Weight related bullying - long post sorry!

[beckyn22]

I can't believe what some people will say to complete strangers in the street

*hugs* to you all and know that you'll have the last laugh when you're slim!

Thank you Alwyn. Seeing you in your ski-ing gear is very motivating. I haven't skied for years because of my weight but loved it as teenager. Would be great to treat myself and my OH to a ski-ing holiday when I get to goal!xxx

 

[Scorpiolady2710]

There's some great motivation for you beckyn22!!

Again thanks for sharing stories everyone. What a society we live in eh? :sigh:

 

[EmmyR1984]

:bighug: I'm so sorry you've been subjected to this bullying by this scum - because that's what they are. It disgusts me to think that people think they have the right to subject someone to this sort of abuse :cry:

It reminds me of a couple of incidents I've had to endure

One - I was in the queue for a cash machine and a middle aged guy walked past me, turned around and gave me a thoroughly disgusted look and said "people like you disgust me, absolute waste of oxygen", I was too gobsmacked to say anything.

Two - my fiance and I were in the supermarket and we kept bumping into a woman and her roughly 5 year old daughter. And everytime her daughter saw me she'd point and say "look mummy, fatty!". And the mum did nothing, just stood there and smirked. And I think I had this about 7 or 8 times before I had to leave the shop because I was scared of what I would say.

Three - in 2010 we'd gone to London for 4 nights to do some xmas shopping, and we decided that one night we were going to eat in the hotel restaurant. When we were seated I spotted this middle aged guy staring at me with disgust, I just tried to smile and forget about it. But then he started making comments, loud enough for me to hear like "ugh, why should I have to sit across from something like that" and "the parents must be to blame for it being so fat". I mean IT!! As though I was a thing that he had scraped off his shoes. I refused to order, went back to the hotel room and sobbed my heart out, and then went to sainsburys down the road and got loads of chocolate and crisps as I felt so awful about myself I didn't see the point in making an effort

 

[vicky1823]

Jeeees! This post made me so sad! I can't believe what some people say!!! Even back when I was a size 8 never ONCE did I take the piss out of someone larger than me! It never ever occurred to me to be that cruel about another PERSON! I can't believe the petrol station story were the shop owners told you to get out!? What the hell! At the end of the day though I agree with all the replies on here, you seem a genuinely nice person and you seem to have a big heart keep your head held high!! let's hope that those bullies get pushed into some nettles at some point in their crappy life! Huge Hugs Vicky xxx

 

[beckyn22]

:bighug: I'm so sorry you've been subjected to this bullying by this scum - because that's what they are. It disgusts me to think that people think they have the right to subject someone to this sort of abuse :cry:

It reminds me of a couple of incidents I've had to endure

One - I was in the queue for a cash machine and a middle aged guy walked past me, turned around and gave me a thoroughly disgusted look and said "people like you disgust me, absolute waste of oxygen", I was too gobsmacked to say anything.

Two - my fiance and I were in the supermarket and we kept bumping into a woman and her roughly 5 year old daughter. And everytime her daughter saw me she'd point and say "look mummy, fatty!". And the mum did nothing, just stood there and smirked. And I think I had this about 7 or 8 times before I had to leave the shop because I was scared of what I would say.

Three - in 2010 we'd gone to London for 4 nights to do some xmas shopping, and we decided that one night we were going to eat in the hotel restaurant. When we were seated I spotted this middle aged guy staring at me with disgust, I just tried to smile and forget about it. But then he started making comments, loud enough for me to hear like "ugh, why should I have to sit across from something like that" and "the parents must be to blame for it being so fat". I mean IT!! As though I was a thing that he had scraped off his shoes. I refused to order, went back to the hotel room and sobbed my heart out, and then went to sainsburys down the road and got loads of chocolate and crisps as I felt so awful about myself I didn't see the point in making an effort

Hi Emmy,

I've so sorry you've been through this too. No decent, intelligent human being would behave as you and I have described but that doesn't always help these comments to be any less painful and humiliating. When we are feeling vulnerable (which is when we get the comments, as some posters have said, bullies definitely pick what they think are 'easy targets') these comments drive us to comfort eat even more, I know. Thank goodness for the lovely supportive folk on minimins such as yourself and everyone else who's replied to this thread. I like the idea of using these experiences as motivation for staying on plan and turning them into positives. We will get there xxx

 

[beckyn22]

Jeeees! This post made me so sad! I can't believe what some people say!!! Even back when I was a size 8 never ONCE did I take the piss out of someone larger than me! It never ever occurred to me to be that cruel about another PERSON! I can't believe the petrol station story were the shop owners told you to get out!? What the hell! At the end of the day though I agree with all the replies on here, you seem a genuinely nice person and you seem to have a big heart keep your head held high!! let's hope that those bullies get pushed into some nettles at some point in their crappy life! Huge Hugs Vicky xxx

Lol Vicky. I'm sure they will!! Thank you xxx

 

[vivahate]

beckyn22 your post was so sad it made me well up and I am not one who gets upset easily! I don't know what it is that makes people be so nasty. I can't ever imagine verbally or physically abusing anyone, nevermind a complete stranger. The tw*ts in the car who yell out stuff are the ultimate pathetic ones, not brave enough to say it to your face. Same with those who confront you when you are outnumbered. They are cowards.

I suffered verbal abuse throughout my teens from a group of boys who lived in the same, small, village. It was relentless, I couldn't walk to the shop or a friend's without one of them yelling "meaty" or "fat b*tch" at me. I will never forget the face of the ringleader and hope he has an awful life and painful death.

Since moving to Manchester 2 1/2 years ago I haven't had any abuse whatsoever levelled at me (touchwood). I think it is such a diverse city that tolerance is higher than where I grew up. The rare occasions I do go "home" though, I regress back to being a teenager and worry I will still see those lads. I brought the fella back to my parents at Xmas and was so worried we could bump into them. Stupid really.

 

[beckyn22]

beckyn22 your post was so sad it made me well up and I am not one who gets upset easily! I don't know what it is that makes people be so nasty. I can't ever imagine verbally or physically abusing anyone, nevermind a complete stranger. The tw*ts in the car who yell out stuff are the ultimate pathetic ones, not brave enough to say it to your face. Same with those who confront you when you are outnumbered. They are cowards.

I suffered verbal abuse throughout my teens from a group of boys who lived in the same, small, village. It was relentless, I couldn't walk to the shop or a friend's without one of them yelling "meaty" or "fat b*tch" at me. I will never forget the face of the ringleader and hope he has an awful life and painful death.

Since moving to Manchester 2 1/2 years ago I haven't had any abuse whatsoever levelled at me (touchwood). I think it is such a diverse city that tolerance is higher than where I grew up. The rare occasions I do go "home" though, I regress back to being a teenager and worry I will still see those lads. I brought the fella back to my parents at Xmas and was so worried we could bump into them. Stupid really.

vivahate - I can totally understand what you went through because of the ignorant idiots in your village. Why people feel they have the right to do this I just don't know. I think you are totally right about bigger cities - when I lived in London I felt totally un-self conscious and really felt I could be myself. Lincoln, although it's technically a city, is not really diverse and is quite provincial. It feels like a village mentality sometimes. Someone once said to me if you know 5 people in Lincoln you know everyone and it's virtually true!

I really hope that when you get to your target you do see the village bullies again and you can wipe the smirks off their faces. :bighug: xxx

 

[TtMummy]

Hi Hun

Funnily enough I was reading about a woman this morning in Burgess Hill who has lost weight and got fit and is running and raising money for an anti bullying charity and it's all because of the bullying she had whilst she was bigger.

Reading your post and the replies is hard because it reminds of so many similar incidents that I've blocked out. I went from being a very confident 15 year old to a wreck at 28. I don't even like to think about my 20's - I always say that my life began at 30 because I realised that I was a GROWN UP and I was in charge of MY life and I was worth everything that I knew I was and not all the crap that other people threw at me, verbal and physical. *******s. S'cuse my language. I sometimes feel that I wasted so much of my life, so much time in a fog of misery and unhappiness. I would sometimes cry for help but noone could really help me, only me in the end. Makes me cry just thinking about it now.

I have 2 daughters now, both under 9 and I swear I will never ever let them become a target or a punch bag for bullies. I do everything I can to promote self confidence, healthy eating, activity, kindness, compassion, positive anger... there are so many things that they will need to fend off society and it's disgusting behaviour. But sometimes I just want to lock them away and keep them safe. Young women today are confronted by confusing 'porn star' images daily and encouraged to have pneumatic tits, orange skin, shaven vaginas and skirts so short they are hankies. What a lot of crap. And then to add weight issues, bullys, social networking and smart phones and unkind peer pressure is just too horrid to think about.

Sorry, on my soap box again. :sigh:

What I want to say is well done for getting through it all, well done for coping and for surviving. You go for it beckyn22, take it a day at a time and you will get there. And I for one, and all these other lovely people, are right behind you willing you to DO IT. On a positive note, what goes around comes around. One of my early tormentors lost all his hair in his 20's taking him from 'gorgeous' to 'eeewwwww' overnight. Another has a hideous marriage that is a misery... Shame innit. So be kind, be mindful and BE BRAVE ) Good luck hun x

 

[beckyn22]

Thanks so much GinMummy for your lovely post and kind words. You are so right about the porn star mentality, and it can't be a coincidence that much of the bullying I've encountered was from men. I'm so sorry to hear you've had similar incidents - it really does seem to be bullying people for having a weight problem is oh so socially acceptable at the moment. Must be hard being a mum of young girls. I haven't been lucky enough to fall pregnant (may change as I lose weight :crossfingers:!) but know I'd be just the same as you with them if I had girls. It's a minefield out there and, as you say, more pressure on young girls than ever before now I think. I'm actually going to remove the first post, as I was in such a bad, negative place when I posted that and am actually a bit embarrassed by it now - although the lovely supportive comments from people such as yourself showed it was worth it. I have only lost a stone and a half from being my heaviest (since last August) but have been changed beyond all recognition thanks to slimpods - wanting to exercise, no more emotional eating, no more wanting chocolate and sweet stuff - therefore I know all the problems that I've encountered in my life because of my weight are less important now as there is no way I can fail this time around!

I will have to look into the anti bullying charity - what a great story. If I ever get to the stage where I can run for charity (as I would love to!) then I would probably do the same!

Thanks again for your lovely post :bighug: xxx

 

[TtMummy]

Hiya
I think that's fantastic that you have managed to move on so much - what an amazing achievement

I wonder if you would consider leaving your first post up there. After I wrote to you today I suddenly panicked - who would read it, would they know me, should I remove my twitter link or change my name or... But the point is that if you help one person through a terrible time, if you help one woman realise that it's not her fault or if you help one family to understand how debilitating bullies and social harassment can be then it's SO worth it. So consider leaving your post because you are proof that 'it's not just me' and you are also proof that you can overcome and move on from that crap)
X