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What was/is your 'cause'?

Ie... what made you put on weight? In the majority of the cases it's eating too much, and not exercising enough. But why do/did you eat so much?

For me, I was always an average sized child. I had a bit of a tummy, but I ate healthy foods, and it really was just a little puppy fat. I was 9st from the age of 11 - 14. I know that sounds a lot, but I developed quickly and had large breasts from a young age. I was in proportion. Unfortunately I got teased for being fat at school. I remember one day a few of us girls were discussing our weight with the guys, and we were all about the same - but one guy couldn't believe that I was the same weight as them. I must be heavier as I was so fat!

So I started comfort eating. But in secret, so that no one else could see me eat. Which turned into secret bingeing. Then I started to make myself sick, that only lasted a month though, I really didn't enjoy it and didn't have the 'will power' to keep putting myself through it!

I gradually got bigger and bigger until I was size 16 when I was going to college. Then I dropped out of college when I was 17 and started working. I lost about 2 and a half, or 3 stone in about 7 months. I was size 12/14 and happy! Then I met my ex, and didn't want him to think I was thinking about diets all the time (all the magazines tell you that guys don't like girls who are on diets all the time! :) ), so every now and then when I saw him in the evening, I'd have a take away with him - even though I'd had a cooked dinner at home already.

We started dating in the October (2002), in the February we moved far away from home and I was up to a 14/16. I can honestly say I wasn't happy with my ex, and had to fake it to everyone else whenever we visited relatives, or they visited us. I even faked my happiness with my ex. I was all alone (he worked very long hours), 250 miles away from family and friends... and so I turned to food again. By the August I was up to size 18. By Christmas 20... October of last year I was a size 24 and had been for a while.

I'm a very emotional eater. When I'm happy I eat, when I 'reward myself' it's with food (I hate clothes shopping), when I'm sad I eat, angry, eat, annoyed, eat, bored, eat... Every feeling/emotion under the sun... I eat.

The more I look in the mirror and hate what I see, the more I eat. I really don't know what I can do to stop this emotional link with food.

Any ideas, please write them on a postcard! :)
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Im a comfort eater.

My dad was a violent alcoholic........
My exhusband is an acholic.........
I spent 8 years trying to have a Baby.........
I have suffered badly from depression.........
I spend alot of time on my own........
I have PCOD..........
I have had a rocky current relationship.........

There are lots more very personal things that have happened to me and when I cant cope I turn to my friend ''food :( ''

Thats Me

I'm not very good at this self-psychoanalysis-stuff and I can't in all honesty blame anyone else or anything else, despite all the crap flung my way throughout my life. Other people have crap and don't turn out the way I have!!

I guess I'm just a lazy glutton :rolleyes: :D


Back on the wagon :-)
After decades of obese navel gazing I have concluded that I have a compulsive personality. I've never done anything in moderation and food has been no different.

Bum! I always thought that if I could diagnose it then I could fix it ...