What if.....? But supposing...? If only I....but I can't!!!!


Cambridge Diet Counsellor
Decisions, decisons, decisions!!!

Often we worry about losing things in the future. We worry about what might not happen and what the possible consequences may be if we don’t get it right.

If you spend time going back over your plans again and again but still fail to do anything then this one’s for you. If you always expect the worst then this one’s for you too and if you think that no matter how successful you have been it's all going to go wrong in the end then this one is definitely for you. And if you are not sure if you should read this but worry that you might miss something, then put it aside for a while, worry about it and then come back and read it later.

In other words this article is for people who like to worry a bit. It’s for the masters of the “what if” question and the “but” word. People who worry aren’t much fun to be around are they? They are always inside their heads concocting all the amazing possibilities that could go wrong, they hold back, they are negative in their language and they are brilliant at knowing all the details of all the things that will get in the way. Don’t you just love to spend time with people like this?

Let’s not confuse the process of doubt and being careful with worry. Having your doubts and being sure that you are doing the right thing is a very sensible thing to do. If you didn’t do this then you would get yourself into all sorts of trouble. The difference is the amount of emotion you use. Worry is a form of sadness mixed up with fear. Sadness is about loss and fear is about warning us of a potential danger. So worry is the fear of loss of some sort. Doubt can be done in a very positive way. You can say to yourself, “Is this the right way / best option?” and use these thoughts to help you make sure that you have made a good choice, then you can take action on what you need to do.

The problem comes when we are taken over by the fear and end up only responding to that rather than focussing on what we wanted in the first place. An optimist does exactly the same thing as a pessimist; they are just as enthusiastic and as observant to what may happen, they too look at possibilities. The only difference is that they focus on what is possible not what is not.

The real trick is to pay attention to what the fear is saying and ask yourself if it is really real or have you blown it up into unrealistic proportions. Good honest doubt has our emotions working for us. Worry means the emotions are running us.

Many people spend their life fearing what they may lose and so end up doing very little. Others get on with things and sometimes they do fail but, if I were to ask who achieves more and feels happier, who would you pick?

Here are a couple of great quotes for you:

Someone who does not make mistakes rarely makes anything at all.”

My life is full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.”

Outstanding things happen to outstanding people! :)
I am the queen of What If's
What a brilliant post

Diva - sometimes I think you have some freaky mind reading powers it is scary !!!!!!
LOL!!! Not a mind reader, hun.....just on the same journey! :)
I am a terrible worrier, always worrying about what could happen, Im also very pesemistic. But how do you change? How do I come more optimistic? and stop going over and over things that might not happen?

I just dont know how I can change?
And if you did know how to change what would be the first thing you would change?
Blimey... was just trailing through some old posts and came across this one. How apt for those that are currently struggling with getting their head in the game....