easy to forget you're only on 600-800 calories. Like, a week or so ago, I accidentally went out without eating a product and forgot to take a product with me and by the time we were walking home I literally felt like my body was grinding to a halt like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz. And I was hungrier than usual for a few days after. So just be aware that how your body fuels itself, uses energy and recovers from sudden bursts of energy use will be different.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Thank you Casting, for the lovely words and for the encouragement and advice. Appreciated highly
It was a difficult time of my life that...i don't think I'll ever forget it although I'd rather.
But...I'm ending Day 7. Had porridge, the beef pot (ok but didn't like it as much as other things. It'll do for now), and the sweet sour noodles. 4l of water and 7500 steps and day 4 no alcohol.
I've had so much energy today, unbelievable! Did so much stuff. When i woke up i was a bit fuzzy but then it slowly dissipated.
An interesting thing happened while in the cinema this afternoon. I became super cold all of the sudden and my partner was like 'breathe towards me - oh, i think you got into keto, hurray'; my breath started to smell funny and i started to have this weird taste in my mouth. Ive not had dinner yet but I swear I am not hungry one bit! Casting's advice is absolutely spot on - you can forget to eat if not careful! I won't but I'm happy the cravings are gone - so liberating! I am happy I can maintain this now, albeit a bit nervous about when I'll have to eat normal food again. But ill cross that bridge when I come to it.
Onward to tomorrow