What I've Learned.

[JanD]

I keep saying I've learned loads on this Lipotrim Journey so I thought - as I'm nearing the end of this first stage - I should qualify that statement. For myself as much as anything.

I've learned that - contrary to what I believed (and worried about) for a LONG time - I CAN do without alcohol ... easily actually.
And that NOT drinking doesn't make a blind bit of difference to any occasion I might attend, or visit to the pub with friends or whatever.

Ditto food. It hasn't worried me in the least cooking for others, being out with people who are eating etc.
And not eating doesn't make a blind bit of difference to those occasions either.

Once or twice I've pointed out to people when they say "it's not fair" or "it's not right" that they're eating/drinking when I'm not, that this is their issue. If I'm quite happy with it, the fact that it bothers them isn't really my problem. And do you know what?? It stops right there - they carry on enjoying themselves and I've become convinced that what they say is just noises they make because they feel they should. Once they see I'm genuinely not bothered, they really don't care. (and that's great!)

I've learned that while I'm at work I don't need all the snacks I used to think I did "to keep me going through the night" - that I was having them out of habit, or boredom or whatever.
I've learned that I can feel I want/need something and just not have it .... the earth carries on turning, the sky stays up .... I just don't have to satisfy any cravings - they go away just the same.

I use to think that a regime like this was completely anti-social but in fact my life has carried on in exactly the same way - I have been to (and catered for actually) celebrations and get-togethers. Have been to the pub with DH every week. Been to the theatre a couple of times and even been away to Scotland for a 5 day break and I haven't strayed from the programme once. I've never even been tempted so I've had confirmed something that I already knew. If I put my mind to something and decide I'm going to do it I give it 100% and just don't allow thoughts of straying to enter my head.
So I'm still strong-minded (some might say stubborn - but I couldn't possibly comment )

I've learned that if there's one person you can trust to tell you the truth about smelly breath it's a small child ..

I've learned that water truly is life-enhancing and there's not one issue on this plan that can't be helped by copious amounts of it ... (including !!!)

I've learned to love sparkling water (used to hate it!) and flapjacks LOL!

I've learned that food is an addiction and that - just like any other substance that we think we can't do without - of course we can. And that using this plan to break that unhealthy addiction and taking the opportunity to identify the issues within that relationship can change the rest of our lives. Provided of course, having realised we don't NEED to be the way we were before, we don't slide back into old ways in the future.

I don't need to taste everything, or indeed ANYTHING I'm making.

I don't need to be a human dustbin for leftovers.

It is NOT a crime to put food in the bin.

Well I think that's probably enough to be going on with. Sorry this is so long. I'd love to hear what YOU'VE learned too! xxx

 

[moonlight]

Well worded Jan and echos a lot of what I have learned also.

I have also learned that so often we make excuses about why things are the way they are, blaming other people, circumstances when in actually fact I believe we are masters of our own destiny. If we don't take control of our lives, somebody/something else will.

Stay and live in the moment, go with your feelings but don't necessarily give in to them. Learn to listen to your body not your emotional mind.

Eat to nourish your body not to abuse it.

M

 

[JanD]

Well said M. And we thought we were just going on a 'diet' lol!

You've done brilliantly... so quickly! And only 6lbs to go .... You must feel great - you deserve to! x

 

[MiniB]

The main thing I've learnt is that I don't need to be eating all of the time!

I can go without snacking and it doesn't make a difference.

I can socialise without drinking or nibbling.

I can save a lot of money in the future by not eating the way I did before.

I am a lot stronger than I realised. Some may call it stubborn but I don't care. I set my mind to it and have lasted this long so far.

I can also be supportive to others sharing this journey.

But most of all I've learnt to be me again. I've missed being me and hiding behind so much fat. Like Jan said, I thought I was on this just to lose weight but I have learnt so much about not only my bad eating habits but also about myself, which I have enjoyed!

 

[kered]

Excellent thread Jan, well said.

I too went through most of what you have written when I was on TFR and I did worry a little about when I was refeeding, hoping that I could still be strong once the simplicity of 3 shakes a day were taken from me and I could actually choose what I was going to eat.

I can honestly say that in the 6 weeks + that I have been re-feeding, there was only one time that I had a little binge (not major) and that was one day after too much to drink the night before. I can now control those urges that used to come to me thinking I wanted something and once you ask yourself if you really do want/need it and the answer is no, my brain seems to accept that now.

Not saying I have conquered my food demons totally, but they are definitely getting further from the shore.

 

[*KEZZA*]

Well said Jan.

I have learned that I don't have to drink when I am out with friends or sitting in doors. Its cheaper too as I can drive home rather than get a cab.

And I don't have to eat or snack when others do. Sometimes if my OH got a snack from the kitchen then I would too. But y? Purely for the sake of it. But over the past few weeks I have sat there with my water whilst he has been in and out with snacks and I have been fine. He is one of these that dont put on weight but I do put it on so I need to be sensible about it.

And currently doing a cookery class for healthy eating too with my OH and just get him to taste the food instead which is not a problem. My sense of smell has got stronger for food and guided me in cooking rather than tasting.

Hope that I will be just as strong in my refeed as having salad and fruit will be a treat now compared to this.

 

[Yasmine]

I tip my hat off to you for this Jan. Very well said.

It's true, Lipotrim really does help us come to terms with the what's and why's of our weight gain.

One thing that I've learnt that I don't have to have all the crap I used to eat, and if I do want them, I can make healthy versions of it. Like tuna and mayonaise for example. Instead of mayo, I use Natural yoghurt .

Great thread Jan

 

[Aoife]

Brilliant thread. I'm only on week 3 and I am just learning that while I was dieting all these years, I've let my life revolved around food. I am currently learning to think about every day things without the intrusion of constantly planning what I should be eating etc.
Lipotrim is the business.

 

[Andsome]

JanD, your message has given me so much hope. The social side is my big worry.

I now know that I can stick to it at home and deal with the odd social occasion here, but I'm very concerned as to what to do on my summer holiday. If it was just me, hubby and daughter it would be easy, but we are going with friends.

Whats the best thing to do if I can't stay strong through 2 weeks in the sun?

 

[SUPASLIMMA]

Amen, Jan, Amen. Words of wisdom, born from experience is what everyone doing LT needs to hear. Thank-you for all the info you have posted on here that has really, really helped me personally on my LT journey. Even though I am now re-feeding, I still desperately need this site to stay focussed and to keep my mind on track as I know how easily I can slip into old habits, so I'll be popping on here as well as on the refeeding forum....

 

[summergurl]

Ditto food. It hasn't worried me in the least cooking for others, being out with people who are eating etc.
And not eating doesn't make a blind bit of difference to those occasions either.


I've learned that water truly is life-enhancing and there's not one issue on this plan that can't be helped by copious amounts of it ... (including !!!)

I've learned that food is an addiction and that - just like any other substance that we think we can't do without - of course we can. And that using this plan to break that unhealthy addiction and taking the opportunity to identify the issues within that relationship can change the rest of our lives. Provided of course, having realised we don't NEED to be the way we were before, we don't slide back into old ways in the future.

I don't need to taste everything, or indeed ANYTHING I'm making.

Fantastic thread Jan

Completly agree with all you have said (except the sparkling water and flapjacks bit lol) especially the bits i've quoted above

Your an inspiration woman

 

[JanD]

Thank you very much for all your lovely words here and privately ... I think the BEST thing about this thread is it seems to be getting the thinking going which is half (if not more!) of the battle!

If I'm able to help anyone else on this journey that really is a bonus!

Andsome - if you don't think staying TFRing on your summer hol is feasible you would need to do a proper refeed for at least a week, probably better to do 2 beforehand, be as sensible as you can whilst away and get straight back to it when you're back.
Others have done it and not done too much damage, indeed still lost weight in some cases. The main thing is don't worry about it, there are ways round everything and things are NEVER as bad as you think they might be.
Have a read around or start a thread asking how others have done it ... you'll always get the help on here!

Lots of love to all xxx

 

[loulouless]

Well done Jan, you are an inspiration to lots of us and lots of those words ring true to me.

 

[Doirin]

JanD,
a really great thread, very real and inspiring. I could tick off most of what you said as being where I hope to be when I am finishing my lipotrim journey. It is great to see reconditioning coming into play when food is to be introduced. You make me ever hopeful.
Doirin

 

[Andsome]

JanD, thanks for your advice - feeling more relaxed about it already.

 

[RachieRoo]

Just came across your thread Jan very well said... and do you know what having been refeeding for almost three weeks now, for the first time in my life I am 'relaxed' around food. I don't 'need' it like I used to! I just enjoy it, I think I maybe free from the 'Diet Trap!'

 

[JanD]

Just came across your thread Jan very well said... and do you know what having been refeeding for almost three weeks now, for the first time in my life I am 'relaxed' around food. I don't 'need' it like I used to! I just enjoy it, I think I maybe free from the 'Diet Trap!'

Hooray!!! Great realisation!! That's exactly what I hope to (and feel I may) discover in a few weeks time. x

And thanks everybody xx

 

[moonlight]

Hi Jan

I had to disappear to work this morning and didn't get a chance to reply.

Yes, I am delighted with the weight loss and would love to conquer those last 6 pounds. I am definitely going to give it a try.

Having lost the weight before using Lipo and put the majority of it back on, doing Lipo for the second time was always going to be different for me.

What Lipo did was to give my head space to think and remove my food love/hate relationship from the equation. That thinking was and is a very important part of this journey for me and something I didn't pay enough attention to on my first flirt with TFR. It took putting the weight back on over a couple of years for me to realise that my problem wasn't food per se but my reaction to emotional issues be they happy or sad. That reaction was to eat. I can see now that I even surrounded myself with people who did the same thing and we just spurred each other on. No amount of food was too much. Sure you only live once!

When I did some soul searching, it really is incredible how little I valued myself as a person. My two boys were beautifully dressed, I worked hard, the house was immaculate, I did all I could for my husband but absolutely nothing for myself. I hid behind all the things and people I considered my successes and continued to despise myself because I couldn't control my eating. I didn't want to be Twiggy just "normal". I also wanted to be able to hold my head up and be counted.

So Lipotrim came on the scene again but only as a way of getting to refeed because now my real journey begins. My head is in a good place at the moment, lets hope it stays there.

I have found this forum truly inspirational and have to say had I not found it, and in particular a few of you experienced posters, I don't how my refeed would have gone. The encouragement here has been tremendous and crucial for me.

I'm loving refeed, trying my best to plan ahead and best of all my hubby couldn't be more supportive if he tried.

Thank you all so much.

M

 

[JanD]

Hi M,
It sounds like you've had a lot of soul searching going on and if it took losing the weight and regaining it to help you discover all this, then in many ways I guess it was worth it.

We all have our own paths through this life and sometimes it can take many similar or repeated experiences for us to 'get' what lesson it is we're supposed to be learning. When we do we can do things differently and move on. Then the next time we meet a similar experience we have a new blue-print on how to react and deal with it.

Thank you so much for sharing all this with us.

I'm so glad you have the support you need at home and wish you all the luck in the world. xx

 

[moonlight]

Thanks Jan, you're a darling