What do you think? NDQ

[dukannotsofatty]

Non Diet Question....NDQ LOL

What age do you think is right for a child to go out on their own.

My Daughter is ten, she started year 6 this year. I am a very protective Mum, I don't mind admitting it, in this day and age we need to be. I know some of DD friends go to and from school on their own. One of her friends goes to the shops on her own.

Hub and I discussed this last July that once DD went into Year 6 we would start letting her do little things independantly, as she will need to catch a bus to and from school, if she gets into the one we want LOL.

The post office is a 5 min walk from us, and crosses 1 main and 2 side streets. The main road has a pedestrian crossing and the side streets are both off another busy road. It seems to me to be the better of the two evils that she pop to the post office every now and then, so that she can build up a bit of street smarts before going off to high school.

I know from what I read years ago, that the law says that its mainly down to the maturity of a child as to whether they do something on their own or stay at home on their own, i don't know if this is true at all. She doesn't play outside apart from the garden, as there are no friends nearby, we drive 3 miles to school. She may end up with friends in the area once she starts high school though.

Do you have kids, do they go on their own, how old were they when they started.

Sorry for rambling, its freaking me out, but she needs to learn LOL.

 

[anjuschka]

Hiya, (btw mumsnet is over there > Letting your child go out alone | Pre-teens | Mumsnet)

my just-8-year old (Y4) has just started to go to school on her own - but really it was logistics that forced the issue. She only has to go right to the bottom of our (long) road, about 5 mins and no crossing of busy roads involved. She's also allowed to play out unsupervised but on the understanding that she does not cross the road.

Once a week she walks to the after-school club together, about 5 min walk they have to cross two quiet residential roads. We let them do it themselves with us mums following at a distance behind the first couple of times. I had no hesitation in letting them do this while the other mum was a bit more doubtful.

Only you can judge best. But you will need to let her practise esp if she needs to do it by herself soon.

 

[Paulinegin]

As the mum of a three year old, I think he's going to be about 20 before I feel brave enough to let him out on his own!

I feel your pain, DF

P x

 

[dukannotsofatty]

See now the thought of an 8 year old walking to school on own really freaks me out, but i do understand that needs must, and that there are a lot of children that do this. I found two documents on NSPCC site, 'home alone' and 'going out alone' apartantly its not till a child is 8 that they can judge spead and distances so crossing roads is too dangerous....we have a child at our school been going for a few years, and he's 10 now.

I talked to hubby and we are going to do practice runs, take her so far to the post office and let her go into shop for sweets and buy them, then maybe wait at the side street, and each visit I'll pull back further and further. So that by the time next Sept comes around she's going to and from the shops on her own, and as this is just past the bus stop I will know she is ok.

There is very few other places we go where she would have reason to go on her own. We go in the car.

 

[Eccab77]

As the mum of a three year old, I think he's going to be about 20 before I feel brave enough to let him out on his own!

I feel your pain, DF

P x

Same here P, 5yr old and I dont even want him upstairs on his own if the windows are open!!! lol I know its excessive but you read all this wierd stories like someone put child to bed, went downstairs and the child vanishes into thin air! Brad is already asking when he can go to his class alone!! I drive him there its 6 miles but I take him to class and hand him to the teacher!
Its a very difficult subject and I think its an individual judgement depending on the child and as a parent you would probably know when they are ready.

 

[dukannotsofatty]

I think my daughter probably feels she is ready now, but she is not street smart...has no real awareness of the ways of the street/path etc., we need to do it thoug as being so close to going up to high school means she will need to go out on own.

We're going to do it a bit at a time.

I agree its too scary what you read and hear about and thats why we do keep them to ourselves longer. I remember playing out in the back alley and side street at the age of 8. there were lots of children near us and we all played together, but the thought of letting my daughter out at 8 would have freaked me out LOL.

 

[Eccab77]

I agree its too scary what you read and hear about and thats why we do keep them to ourselves longer. I remember playing out in the back alley and side street at the age of 8. there were lots of children near us and we all played together, but the thought of letting my daughter out at 8 would have freaked me out LOL.

I know, in Zim children as young as 2 go out to play and you don't know where they are until meal times!! You should imagine me and Cornie when we took Brad home, people thought we were being all silly and big for our boots because every 5 mins we were running around looking for him!!!
The other suggestion is ask her to go own her own then follow discretely without her knowing you are following then see how she handles it.
x

 

[dukannotsofatty]

Hmm someone else suggested the discreet follow she'd likely see me though cos its a straight road LOL. not many places to hide. We'll get there LOL

 

[hike]

It seems that the world has become so overprotective that it makes us all question what we are doing even though logically we know we are being prudent. You know your daughter and the environment you live in best to know the answer. Just that you asked that indicates you've done a great job so far. Perhaps a few people will be judgemental of your decision, but those sort of people's opinion doesn't matter.

Where I live, the police say it is also the maturity of a child to be left home alone or be out and about. There are city curfews for minors... 10pm to 5am Sunday thru Thursday and 12 am to 5am Friday and Saturday.

 

[Belliebump]

It is a very difficult question and I think a lot depends on the maturity of a child as well as distance etc.
I work in a children's A&E department and see every distressing accident a child ( of any age) can have. Sadly it has turned me into a very protective mum who regularly lectures my daughter on road safety, general awareness of surroundings, stranger danger, alcohol etc etc! She's 16 now and I've finally accepted that she needs to become independent.....lol.

 

[dukannotsofatty]

Thanks for your answers my friends, it is a very cruel world, and thankfully my daughter does have a good head on her and when we do finally let her out and about I am sure she will know enough to keep safe...its just the other so and so's out there LOL.