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what do you say to

Nessa

Silver Member
#1
a dieing dad? I have spoke to mum this morning and dad is really bad, so bad that we don't know if he is going to last until christmas. I am going to write down everything i want to say to him but feel so helpless and numb I just don't know what do say or do.

I had a really bad dream last night about dad dieing. he was round mine with mum and he was slumped on my upstairs hall landing, the paramedics were there and they told me and mum that dad had less than an hour to live, mum was screaming at dad don't leave me!, don't leave me! i was knelt by dad telling him everything i wanted to say before he left us and josh came to me and said grandad is dieing isn't he and i had to hold it together and explain that yes he was, i dont know where my brother, jim or ellie was in all this but i woke up and cried my eyes out. i just cant get the dream out of my head it seemed so real.

on top of that both kids are ill and are constantly crying and getting up in the night 5 - 6 times, i am so emotional and look like death warmed up that all i seem to do is cry. I went into work this morning and they sent me home again because i was just not with it and looked knackered.

sorry to moan, just needed to get it off my chest. thanks for listening. The diet is not going at all well as i have not been following it at all, also all the above is why i have not been on here for a while.

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
 
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Delli

Talks too much
#2
nessa huney, never worry about the diet! how you are holding it together at present ill never know? maybe u should ask for some time off from work, it sounds like u need it. we r all here for u if u need us xx
 
#3
You must be going through hell. I lost my dad, and never got a chance to tell him how much i love him and i never got to say good bye. I think he'd appreciate knowing some of the things on your mind.
The diet will wait for you to be ready - as will we. As Delli says, we're always here for you, feel free to say what you want - you know we'll respond even if it is just to tell you that we will listen, and be as supportive as we can be.
Thinking of you honey xxxx
 
#4
nessa , its a sad time for you . i lost my dad last year too. both myself and sister are nurses and we made some decisions that , when i look back they were the right ones but then i often feel guilty as if we hadnt made those choices then maybe , but prob not . he would be here with us . however he would have had no quality of life and he would have hated it . he was in his 60's. my little girl knows that gramps went to be angel in heaven and thinks he has grown wings .... you cant prepare for this but in my experience you have to let him know its ok to leave you all, when its time , so many people wait for permission to be able to leave their loved ones ( may sound daft ,but i have seen it too often ). just let him know you love him and say those things . i went to see my dad afterwards before the funeral and in a way i wish i hadnt cos it wasnt my dad . my friend told me , REGRET SOMETHING YOU HAVE DONE NOT SOMETHING YOU DIDNT DO . you may feel in talking to him that maybe what you are saying isnt right but if you say nothing you have to live with that cos you cant turn back time and be able to say thoses things . like you i had vivid dreams before and after , but it will pass. you have to remember noone really dies they just move into the room next door and you will see them later.
sending lots of love .
sue
 
#6
Nessa, just wanted to say i`m thinking of you, look after yourself, you got my number if you need anything babe.
Take care xxx
 
S: 14st1lb C: 8st10lb BMI: 23 Loss: 5st5lb(38.07%)
#7
I can't begin to comprehend what you must be going through and there is nothing I can say to make it any easier but am sending you big HUGS hun - look after yourself and we are always here to listen and offer any support we can.

Take care

Georgie
xxxx
 




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