What's your relationship with food?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by goodlard, 10 October 2011 Social URL.

  1. goodlard

    goodlard Olivia

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    So I just posted in the somewhat contentious boundary pushers thread (;)) about large people already feeling judgement about their eating habits, and I realised that perhaps this isn't true; maybe it only applies to me and I project my condition on to others.

    I look at myself in the mirror and wonder "how did I get so fat?" The truth is I have a very complicated relationship with food. It's not sustenance to me, it's a friend. A comforter. A prize. A celebration. An enemy. An addiction. I'm not big purely through the love of food. I'm gluttonous, for sure, but it's not just about the sensuality of taste. It's so much more emotional than that. It upsets me when people make comments, either to me or on newspaper articles etc, about obese people, when those comments can be summarised as "you fat pig". Nobody wants to feel misunderstood, and anyone who looks at me and makes that kind of assumption is greatly misunderstanding me. And it's not that I want to be portrayed as a martyr either: I'm not here blaming my genes, or telling you that I eat really well and don't know where this weight has come from. Of course I know: I devoured every calorie. But for people to think that I am this way solely through greed is really upsetting. That's not seeing me as a person, that's seeing my size and making a judgement on who I am as a result, e.g. lazy, decadent, selfish.

    Is anyone here purely because they like food/drink and have consumed too much? Or do you have psychological connections to food, which you need to address as you go along your CD journey?
     
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  3. harrisje

    harrisje Member

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    i turn to food when i am bored, depressed and i know i have to stop. gained a stone recently on top of my already overweight body and decided to act. Day 7 of CD and 7lbs off so really pleased
     
  4. FeeneyFooFoo

    FeeneyFooFoo Full Member

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    food is a HUGE part of my life...

    I think about it, talk about it, love to cook, watch it on TV, the smell the taste, everything.

    It's a celebration, commiseration, good day,bad day, any day...

    doing CD for 4+ weeks has made me think about this a lot, and realise I don't NEED it, hopefully when I go back to real food I will maintain this realisation
     
  5. spangles

    spangles Bouncy Castle

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    i have an abusive relationship with food, and have suffered with binge eating disorder on and off for nearly ten years. but i don't often feel judged for my weight. even at a size 24 i've always been chatted up, and i'm popular enough at work. (Does that sound bigheaded? - I hate myself, it's just i don't think anyone else does). I expect i've been lucky.
     
  6. lauren-1986

    lauren-1986 Feeling Motivated

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    I have used food as a means of combatting boredom or also as an emotional crutch.

    I have realised since starting CD that often, I ate because I had nothing to do ( at weekends) or would also eat to make myself feel better ( e.g when stressed at work).

    I never had any 'binges' of eating large amounts, but simply over-ate each day throughout the week.
     
  7. pandorasinbox

    pandorasinbox Queen Geek

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    My relationship with food used to be utterly appalling: compulsive eating, binge eating, comfort eating, boredom eating, eating ridiculously huge portions, pinching food from cupboards during the night as a child, constant need to clear my plate, shame eating in private, always feeling like I was being judged for my food choices/portions. The works!

    I've got so much better over the years, which is why I felt finally ready to shed the weight for good. The only things on that list I now really need to nail down are my portion sizes and boredom eating, but seem to have found workarounds for them (here's to hoping!)

    My relationship with food has always been far from perfect, but I've been actively fighting them for the past 10 years so hoping to have nipped them in the bud now!
     
    Last edited: 10 October 2011
  8. jessicacaca

    jessicacaca Full Member

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    I literally just love food!
    It's quite simple for me, I am a simple beast with simple needs and food meets most of them.
    I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat to celebrate, to commiserate, to reward, etc etc. The list goes on.
    I don't think I have or ever have had an eating disorder. When people talk about re-educating themselves about food and changing their eating habits, I don't believe I will ever do this, my best scenario will be to get to 10 stone and not go a stone above this before I reign it in for a month to lose it all again.
    It ain't right, but it's honest!
    Xx
     
  9. posterofagirl

    posterofagirl Full Member

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    I don't really like food that much.

    I eat crap because I don't care enough not to and I tend to eat whatever's easiest.

    If I'm honest I only really like crisps.

    Part of the reason I like CD is that food is sorted and I don't have to deal with it.
     
  10. myrtlemoo

    myrtlemoo Full Member

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    hmmmm my relationship with food... I love it. Like others here, it's used in times of great joy to celebrate and in times of great despair to comfort (and every time in between).

    It's an emotional crutch - when going through stressful times, I turn to food. I've a really hard time at home with this as my hubby doesn't understand that addiction - he smokes and that's his emotional crutch, he just doesn't realise that my eating is the same.

    As I've posted in another thread, secret eating is following me at the minute and that's the issue I'm trying to deal with - it's not easy but hopefully as time goes on, I'll get there! I'm tired of getting judged by how I look but the self esteem issues over the years had persuaded me that I deserved those looks of disgust - hoping to also get past that and start valuing myself and being proud to be seen both by others and when I look in the mirror.

    Wow... didn't realise I had so much baggage until I started typing but it's good to put it in writing to people who understand a bit of what you're going through. Thanks ladies :)
     
  11. Jayellekay

    Jayellekay this time - the last time

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    I turned to food when my parents divorced. Id eat all day, so Id feel nothing.
    I eat when I'm angry, eat when I'm sad, eat when I'm frustrated.
    Very rarely did I sit down and enjoy a meal. Instead I would scoff whilst at my desk, or whilst watching tv, or whilst reading.
    I didn't feel very much at all for 7years.

    At meal times my portions are small, incase whomever I'm eating with think I'm a fat pig. I don't like to be watched.

    I eat when noone is watching. Does a tree falling in a forest with noone around make a sound? If I eat and noone sees - do the calories count?

    This year I have learnt that I am an emotional wreck.
    Frustrated at work - I no longer run to the cafe for a bar of chocolate - so now I run to the toilet and cry. Not a good transition.

    Not sure where to go next. Not sure which reaction is best. Not sure how to change.
     
  12. borntofly

    borntofly In it to win it.

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    I binge for a lot of reasons. If I'm happy, sad or feeling sorry for myself. I've got a big test on Thursday, weather permitting and I'm going to prove to myself I can deal with stress without turning to food. I've been tempted to binge as I'm really stressed but I've resisted so far.

    I'm hoping if I can prove to myself I can deal with a stressful thing without food once, then I can do it again and again. But I'd say stress is biggest cause of my binging.

    Ive also barred myself from eating in my car too as I'm prone to driving somewhere quiet with a carrier bag full of junk and randomly stuffing my face to the point I'm always sick.

    So wether Thursday goes well or not, I'm determined to stay one plan 100%
     
  13. Sapphireblue

    Sapphireblue Full Member

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    i think that probably is an improvement, at least you won't be putting weight on and feeling even more crap afterwards.

    it seems a lot of people who emotionally eat are finding their emotions all over the place on this diet. as you start to adjust hopefully you'll find that your emotions calm down.
     
  14. Jayellekay

    Jayellekay this time - the last time

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    Thanks. I hope so.10 months in - and no progress yet!

    (though clearly once I'm at goal - I'll never cry, as life will be perfect! (joke!))
     
  15. goodlard

    goodlard Olivia

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    Jayellekay, that's so awful that you feel that way. Nobody should be crying in the toilets on their lunch break. You need to take a big look at all the things that are bringing you down.

    I wondered if it would be worth starting a "group therapy" kind of thread, for people who want to talk about the emotional issues behind their eating problems. I think it's interesting that LL offer this kind of service, but I'd hate to have to talk about my problems in a big group. I'm shy enough as it is. Here, behind the safety of the screen, it might be easier for people to open up. What do you think? Would anyone be interested in talking about that? Exploring why we binge, sharing the thought processes behind that and our connections to food, and how those issues might manifest now that food is being taken out of the equation. I do think, certainly for me, at least, I need to work on my brain just as much as my body, and not just in terms of portion sizes/attitude to food etc. I need other ways of exploring and conquering my insecurities, and maybe other people would like to discuss the same?
     
  16. goodlard

    goodlard Olivia

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    Borntofly - good luck on your test! I'll be thinking of you. What are you studying?
     
  17. LENNY4974

    LENNY4974 Silver Member

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    Hi Ladies,

    I am also an emotional eater, happy, sad, bored etc I have always in the past turned to food. Portion sizes had become a problem too - I will not blame anything other than me consuming the calories for the size I had become.

    I had been doing really well on CD until this last week, when I found myself down because of stresses at work, arguments with OH and finances and I turned to a packet of custard creams. TBH they didn't really help and made me feel even worse, my scales haven't thanked me either.:(

    I have decided to draw a line under last week (it was TOTM as well). It is the first time since starting back on CD after having my son that I have really lapsed so I need to forgive myself and move on.

    My size isn't the issue anymore and I don't feel I'm being judged - in fact people keep telling me to give up on the diet now that I have lost loads:rolleyes:
    I have realised that I don't NEED food but I want to continue the steps to see if I can adjust my thinking about food and hopefully by maintenance I will think of comforts and rewards as things other than food. (I'm not there just yet).

    Chocolate will always be a weakness though!

    Good luck to everyone xxx We will get there! x
     
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