We're not going backwards. It's time to move forward...

[JessicaPink]

Evening everyone,

I hope you are all well & not feeling too cold (the weather is really starting to get miserable isn't it!)

My name is Jess and I've been on minis for a while - 2 years in February as it goes. I was known on here for a while as "Mrs Lampard" where I lost over 2 and a half stone in 12 weeks taking me down to 140lbs. It was a major achievement for me and I felt amazing. Unfortunately, I then lost my job and the weight gradually crept back on through comfort eating/drinking. This was totally my fault as I should have been stronger.

About a year ago, I left "Mrs Lampard" and was on and off Cambridge like no ones business, losing half a stone at a time and then putting it back on again. In June this year, I returned to minis but I wanted a new 'identity' almost. I felt like a failure if I came back on here and admitted that I had struggled, especially to those who saw me as an 'inspiration'. So I started the diet again weighing 160lbs, where i lost a stone. I then visited my Grandparents for a few days (my nan is a feeder) and gradually went off course.

A couple of weeks ago, weighing in at 158lbs I thought I had decided enough was enough, I came back onto CD and lost 8lbs in a week taking me down to 150lbs. Since then, I've struggled. A week later I'm 152lbs and fretting.

To be honest, I'm exhausted. I'm tired of dieting, but not only that, I'm tired of dieting and failing because I just can't seem to do it. I'm an emotional eater, I use food as my comfort blanket. I'll take chocolate over a cuddle any day which I can admit is totally wrong. I know I do it so why can't I stop?

A couple of weeks ago, my friend's boyfriend died whilst they were travelling the world together. It is horrific and I'm extremely sad for my friend who has lost the love of her life. I suppose she can get some comfort that he died on a trip of a lifetime, with the woman he loved and was living life to the full - he was about to do a skydive when the plane he was on crashed. Things like this absolutely terrify me - to the point where I feel like I'm going mad. I have this real thing with "time" and the fact that I feel like we just don't have enough of it - then things like that happen and it just emphasises that even more. The thought of life suddenly being taken away, and it can happen at any time absolutely petrifies me. (I'm sorry - I don't mean to be morbid! There is a point to me saying this )
Life is too short, and I vow to myself to live my life to the full & to tell my family, friends & fiancé that I love them every single day.

Which brings me to today. Weighing in at 152lbs - I want to change my life. For good this time. I'm scared that it's going to be a repeat of my previous failures and I'm not 100% certain I'm going to succeed but I'm certainly going to try. If I ever have a down moment, I will just think of my friend whose pain is far worse than anything I hope to ever feel.

I want to be "wilder" and take more risks - have more fun. One of those little things on my "list of things to do" is pole dancing!! Not to make a career out of it or anything like that, but just for the sheer fun of it and for once, to feel sexy & confident.

I absolutely love my career in Marketing, but it's my dream to be trained in Make-up Artistry & Beauty. At the moment, I don't have the money - or the confidence but this is something I wish to do.

So here's to today where I hope to change my life and to only say "I'm starting the diet tomorrow" just this once .

So here goes...I'm re-starting the Cambridge Diet tomorrow. My weight & general self-esteem are two of the things I wish to change about my life. I hope I can do this.

Wish me luck
Thank you for reading,

Jess xxxxx

 

[farmgirl]

What a brilliant first post, Jess.
I'm at a crossroads and also realise 'life is too short' to waste being unhappy,
unfulfilled or fat !
I think my new motto will be 'Why Not ?'
I'm an emotional eater and understand how easy it is to get de-railed due to stress or emotion, and feeders don't exactly help
You sound determined and have already proven to yourself that you CAN do this.
26lbs will go really quickly if you stick to CD and I believe you can do it.
We have a similar amount to lose so I will keep an eye on you
Lets get gorgeous for christmas
Good luck x

 

[Elie]

Hi Jessica! First of all, good luck on your journey I too am a restarter and I'll subscribe to your diary to follow your successes

I am not starting tomorrow as I need to see my CDC first, but I'll start very soon too.

We can encourage eachother

Are you doing the diet with the same CDC? I had to change mine as I moved to the other side of the country. A pity, as I really liked my previous one.

ETA: I have a lot more weight to lose than you do, hehe, so you can keep me on my toes too

 

[Chelsea Lou]

You'll be fine Jess, once you set your mind to something you can be a stubborn little thing and not give up until you've got what you wanted

Love Mum

 

[JessicaPink]

What a brilliant first post, Jess.

I'm at a crossroads and also realise 'life is too short' to waste being unhappy,
unfulfilled or fat !
I think my new motto will be 'Why Not ?'
I'm an emotional eater and understand how easy it is to get de-railed due to stress or emotion, and feeders don't exactly help
You sound determined and have already proven to yourself that you CAN do this.
26lbs will go really quickly if you stick to CD and I believe you can do it.
We have a similar amount to lose so I will keep an eye on you
Lets get gorgeous for christmas
Good luck x

Thank you Life is definitely too short and scary when you never know how long we all have. That can be a positive thing though because we should all shut the door on the not-so-great things about ourselves & our lives and cherish the good – make our lives good.

Sounds like a great motto to me! Being an emotional eater is the worst kind I think! When I’m happy – I eat, when I’m sad, angry, stressed – I eat! Which would be ok I guess if it was fruit or something good for me, needless to say it’s not. It’s chocolate every time.

Thank you, I feel determined at the moment and I have definitely done this before with no problems (apart from when I decided to eat rubbish again).
I will keep an eye on you too! We can do this together!
Lets get very gorgeous for Christmas!!

Hi Jessica! First of all, good luck on your journey I too am a restarter and I'll subscribe to your diary to follow your successes

I am not starting tomorrow as I need to see my CDC first, but I'll start very soon too.

We can encourage eachother

Are you doing the diet with the same CDC? I had to change mine as I moved to the other side of the country. A pity, as I really liked my previous one.

ETA: I have a lot more weight to lose than you do, hehe, so you can keep me on my toes too

Hi Elie! Thank you – Good luck to you too hun. I am, she’s really lovely and I’m lucky to have her That’s a shame about your CDC, a good one can be hard to find sometimes and with a diet like this you definitely need someone who is supportive and good at what they do.

I’ll definitely try and encourage you as much as I can don’t worry. You can always come and chat to me if you need some help or just someone to talk to!

Good luck hun!! xxxx

 

[JessicaPink]

You'll be fine Jess, once you set your mind to something you can be a stubborn little thing and not give up until you've got what you wanted

Love Mum

Thanks Mum I hope so. Getting bored of restarting over and over again and not getting anywhere. Doesn't help that I don't feel all too well at the moment.
Lets hope so
Thanks for being great, xxxxx Love you! xxxxx

 

[JessicaPink]

Good morning everyone! I hope you are all well x
I’m feeling a bit annoyed if I’m honest – I’m coming down with a sore throat/cold and I woke up this morning feeling worse. I was really hoping I’d feel better.

I’ve had my Apple & Cinnamon Porridge for Breakfast, but had to have a lemsip as my throat is really hurting and needed some medicine. My head is in the diet – I feel like I’m ready to go, however I’m not going to be in ketosis if I have to have lemsips and things to make this cold go away. It’s a lot of money for all the products and now I’m not sure what to do – do I low carb for a few days until I’m better where I’m not just wasting CD products? Or do I carry on doing CD but along with lemsips etc?

I’m annoyed because I just wanted to get going and for nothing to stand in my way, but I suppose I have to make the best of what I’ve got and choose to low carb/low fat for a few days until I can give this diet a proper go? Right?

I’m also a little miffed because I have to travel to Leeds on Thursday for an event I’ve organised and stay overnight. It’s a long way to go and I really didn’t want to feel ill for it! Ah well…just got to keep my chin up and get on with it!

Busy at work at the moment – I have a million projects (probably an exaggeration) going on with not enough time. I do love it though – my job is fab! I work in Marketing which is great fun – can be very pressured a lot of the time but I prefer it that way. Keeps me on my toes! As I’ve mentioned before though, I’d love to work with Makeup. Oh my god, I get way too excited about cosmetics. Apart from my sister which is who I get this addiction from, everyone thinks I’m bonkers! I particularly love Benefit makeup, mainly because of the feminine and quirky designs, Dior is another favourite. Maybe that could be an incentive? Maybe every 5lbs I could buy myself a new item? Eeeeeeeeek! I have 26lbs to lose, so that’s 5 new things in total!

I’m going to bury myself back into work now, probably isn’t a good idea to take 20 minutes out because I’m not on a roll anymore…
Oh well.

Anyway, please help about the illness/diet situation. Would really appreciate some advice on that

Thank you for reading – have a lovely day all!

Love Jess xxxxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Sweetie I would use another form of medication, paracetamol and stick with the CD. That's all Lemsips are , paracetamol with a bit of lemon flavouring in them. If you really wanted to you could crush the tablets and add them to some of the water flavouring, creating your own lemsips..........jessips

God I'm good hahahaha

 

[JessicaPink]

Sweetie I would use another form of medication, paracetamol and stick with the CD. That's all Lemsips are , paracetamol with a bit of lemon flavouring in them. If you really wanted to you could crush the tablets and add them to some of the water flavouring, creating your own lemsips..........jessips

God I'm good hahahaha

I feel a bit thrown to be honest now. I think it's just because I'm scared I will fail if I have little obstacles in the way. I'm annoyed I'm ill because I just wanted a fresh start without having to battle more than I already have just to trying to stay focused on this diet.

It's not an excuse - although I feel like I'm making excuses but I just want to get over this cold (the sooner the better) and then really concentrate on the diet - put my 'all' into it so I have nothing holding me back. On the other hand, I just want to start like I said I would.

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost it. Damn cold. :cry:

xxxxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

I feel a bit thrown to be honest now. I think it's just because I'm scared I will fail if I have little obstacles in the way. I'm annoyed I'm ill because I just wanted a fresh start without having to battle more than I already have just to trying to stay focused on this diet.

It's not an excuse - although I feel like I'm making excuses but I just want to get over this cold (the sooner the better) and then really concentrate on the diet - put my 'all' into it so I have nothing holding me back. On the other hand, I just want to start like I said I would.

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost it. Damn cold. :cry:

xxxxx

Therefore don't let a cold be an obstacle. There are enough nutrients in the CD packs to sustain your body whilst you are suffering. Try and have some hot flavoured water instead of chilled - that will make you feel much better, warmer inside.

I hope this helps you as you seemed so motivated last week and the week before and the sooner you get started the sooner you will be all sylph-like and amazing!!

Love Mum x

 

[leeds123]

jess, i have been feeling really low for a while. lost about 2 stone on cd since jan and had some breaks and more or less managed to maintain. am back to lose the last stone but its so hard as i am feeling really low. i just try my best every day and am desperate to comfort eat all my sadness away. your post has really inspired me today and touched me too. thank you for being so honest, and thank you for being my inspiration today.

i am stuck as a lawyer and hate it but have no idea how to change career to something more meaningful. my dream job would be to work with vulnerable children. hope you are feeling better, and what a fabby mum you have!!!!

 

[JessicaPink]

jess, i have been feeling really low for a while. lost about 2 stone on cd since jan and had some breaks and more or less managed to maintain. am back to lose the last stone but its so hard as i am feeling really low. i just try my best every day and am desperate to comfort eat all my sadness away. your post has really inspired me today and touched me too. thank you for being so honest, and thank you for being my inspiration today.

i am stuck as a lawyer and hate it but have no idea how to change career to something more meaningful. my dream job would be to work with vulnerable children. hope you are feeling better, and what a fabby mum you have!!!!

Hey hun,

Well done on losing 2 stone and you CAN lose this last stone – but I know how you feel. It’s almost worst being near the end because you don’t completely hate yourself! If that makes sense! I’m not hugely overweight – 152lbs. I’m about 8lbs over my “healthy” weight so when I look in the mirror I don’t necessarily see something disgusting like I used to when I was obese. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all that happy with what I see but it’s not the worst thing in the world – I think that’s why I struggle.

I’m really sorry to hear that you are feeling low Losing weight is such a battle most of the time and I can understand completely how you are feeling. Sometimes I hate it so much I try and talk myself out of dieting, telling myself I’m fine the way I am. To be honest, we are all fine just the way we are but that’s not going to change how we feel about ourselves for the better.

That’s really sweet to say that my post has inspired you Thank you that means so much. When I was on the diet last time, I was always honest about most things but if I was struggling – I’d miss that part out because I didn’t want people to think I was a failure or I’m incapable. I also didn’t want to admit that to myself!
Now, I’m just going to be absolutely 100% honest – failures, struggles and all, regardless of whether I want to admit things or not

Thank you - my mum is lovely x very lucky girly!
I hope you feel better too xxx Chin up, and am here if you fancy a chat xxx

 

[JessicaPink]

I think I’ve made a decision…
I’m going to make healthy low fat/low carb choices until I’m over this cold. I really wanted to start properly today, and feel like I’ve failed before I’ve even started! I just feel that I need to be 100% ready in myself and a sore throat, runny nose and nasty cough isn’t helping me at the moment (sorry for TMI!) The lemsips I have seem to be helping – very soothing

I want to make sure that when I’m better I am head strong and completely ready to attack this diet with everything I have. I am making good choices and will continue to do so until I’m better. I hope you guys don’t think bad of me already – I definitely will be starting CD as soon as I can because I’m determined to finish what I started just over 18 months ago. I’m not going to let myself down.
I may even be able to lose a lb or two by low carbing

Just wanted to say thank you for your messages so far, they are really appreciated.

I hope you have all had a nice day, despite the cold weather.
In case I don’t manage to log on this evening, have a great one.

Fingers crossed I feel better tomorrow – a complete recovery would be good!

Love Jess xxxxx

 

[Elie]

I feel for you Sometimes colds feel like death warmed up.

If you aren't CD-ing, then make sure to take a lot of vit C. Everytime I have the start of a cold, I press one lemon every morning and evening in very hot water (with some honey to sooth the throat) and it really helps. My cold used to last 10 days and the last ones only lasted 3 days! The lemon drink is pretty vile though

I think you need to feel comfortable. Plus you seem to have a mum who is behind you and is supportive

 

[gennalouise]

Now lampard rings a bell. Im pretty sure i was chatting on here when you lost your wieght last time you may not remember me (im more a stalker then a chatter ) I like you put some wieght back on but for different reasons. I convinced myself that now i was slim i could eat what i like PAH!!!! Any ways hope you recover quickly from your cold lovely and then you can get back on it. I know when i made up my mind i wanted to be on it asap. take care x

 

[leeds123]

lovely message again jess! i think low carb will be good for you. in my first week back i did 2 shakes and a low carb meal and still lost 6lbs so do what feels right. if you are ill you wont be in the zone, and cd cant be done unless you are int he zone. hope you feel better really soon! and thank you for sharing how you sometimes feel down, i sometimes feel like the only person in the world feeling sad so its nice to hear i am not always alone!

 

[JessicaPink]

I feel for you Sometimes colds feel like death warmed up.

If you aren't CD-ing, then make sure to take a lot of vit C. Everytime I have the start of a cold, I press one lemon every morning and evening in very hot water (with some honey to sooth the throat) and it really helps. My cold used to last 10 days and the last ones only lasted 3 days! The lemon drink is pretty vile though

I think you need to feel comfortable. Plus you seem to have a mum who is behind you and is supportive

Hi Elie,
Thanks hun - I feel rubbish to be honest. I'm glad I didn't waste any of my CD products and attempt to diet because I really don't think I would have been able to have coped.

I hope you're well hun The lemon and hot water sounds lovely - I might try that... Ouch! 10 days... I hope mine doesn't last that long! Want to start on this diet ASAP!

Take care,
Love Jess xxx

 

[JessicaPink]

Now lampard rings a bell. Im pretty sure i was chatting on here when you lost your wieght last time you may not remember me (im more a stalker then a chatter ) I like you put some wieght back on but for different reasons. I convinced myself that now i was slim i could eat what i like PAH!!!! Any ways hope you recover quickly from your cold lovely and then you can get back on it. I know when i made up my mind i wanted to be on it asap. take care x

Hi gennalouise
I definitely recognise your name! Thanks hun, I can't wait to get better just so I can do this diet! I just want to get started and finish this for once and for all.

I hope you're well hun,
Speak soon
Jess xxxxx

 

[JessicaPink]

lovely message again jess! i think low carb will be good for you. in my first week back i did 2 shakes and a low carb meal and still lost 6lbs so do what feels right. if you are ill you wont be in the zone, and cd cant be done unless you are int he zone. hope you feel better really soon! and thank you for sharing how you sometimes feel down, i sometimes feel like the only person in the world feeling sad so its nice to hear i am not always alone!

Thanks hun, yeah definitely think not doing CD yet was the best idea. I'm really struggling being ill - I hate it. I feel really tired and all I want to do is curl up, watch Jeremy Kyle, eat toast and have an endless cup of tea! lol

I'm off to leeds actually tomorrow - thinking of your name!

Ohh you're definitely not the only person feeling sad, we all have those down moments trust me - I have my fair share. Just got to try and keep smiling hey

Hope you've had a good day,
Take care,
Off to Leeds I go!

Jess xxx

 

[JessicaPink]

Evening everyone

Sorry I haven't posted sooner, it's been such a busy day! I meant to log on at lunch time (as I only live across the road from the office), but I just wanted to sit, relax and do nothing so I decided a cup of tea and a couple of episode of the Inbetweeners would help (Love that programme!)

I hope you have all had a good day. As I said before mine has been really busy so I'm glad to be sitting here not doing alot right now - not good though as I really need to pack for Leeds tonight. I'm going to an Event I've organised there so should be nice, but not really looking forward to a 4 hour train journey though, especially if I'm feeling any worse.

Think I may go grab myself a hot bath and an early night

Take care,

Thank you for reading xx
Love Jess xxx