What the hell is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by Mellum, 3 January 2010 Social URL.

  1. Mellum

    Mellum Glug Glug Glug

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    Ive had so many "restarts" on this diet its ridiculous.

    My weight has crept up to an awful 17+ stone, i dont know the exact as i find to so depressing to look at it now.

    I use the phrase "Ill start the diet tomorrow"...ive been saying this for over a year!!!

    And as i know this diet works i have a big ..and i hate this word..Binge in the vain hope that i actually will start this diet again.

    Its got to the point where i hate going out incase i bump into anyone.

    Ive realised i HAVE to start this diet tomorrow as whilst i was taking my daughter to see her dad i bumped into more then 5 people i havent seen in a long time. And i KNOW that they where thinking "My god shes gotten so fat" it was just so humiliating.

    I really want to start this diet properly this time but i seem to fall at the first day.

    I think if i dont do it this time im in serious trouble.
     
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  3. rainbow brite

    rainbow brite ~Starsprinkled~

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    Babe. You're not on your own in this. Look at me! Right back to where I started. I know exactly how you feel. I haven't seen my own family in over a year because I don't want them to see the weight I've gained.

    Shall we make a pact? Hold each other accountable?

    If I eat you eat. If you eat I eat.

    Fattothin made this promise to me when I first started LT and caved after 4 days. Once I realised that if I failed I'd be failing him I knew I simply couldn't let him down because I knew he'd keep to his promise.

    What do you say?
     
  4. Mellum

    Mellum Glug Glug Glug

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    I say your on!

    I remember you posting waaay back when i first started so its lovely to see a face i recognise :)

    Its so difficult when you look back and see the weight that you lost has piled right back on, and then more in my case. And all that money wasted!

    But im feeling optimistic, plus i have a weightloss buddy now. Yay!
     
  5. covkirst83

    covkirst83 Full Member

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    u can do it mellum ;-)
     
  6. Mellum

    Mellum Glug Glug Glug

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    Thanks covkirst :), i think im in the right frame of mind to actually hit my goal this time for sure.

    You'll be at your own target in no time!
     
  7. rainbow brite

    rainbow brite ~Starsprinkled~

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    Right, so let's get completely serious. Have you already got your supply? If so then tomorrow is D-Day :)

    I want you to do several things. First of all at some point over the next few days trawl through your favourite online clothes stores and find a few outfits that you've fallen in love with. Save the pictures in a special 'inspiration' folder on your pc. Doing this you can look through the pics of the clothes that you WILL be fitting into in just a few short months.

    Don't forget about keeping busy. I know you've got a little one so that should be pretty easy but in the evenings when she's in bed and you're feeling the temptation to munch please come on here and distract yourself.

    Take all of your measurements. All of them, even wrists and thighs. Write them down and compare week to week so that even if you get a disappointing WI you can see if you've lost inches.

    Take before pictures. This is important as we seem to forget how big we were when we've lost weight and it'll be useful to have a reminder not to go munching things we shouldn't.

    Have a look on the Internet and find a few 'thinspiration' quotes. None of the extreme ones like the pro-anorexia sites promote but nice ones.

    Keep repeating these positive things to yourself. If you don't believe it you won't achieve it honey.

    I'm sure I can think of a few more things but I wanted to get this typed up quickly so you could see it.

    You can do it honey, I know you can and so can I. I mean it when I say that if you eat I will too...

    So chin up and let's get ourselves looking fabulous!

    *hugs*

    rbx:rainbow:
     
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  8. covkirst83

    covkirst83 Full Member

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    hi RB

    i liked wot u sed about "if you dont believe it then u wont achieve it". i cant imagine ever gettin to my target weight. i need 2 believe in myself !

    hi mellum

    let us know wen ur startin an u will get lots of support from every1 x
     
  9. rainbow brite

    rainbow brite ~Starsprinkled~

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    You certainly do need to start believing in yourself because if you don't love and respect yourself enough to believe it you can't expect anyone else to.

    rbx:rainbow:
     
  10. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself! You haven't failed until you've stopped trying and you sound like you have the determination in you somewhere I can just tell. You need to stop hiding because you have nothing to be ashamed of, all of us here on minimins have found ourselves heavier than we ever thought we'd be but sometimes this can be the turning point or the thing that gives us the real kick up the bum that we need. Start being more positive about yourself, while you're at it write down 5 things you've done that you're proud of and stick it where you can see it every day. You will be successful and make this the last time you 'restart'!
     
  11. CherryRocks

    CherryRocks I love my purdy shoes

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    Mellum I know exactly how you feel and i'm on anti-depressants because of it. I worked so hard to get 6 stone off and felt amazing when I acheived it and I ruined it all and put 4 back on. So i'm back on here like you and Rainbow. I'm with you both for the journey and this time i'm making sure I come on here all the time.
    I wish you all the luck in the world, lets inspire each other on the forums x

    Rainbow you give very good advice xxxx
     
  12. covkirst83

    covkirst83 Full Member

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    i do have low self esteem but maybe if i lost the weight then i wud feel good about myself x
     
  13. rainbow brite

    rainbow brite ~Starsprinkled~

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    Kirst - unfortunately it's a catch 22. We eat. Get fat. Feel bad. Eat. Get fatter. Feel worse. This only leads to a downwards spiral of self-loathing and feeling worthless. The thing we need to remember is that not a single one of us here is worthless.

    You know I sometimes feel hypocritical harping on about how people need to love themselves when I so clearly don't follow my own advice but I think we all need to give ourselves a break, see how wonderful and unique every one of us is in our own right, recognise the achievements we've made and start accepting our flaws for what they are - flaws don't make us bad, they make us human.

    What say you ladies - make 2010 the year we love ourselves for once?
     
  14. rainbow brite

    rainbow brite ~Starsprinkled~

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    And thank you Cherry - nice to see you ready to get super sexy with us :)
     
  15. Mellum

    Mellum Glug Glug Glug

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    Aww thankyou girls :D, thats really made me more determind as cheesy as thats sounds! I always forget how supportive this board is and its lovely to see :)

    I bought a couple of retro dresses a while back that im going to use as a goal and a pair of yummy jeans that would look fantastic on if im about 4 stone lighter lol.

    I do indeedy have my supply, ive got 4 weeks worth left before i need to go to the chemist so i can kick start it all tomorrow :D

    Once again, thanks girls really appreciate the kind words of encouragement! x
     
  16. covkirst83

    covkirst83 Full Member

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    yeh we need 2 focus on the positives and not the negatives! x
     
  17. rainbow brite

    rainbow brite ~Starsprinkled~

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    Glad to see you sounding more positive Mellum sweetie!! It'll be smooth-sailing and don't forget - the food WILL be there when you finish (in moderation :D). I find that repeating that to myself always helps because it's not like you CAN'T have food, you're just choosing not to have some for a while.

    Come on girlies - let's rock this diet and show that fat who's boss!!

    :party0011: :party0011: :party0011: :party0011: :party0011: :party0011:
     
  18. Mellum

    Mellum Glug Glug Glug

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    Lol, i guess i'll be smelling other peoples food instead of eating it for a couple of months..
    Rightyo, im off to bed so i can kick start it all tomorrow :)
    night girlies xx
     
  19. Scotsmist

    Scotsmist Life is not a Rehersal!

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    Absolutely fab advice from Rainbow...will be taking them up myself!!!!

    There are a lot of us restarters this January....and yes, we shouldnt be at this place again, but, WE ARE and we have to deal with it.

    Dont be negative and keep positive...you are now doing something about it, which is the first step!! Well done and reckon 2010 is going to be our year and our decade !!!
     
  20. skinnyminnycoming

    skinnyminnycoming Full Member

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    Good luck Mellum......you can do it and if you do feel a 'wobble' coming on log on here. I found this place to be a godsend (especially when I got to the point where I ever thought the cat food smelt nice!!)

    x
     
  21. nerac123

    nerac123 GO GO GO !!

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    Eeewwww Cat food... don't think I'd do that - although I have taken a slice of pizza out of the bin to smell it - eww, i'm disgusting !! sorry !
     
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