when did it become the Forum for the Rightious!!

[x-lizbif-x]

I think I'm missing something here then as I thought it was just in reference to general threads!

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

It was in general over the forum not specifically at 1 thread/ statement

 

[Roziee]

On I'm chucking my 2 pence worth too.

I do see a lot of the same users patronising or just being rude to people, especially to the newbies.

What puzzles me is, if you don't like something that someone has said, why take the time out to be nasty to them? If you're tired of reading the same things over and over again- and yes- it's bloody tiresome reading them.. Just ignore them! Lol it's not like someone is forcing you to reply to them..
If someone is personally attacking YOU, ok I can understand why you would be involved but this is a forum and I think sometimes we forget that although some people may see things the wrong way- there is a human being behind the screen and God forbid to think that something I said affected someone badly.

The main section is horrible sometimes.. And I've been on minimins for ages.

Healthy debating is good. Nastiness is just unnecessary.

 

[clairex]

On I'm chucking my 2 pence worth too.

I do see a lot of the same users patronising or just being rude to people, especially to the newbies.

What puzzles me is, if you don't like something that someone has said, why take the time out to be nasty to them? If you're tired of reading the same things over and over again- and yes- it's bloody tiresome reading them.. Just ignore them! Lol it's not like someone is forcing you to reply to them..
If someone is personally attacking YOU, ok I can understand why you would be involved but this is a forum and I think sometimes we forget that although some people may see things the wrong way- there is a human being behind the screen and God forbid to think that something I said affected someone badly.

The main section is horrible sometimes.. And I've been on minimins for ages.

Healthy debating is good. Nastiness is just unnecessary.

This is everything I wanted to add in a neat little package!

 

[Starlight]

Speaking as a Moderator for a minute, considering the massive amount of posts people seem to find rude or offensive or whatever, there are very few of them get highlighted or reported.

If theres all this nastiness around, do something about it, either report the posts or PM me. I have my Minimins email account configured to my Blackberry so get instant notification of PMs/reported posts and assuming I have my ipad handy or am near a PC Ill respond to them immediately.

 

[Roziee]

Speaking as a Moderator for a minute, considering the massive amount of posts people seem to find rude or offensive or whatever, there are very few of them get highlighted or reported.

If theres all this nastiness around, do something about it, either report the posts or PM me. I have my Minimins email account configured to my Blackberry so get instant notification of PMs/reported posts and assuming I have my ipad handy or am near a PC Ill respond to them immediately.

Good point. I forget you can do that on the iPhone app too.

 

[Shirleen]

Speaking as a Moderator for a minute, considering the massive amount of posts people seem to find rude or offensive or whatever, there are very few of them get highlighted or reported.

If theres all this nastiness around, do something about it, either report the posts or PM me. I have my Minimins email account configured to my Blackberry so get instant notification of PMs/reported posts and assuming I have my ipad handy or am near a PC Ill respond to them immediately.

This would be great. If only people would.

 

[jaylou]

I actually think it's all a matter of perception and misinterpretation of the written word for the most part. I also think the word bullying is used far too frequently.

 

[MadameLaMinx]

As I stated all welcome to our own opinions & voicing them be it in a thread..but also these opinions are open to discussion if its constructive critisism or down right nasty sniping

And therein lies the problem with ALL forums, not just this one. All responses are written and open to the interpretation of the reader. What is forthright and frank to one person might read as distressing and upsetting to someone else. I have said this before, and I shall say it again. When you find a post that you think is offensive, re-read it, and see if there are other ways it could be interpreted. If there isn't, for example a post that said "OH FGS, that idea truly sucks and you should be sent to purgatory for even considering such a thing"- cannot really be misinterpreted as anything other than a grumpy outburst, then you should use the little report post icon to report it as offensive. It can then be dealt with, as appropriate. However, if there are other ways to interpret the post that you can think of, enquire of the poster of the intent behind their post. You can do this via PM, or in the thread, politely, without causing a flame war.

We do all have a right to an opinion, that is correct, but how we choose to express that opinion can make a great deal of difference and when the nature of the forum is that of support, it should be assumed that the intent IS supportive, even if the delivery is not how we ourselves would choose to deliver that support. Anything blatantly offensive should always be reported.

 

[3106Catherine]

I feel like ive missed something here! I haven't seen anything that I would say was deliberately nasty/ b***** and I've been on this forum since 2010. Yes a lot of ppl come and go and there is a 'core' group of ppl who are consistent members/contributors.

I can understand it does get boring reading the same requests/types of posts but with the number of ppl coming and going I think that's par for the course.

I love minimins im here day in day out and yea sometimes things have got a little 'heated' but that's generally when advice is asked for and not accepted/excuses given.

Anyway I've neither seen the 'post' this might relate to nor the 'silver' section???? Jaylou what is the silver section I feel I'm missing out now!!!

 

[x-lizbif-x]

On I'm chucking my 2 pence worth too.

I do see a lot of the same users patronising or just being rude to people, especially to the newbies.

What puzzles me is, if you don't like something that someone has said, why take the time out to be nasty to them? If you're tired of reading the same things over and over again- and yes- it's bloody tiresome reading them.. Just ignore them! Lol it's not like someone is forcing you to reply to them..
If someone is personally attacking YOU, ok I can understand why you would be involved but this is a forum and I think sometimes we forget that although some people may see things the wrong way- there is a human being behind the screen and God forbid to think that something I said affected someone badly.

The main section is horrible sometimes.. And I've been on minimins for ages.

Healthy debating is good. Nastiness is just unnecessary.

Couldn't agree more ;-)

 

[3106Catherine]

And just to agree with jaylou and minx there is always scope for things that are written to be taken the wrong way as we just can't get time of voice etc across in a post.

 

[stivesliz]

I have been on this forum a while now but not used it as much recently. I have seen people 'go off on one' for what I think are genuinely helpful remarks, but have also seen some remarks that I think 'ooh, not the nicest way to put it' and have been the recipient of them too..... especially when I was a newbie!

None of us are perfect - if we were we wouldn't need to be on this forum in the first place , and we all have to start somewhere, when we really dont know what we're doing so I agree, that a little tact and diplomacy goes a long way in making people comfortable, and most importantly, welcome x

 

[Shirleen]

If someone is rude to you PM them or a Mod.

If you feel someone was rude to someone else PM them or a Mod.

If you see a post you don't like ask the poster what they meant by that, or ask a Mod to ask them.

Please don't post a random 'people on here are nasty' post giving vague reasons for this, it's not constructive in any way, it promotes bad feeling and puts people off, the very thing you are purporting to be against!

 

[kingleds]

I think this whole thread is really depressing for a number of reason, but mainly because of the number of people who seem to assume that when someone says something in a bit of a blunt way they are being nasty. I never assume there is a tone behind any post. As this is a support forum I always assume people are trying to help,even if is help I don't want to accept. I've never seen anything on here I'd consider patronising at all, and nothing that comes close to bullying.

But what I find most depressing about the whole thing is that there are some amazing people on here, who are truly inspirational, who have succeeded with SW, and now won't impart their advice for fear if being told off because what they said is not what the person wanted to hear. Coljack has lost over 10 stone but rarely posts advice. Ermintrude has lost 9 & rarely imparts she advice anymore,even though she knows this plan inside out. Circes just plain disappeared after someone complained at her, and don"t even get me started on the way Fillymum was treated by a member of this forum. Now we are about to drive Jaylou away as well with all this petty bickering.

As yourselves this. Who do you think will be around to give your advice if all those old timers give up even trying???

 

[rachelbigbum]

I'm not giving you 'stick' for agreeing with the OP, so please don't think that I am, but I am obviously missing these threads. I genuinely haven't seen anyone making 'nasty' posts. Like Starlight says, some threads are bound to become heated, that is the nature of forums. Not everyone is going to agree with everything that is said - and good job too, as it'd be a pretty boring world!!

Anyway, if you do know of any threads where there are 'nasty' or 'bullying' comments made, maybe you could point them out to Starlight or one of the mods in a PM, so that they could check them out.

I think as someone relatively new to minimins I'm put off posting questions on the forum through fear of putting something on the wrong place which is clearly a big no no. Or podting a question that has been asked before, although often years ago. Even some of the mods are patronising in my opinion. Personally if I've got a question I leave it until I go to weigh in. At least it's a supportive environment there. My opinion and I'm entitled to it!

 

[jaylou]

I think as someone relatively new to minimins I'm put off posting questions on the forum through fear of putting something on the wrong place which is clearly a big no no. Or podting a question that has been asked before, although often years ago. Even some of the mods are patronising in my opinion. Personally if I've got a question I leave it until I go to weigh in. At least it's a supportive environment there. My opinion and I'm entitled to it!

If you know you could be posting in the wrong place then you must have read either the newbies thread, the FAQ's thread, or the before you start a new thread thread! So, you shouldn't have any fear of posting in the wrong place because those posts explain it all quite clearly.

If the question has been asked years ago, I doubt anyone would pick it up! I suspect you are being flippant with that comment. The "offending" posts are those which are asked daily!

 

[vanilla_cupcake]

I think this whole thread is really depressing for a number of reason, but mainly because of the number of people who seem to assume that when someone says something in a bit of a blunt way they are being nasty. I never assume there is a tone behind any post. As this is a support forum I always assume people are trying to help,even if is help I don't want to accept. I've never seen anything on here I'd consider patronising at all, and nothing that comes close to bullying.

But what I find most depressing about the whole thing is that there are some amazing people on here, who are truly inspirational, who have succeeded with SW, and now won't impart their advice for fear if being told off because what they said is not what the person wanted to hear. Coljack has lost over 10 stone but rarely posts advice. Ermintrude has lost 9 & rarely imparts she advice anymore,even though she knows this plan inside out. Circes just plain disappeared after someone complained at her, and don"t even get me started on the way Fillymum was treated by a member of this forum. Now we are about to drive Jaylou away as well with all this petty bickering.

As yourselves this. Who do you think will be around to give your advice if all those old timers give up even trying???

Couldn't agree more!!!

 

[Starlight]

Even some of the mods are patronising in mit opinionit!

Thanks for singling me out in all this. It's all been kept general as general til now

 

[vanilla_cupcake]

Thanks for singling me out in all this

I wouldn't pass any remarks Starlight! Some people like the sound of their own voice! I have never found you to be patronising!! This place would fall apart without you!!

 

[3106Catherine]

Agreed