Where Was The "Support"?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Scarlet Daisy, 4 November 2009 Social URL.

  1. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    I got my four stone sticker on Monday night :D, so that was fun and positive... Until one of the girls at my group took the edge off :(.

    Basically, she has been going to SW for YEARS and is still chubby. She said that another girl and I were "lucky" that we could lose weight quickly but that she and her mate (who keeps juggling the same few pounds) would "keep their weight off longer" because they were losing it "slowly" (personally I don't think they are losing it at ALL, so how can they "keep it off"?!). My Consultant didn't step in and correct her and I am so down at the moment that I didn't feel up to defending myself.

    How did I manage to find a "support group" where my success can be turned into a negative example for everyone? :confused: Ugh. And I'm LUCKY to be able to lose weight am I?!!! :mad: And there was me thinking I'd STUCK TO THE PLAN. The girl in question likes to recount all her delicious meals out to the group BTW. Grrrr.

    I'm SO depressed at the moment. My OH is suffering a nervous breakdown (he lost his Mum a year ago and has got progressively more mentally ill) -It is heartbreaking to watch but also very draining. I go to SW for FUN, I didn't need to go to group and have someone belittle my success, five minutes after me getting my sticker. :mad:

    OK, I'll stop whining now and try to get back to posting "funny" stuff. ;)
     
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  3. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

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    First of all I'll deal with the fact things at home aren't the best at the moment. I am so sorry for the loss and that it's affecting your OH so badly. I truly hope things work out well for you and your family xxx

    Now the weight thing. Some people are just down right rude/mean. What a nasty lady! Sounds like a classic case of green eyed monster syndrome to me!

    She's not progressing and is being negative (which won't help her or others) and she may be justifying her own actions by slating yours. I.e. she is finding a reason to justify her 'delicious meals' and lack of losses (I assume her delicious meals aren't necessarily SW?).

    Now, I am not losing atm and yes, it's getting me down. But I would NEVER bash someone else's confidence to make myself feel better - and I think it's terrible of her.

    Your consultant may not have said anything because it's easiest that way or because she knows this other lass is in a bad place hereself.

    You have three options:

    1 - you let it bother you and take you down with it - which you clearly don't want to do nor SHOULD do because it's not fair on you and your hard work

    2 - you laugh it off and mark it down to jealousy and take the hidden compliment from it

    3- you follow number 2 and also say something next week. I tend to let things slide but others I defend myself. I'd be tempted, during my discussion time, to say that I was upset last week by comments and that it didn't help with my moral. You don't need to be mean back or rude/aggressive to get the point accross, and it may make her stop. Bullies tend to stop when addressed. Not saying she's necessrily a bully perse, but she's not being supportive either, which group is about.

    Well done on your loss - you've done SO WELL!!!! Keep it up and don't let her ruin this. xxxx
     
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  4. jerricebenton

    jerricebenton Silver Member

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    I am sorry that there are people like this at your group :( You knwo what it is though - jealousy! She is jealous that you have will-power, that you stick to the plan, that you dont give in to temptation as much as she does and that you have done EXACTLY what she shoudl have done!
     
  5. debbywebby1970

    debbywebby1970 Silver Member

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    Babes.... these women are jealous. Plain and simple. They cant be arsed to stick to the plan 100%, but you do and you are getting better results.... hold your head high sweetie....
    I mean look at your results.... FOUR stones, slimmer of the week SIX times and slimmer of the month.???? How many rewards have they got.?
    And considering what you are going through personally as well, I think you are amazing.... honestly. !
    Such an inspiration to myself and others too.... be proud of yourself...
     
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  6. HellieCopter

    HellieCopter Gold Member

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    I would rep Sticky if I could!

    Totally agree. Jealousy. Plain and simple. Jealous of your ability to implement the plan and have it work for you. She doesn't know you, she doesn't know how much effort you put into planning your meals and eating right when you're going through traumatic things at home.

    Stuff her.

    CONGRATULATIONS on your fantastic acheivement!! We are VERY proud of you!!!
     
  7. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Its funny isnt it how some people are full of negativity and cant understand how they arent loosing weight when they "eat out" and there are people like yourself that follow the plan and loose weight...how dare you!! (wtf?!)
    Definitely a case of green-eyes there and Hun...4 stone is nothing to sneeze at...its an amazing achievement. Dont let her pettiness spoil your feelings, congratulate yourself that you can do this and stick to it.
    xxxxx
     
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  8. Vulcanwolf

    Vulcanwolf Member

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    First of all well done for getting your ticker, you should be so proud of yourself. try not to listen to people like that, its pure jealousy and really when your feeling great and she may of had a gain or maintain.. she is bound to be envious.

    Really well done to you, sticking to the plan and also juggling the real stress in life. i hope you continue to lose the pounds and feel great and also that your OH starts to feel better. Keep dedicated keep your head up high and ignore the negativity from others.

    :D
     
  9. alibalibee

    alibalibee Gold Member

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    What the others up there have said, particularly the *stuff her* comment :D
    She's losing and gaining the same pounds week after week because she's not willing to make the life style changes, you are, and you HAVE done, and you're reaping the rewards. If she wants to stay like that, then she needs to suck it up buttercup ;)
    We're all proud of what you've achieved, 4 stones is an amazing loss hun xxxxx
     
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  10. Roz V

    Roz V Full Member

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    I'm so slow, that others have said it all before me - but huge congratulations on your massive success. At least everyone on Minimins understands what you have achieved!

    If I were you, I'd contact your consultant before next Monday, telling her how you feel, and the dreadful circumstances you are currently experiencing.

    Maybe she can learn something for future use, IMO she SHOULD have stepped in to support you. She seems totally unaware of the effect of this girl's comments, and should NEVER let it happen to anybody else.

    Just think back to the euphoria you felt when you saw the weight loss on the scales, and try to hang on to that.
     
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  11. MissShiraz

    MissShiraz Full Member

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    I totally agree!!!

    I have re-joined SW after having 3 really rough months here at home, i wasgutted stepping on the scales yesterday and i weigh 1 stone more than i did in August :eek:

    However i know by sticking to the plan the weight will slide away :D. After reading this it's just the inspiration i need - you are fantastic.

    There are people in my group who have been going since Last year and have lost for example 1st 7lbs and every week you hear them say - i don't mind i'm losing it slowly :rolleyes:, but then there's a lady in group who joined this June and has lost 4stone 5lbs and she always gets catty marks....

    Pure and simply and outright Jealousness.

    ((hugs)) x
     
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  12. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    One word - Jealousy! You are sticking to it and it is paying dividends and the fact that you are doing it through such a difficult time is all credit to you hun.

    I can't add anything the girls haven't said except to say congratulations and keep on doing whatever you are doing and Stuff Them!!
     
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  13. Vixxster

    Vixxster Nojo on the YoYo

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    Stuff her is right, stuff her more than she stuffs herself when she eats out. She's on the 'Kidding Myself' diet plan, where she eats what she wants and conveniently forgets that she's doing it when it comes to WI.

    4 stone is BRILLIANT! 4 stone is MY goal, i'm down around 1 stone 2lbs and STILL counting. I know I've hit a plateau, and it has NOTHING to do with the plan, it has to do with my laziness, feeling fed up because of my job situation and I will readily admit that when my BF takes me out to cheer me up, we'll go eat and have vowed to do that no more.

    If SHE admitted the truth to what she actually DOES eat, i'm sure she'd be shocked at the amount. She's maintaining an overweight state because of her cheating. She's throwing her money away whilst you have had value for yours and she's just plain jealous and has a selective memory.

    Hun, you are ace, you are dead funny AND you're slim. No wonder she made digs. Silly cow. Next time that girl in your class speaks, just look at her, smile, and imagine the sound she's making coming out of her mouth as 'mooooooooooooooooo'.

    I'm so sorry about your OH, if you need to talk to someone about that 'first year without your mum' depression, please do PM me. Been there. doesn't matter what age you are, it will take time to get used to the pain. it never really goes away, and the sooner he realises that and stops trying to not feel pain and instead tries to live with it and cope with it, it will get easier for him. 20 years on and I still miss mine terribly, but I no longer hurt and feel bitter from the pain, I just feel happy and lucky that I got to spend time with her at all and I enjoy remembering her. But it was hard getting there. Hugs and love to your OH. :(
     
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  14. pinktiger

    pinktiger Full Member

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    First of all well done :clap::happy096: on getting 4 stone you are an inspiration to many of us, I've got 9 stone in total to leave and I'm hoping to get my half stone tonight :eek:

    Seems to be always someone who feels the need to put others down but please don't let her get to you. I know it's most prob easier said than done at the moment with things at home but you know you can do it and it works. Maybe she's not really in the right frame of mind to loose weight and could do with some coaching.

    We all loose weight at different speeds (mines slowly but surely) as it went on at different speeds. So long as you're healthy and happy no one else should matter.

    Hope things start turning around for your family soon and good luck with hitting target:D
     
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  15. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

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    Yep, this women is jealous for sure!

    I, too, am currently playing with the same lbs - but I know why that is and it's because I've had treats in the week that were off plan. This week I'm expecting a huge gain as I've had 4 days off (5 if I'm honest) where I've not been on plan at all. I'm cheesed off about it now it's weigh in day BUT I had a good time, there was a wedding and a gig in the middle of it and so I can't blame anyone but myself.
    Back on track for me from tomorrow...again lol

    Ignore this woman hon. 4 Stones is a lot of weight to lose and she's just jealous. It doesn't how long it takes someone to get there, and you are focused. It will stay off, no worries x
     
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  16. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    Thank you so much everyone. I needed to vent and I am probably over-reacting, because I'm down - but as usual this board is a life-saver! :)

    I don't mean to knock people who lose slowly, or gain here and there (goodness knows, I've gained a few times along the way!), people should follow the diet THEIR way after all. I just objected to the fact that she managed to bring me down with her negativity. I always encourage other people in the group (at least I hope I do), or at worst keep my mouth shut.

    Still, I'm chuffed that I got my 4 stone and I'm looking forward to hitting target. I might even change my target up a bit, because I already look skinnyish and at my age I don't want to go too scrawny and wrinkled. :D

    Thanks again, it means a lot to know you're all here. :grouphugg:
     
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  17. JoJosing

    JoJosing Full Member

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    Hi SD

    Dont listen to the Silly C?W.

    Yopu have done wonders especially with everything else going on in your life at the moment. I am in awe I had to weight for the stress in my life to calm down before I could start looking after my weight.

    I think that you should turn up to class next week with your slinkyest dress on bang bang shoes and ensure that you sit next to her!!
     
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  18. Cougar

    Cougar Full Member

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    4 stones is a massive achievement, so well done YOU :)

    She is definitely jealous and the only way for her to make herself feel better is to put others down. Don't worry - I'm sure all the other ladies/gents in your group think the same way as us!! The only person she is showing up is herself!!

    So here's a big congrats from me :)
     
  19. funcurls

    funcurls Never gets tired of SW!

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    Jealous jealous jealous!! I'm sure this snake in the grass gets on everyones' nerves and your consultant was probably biting her tongue to avoid confrontation! Perhaps you should have a quiet word with the consultant to let her know how destructive this girl was to you! I'm sure you'll get the encouragement from her that you need and she'll probably underline what everyone here is saying about the green eyed monster! Don't let it get you down! You're the one who's succeeding and she's the one who's struggling! It's obvious to me which one is going to be happier with herself!! Sorry you've got problems in your life at the moment! Comments like she made can have a much bigger impact when you're already down! XXX
     
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  20. Morgawr

    Morgawr Silver Member

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    First of all I just wanted to congratulate you on your fantastic weight loss:winner:. To stick to plan and lose weight with everything you are having to deal with is amazing.

    As for that woman I have to agree with everyone else that she sounds incredibly jealous. I would echo what has already been said and just let your consultant know how upset you were by it. I can't believe she didn't say anything at the time.

    Best wishes for the future
     
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  21. AG1981

    AG1981 Gold Member

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    I totally agree with what everyone has said.
    Forget those people who try to knock you down.
    You have lost 4 stone and that is amazing.
    Don't let anyone bring you down.

    xXXX
     
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