It's great to know that you have that level of control, though, and I have read very carefully what you say about 'eating in the moment' and with thought & attention. I think these are the things that will make a difference for me.
Two and a half months since last binge... doesn't sound much, but is the longest time I have ever gone without doing this for more years than I can remember. I have eaten things I shouldn't have, but not much, and these haven't led to loss of control. And yes, emotional triggers and food triggers, both are very real for me. I think by admitting to it and trying to work on it, I have made some kind of step forward. It had to stop, it was a kind of self-harm, and though it probably evolved as a tactic to help me feel better, it very fast became another way to make sure I stayed sad/bad/hating myself.
Thanks for a post that has really helped me Nex... and seeing how far you have come and how strong you are now is inspiring. I can't see me as the sporty type, but there is a strength in me to beat this and I feel very positive about it, though I know somehow that the battle will always be going on at some level. Still, better to accept that and be up for it, and I am.
Feel I have learned something here, so hugs for that.
xxx