What the hell happened :*(

[Size14isallIask!]

I'm 26 years old, and today I weight 16st 9lb. I feel like my whole life has been spent being overweight/made to feel rubbish about myself.
Lately I found a picture of when I was 15 and "fat!" (per my "friends") yet looking at that photo today I would kill to have that body.
Today (in the process of moving house) I found my first ever weight watchers card - a whole 10 years has passed ... and a whole 4 stone has been added, all I ask is WHY!?

What the hell have I let happen to myself, If i was 'fat' back then, how did I let myself get even worse???

Last year (infact two years ago this Sunday) I was undergoing a big operation to donate my kidney to my Mum, if my BMI wasnt under 30 they wouldnt do it, in 4 months I managed to loose 2 stone to get down to the required BMI .. how ... I DONT KNOW!!

Since then, I've put it all back on and more.

I was advised that day my weight should stay as it was or lower to not put unncessary strain on my remaining kidney ... so why am I doing this to myself??
Why am I slowly killing myself?? Why do I stand and watch myself putting biscuits/bagels/whatever crap it is in my mouth??????

I've completely lost it all, I dont even feel like by writing this post its enough. What do I need to do?? How can I change my mindset, and why do I just let this happen to myself??

:cry:

 

[Alana]

I think alot of us have been in this place....i for one still am, but by coming on here perhaps something has clicked and you have realised its time to make a change.
Nothing ever happens overnight and if possible re-joining a group for added motivation can only help.
I go through stages where i am so motivated and then i go back to my old ways, but something seems to have clicked inside me now and i actually feel its the right time to do this.

I hope this helps in someway - your not alone in your feelings and this site is great for daily snippets of motivation, and ********* too!

Good luck xx

 

[Sweet as pie]

I was the same a couple of months ago my weight gradually went up and up for as long as i could remember despite all the diets i have tried sometimes i would just look in the mirror and burst out crying wondering how i could do this to myself why i just couldnt stick to it and lose the weight as i wanted it so much. My sisters decided they were all going to start weight watchers again (they are all much thinner than me only about a stone to lose each) i didnt want to as couldnt really afford the money each week but have tried it at home and do well for a week or so then give up. Had a think about it and said to myself realisticaly for me i wouldnt be able to lose the weight myself at home and maybe the money each week is worth it so i joined with my sisters and sister in law and so so happy i did as have lost a stone so far and hopefully will keep loosing it. Had a bad week last week but back on track this week and my head it in the right place again.

All im saying is its not too late to start losing the weight, by coming on here and saying what you did maybe you finally have had enough and your head is in the right place to finally lose the weight hopefully it will work for you this time

 

[pudnpie]

Hi. You are so much more than what you weigh. You haven't lost everything. You make it sound like the years have been a waste. There must have been good times you have had during that time. Maybe great holidays or mad nights out with friends. Perhaps things you have achieved at work or in education? And you gave someone a kidney! That's an amazing gift and makes you a very special person. Give yourself a break.

Your weight is only a tiny bit of what you are. Everyone has something that they are perhaps not very good at. Mine happens to be managing my weight. But that doesn't make me a write off as a person.

Perhaps try making a list of all the things you have to be grateful for over the years - things you have done, achieved or enjoyed however small and hopefully the good will outweigh the not so good.

Of course, your weight is a big factor in your health but you cannot change what has happened so focus on what you can do to put it right rather than what has been.

 

[sarahevans]

Youve done so well just line under and start afresh

 

[Jojocircus75]

Gosh u need to be kinder to yourself! Like others mentioned u gave a kidney! U need to start finding the nice things that you like about yourself. I have felt like this before but I found some great books that deal with " emotional eating" & why we do it. Alot of mine is because of low self esteem etc. Believe in yourself & go for it x

 

[SammieAnn87]

:bighug:aaawwww hun!
believe me we have all been there and felt in some way the way u have/do! I was always the 'fat' one out of my friends and I too look bk over those pictures n think WOW I would love to look like that now!
you have made ur first step by coming on here and telling us how u feel, are you going alone or going to group? there are so many lovely ladies on here always willing to help and ur not alone on here feeling the way u do
xxxxxxxxxxxx