So I just posted in the somewhat contentious boundary pushers thread () about large people already feeling judgement about their eating habits, and I realised that perhaps this isn't true; maybe it only applies to me and I project my condition on to others.
I look at myself in the mirror and wonder "how did I get so fat?" The truth is I have a very complicated relationship with food. It's not sustenance to me, it's a friend. A comforter. A prize. A celebration. An enemy. An addiction. I'm not big purely through the love of food. I'm gluttonous, for sure, but it's not just about the sensuality of taste. It's so much more emotional than that. It upsets me when people make comments, either to me or on newspaper articles etc, about obese people, when those comments can be summarised as "you fat pig". Nobody wants to feel misunderstood, and anyone who looks at me and makes that kind of assumption is greatly misunderstanding me. And it's not that I want to be portrayed as a martyr either: I'm not here blaming my genes, or telling you that I eat really well and don't know where this weight has come from. Of course I know: I devoured every calorie. But for people to think that I am this way solely through greed is really upsetting. That's not seeing me as a person, that's seeing my size and making a judgement on who I am as a result, e.g. lazy, decadent, selfish.
Is anyone here purely because they like food/drink and have consumed too much? Or do you have psychological connections to food, which you need to address as you go along your CD journey?
I look at myself in the mirror and wonder "how did I get so fat?" The truth is I have a very complicated relationship with food. It's not sustenance to me, it's a friend. A comforter. A prize. A celebration. An enemy. An addiction. I'm not big purely through the love of food. I'm gluttonous, for sure, but it's not just about the sensuality of taste. It's so much more emotional than that. It upsets me when people make comments, either to me or on newspaper articles etc, about obese people, when those comments can be summarised as "you fat pig". Nobody wants to feel misunderstood, and anyone who looks at me and makes that kind of assumption is greatly misunderstanding me. And it's not that I want to be portrayed as a martyr either: I'm not here blaming my genes, or telling you that I eat really well and don't know where this weight has come from. Of course I know: I devoured every calorie. But for people to think that I am this way solely through greed is really upsetting. That's not seeing me as a person, that's seeing my size and making a judgement on who I am as a result, e.g. lazy, decadent, selfish.
Is anyone here purely because they like food/drink and have consumed too much? Or do you have psychological connections to food, which you need to address as you go along your CD journey?