I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. I even remember, as a fairly young person, spending my money on family bags of crisps and other "goodies", then hiding them in my wardrobe and eating in secret. To this day I have no idea why. I remember being very lonely as a school child, convinced no-one liked me because I was fat. At my primary school they even made up songs about me, size related. I can hear them word for word to this day.
I have struggled with this for years, despite having huge support from my Mum. who was a Type 1 diabetic, slender and lovely! She worried about me terribly, as I got bigger and bigger. My Dad, on theother hand, much as I love him, was always a bit chunky, and if he fancied "seconds" at the dinner table, he would always say "Go on Sarah, lets have another bit then..."
Life happened in between, and on a low-ish weight time I met my gorgeous husband of almost 17 years. We have been together for over 20 years, good and bad! In 2003 my Father in law died within 6 weeks of his cancer diagnosis, then 3 months later my Mum died, very suddenly of heart problems. She had been Christmas shopping the day before and despite her many health problems had had a great time. That was the start of my catalyst towards weight loss.
I played with dieting, did Slimming World for a while, lost about 3 stone, left and gained it all back & more besides. Things at home were getting worse. I still loved my hubby but no physical contact as I was too ashamed of myself. We had so many heated discussions over this one. It was really sad.
In August of last year the family went to Alton Towers. I was totally shocked and sickened when I realised I was so gross I could not fit in the rides I so wanted to go on. That thought kind of festered with me for ages; my rebellious child shouted loud and long (I know that now) that it wasnt fair and not my fault etc etc. I consoled myself with food.
My marriage became more and more rocky, sex had become utterly non-existent and OH was so unhappy, not just with my lack of libido but with us in general. I suppose I had really hit rock bottom in January of this year, when I poured it all out to a very close friend. She immediately told me to contact another pal of hers, who I had met briefly once or twice before. Within an hour of this call, this mutual acquaintance was at my dining table, telling me everything she could about LL. She is, to date, almost at her BMI 25, and has been on LL since November 2006. I rang my LLC and here I am today.
I know I mutter and moan about my struggles with LL, but honestly I am a different person now. I feel so much better, more healthy, and I am not the freak I felt myself to be. My sex life is still very limited, but my confidence is growing, and my lovely, patient husband is so pleased that I am doing something to both help myself and us.
Thanks LL and thanks Minimins too!
(sorry if I have rambled! Theres so much more I could say, but thats the smallest nutshell I could fit it in!!)