Who gets told 'you should stop now'?

[AJB]

I can't wait for the day when I get told I should stop.
I was talking to one of my work colleagues today and telling her how much I wanted to loose and she looked really shocked even though it would take me to the top of my healthy BMI. When I think told I might then consider lowering it by another 1 1/2 stone after that she kept saying how I shouldn't loose that much even though it would still mean I was healthy BMI.

Its for this very reason that I no longer tell people how much I want to lose! I need to get another 2 stone off before I've even hit the top end of my healthy BMI and was given a lecture about "taking things too far" the last time I discussed it with a work colleague.

Looking round the office I notice that many people are obese and morbidly obese so the fact I'm getting near to be 'overweight' and now refuse to go on the kebab run on night duty is obviously going to be an issue - well that's their problem not mine

 

[Cherry-Blossom]

I think one of the problems now is that we are given 2 very distorted views on 'ideal' body image. First you have the majority of the population who, as has been said, are overweight or obese. This means people think 'normal' people should be this size. Then you have the 'celebrity' image where being skinny is taken to the extreme and is seen by most people as abnormal. They just don't seem to get that there is actually an in between where you can be a healthy weight and not under/overweight.

 

[gl12282]

People have started to say this to me (which I find unbelievable as I still have probably at least 2 stone to go) however I'm not insulted by it. My response is 'thanks, you may think I look fine now (and I feel fantastic compared to where I started from) but I may still look fine when I've lost 2 more stone'.

In the end I may or may not end up looking a bit 'gaunt' or however you want to describe it but if I do when I get closer to my eventual target then people can tell me and I'll make my choice as to whether to stay a bit overweight or lose the last bits. It may never happen anyway !!

Gail x

Sent from my iPhone

 

[louisehj]

The one I get now I am at target is "you have lost more weight", no I haven't. I just reply by saying "I am just wearing clothes that fit me now" rather than clothes which are 1 or 2 sizes too big. However, sometime I feel that they don't believe me.

 

[Stoffie]

I've already been told off by my mother for even attending SW - "You're slim enough already". My weight has been creeping up over a period of years and my BMI went over 25. I would rather tackle the issue now. I lost over 1/2 stone on my own but was having real problems with motiviation. I joined a group knowing that I needed a kick up the butt each week to ensure I would lose weight! I also feel I'm getting a few 'looks' in the group but the target members/those near target have really been encouraging.

 

[Mini_Mog]

Not yet, I've been told by mil not to get 'too thin' everytime Me losing weight is mentioned.

Last time I did sw I got mixed reactions, my parents, partner & most friends were really supportive. My best friend did like it and I think it was a mixture of not being used to me being a size 8 rather than 14/16 and also envy because we had always been the same size before, and she was unhappy with her weight. She is now a sw member too and has done very well.

I think sometimes you just have to brush off other people's opinions.

 

[JemmaBe]

I've already been told off by my mother for even attending SW - "You're slim enough already". My weight has been creeping up over a period of years and my BMI went over 25. I would rather tackle the issue now. I lost over 1/2 stone on my own but was having real problems with motiviation. I joined a group knowing that I needed a kick up the butt each week to ensure I would lose weight! I also feel I'm getting a few 'looks' in the group but the target members/those near target have really been encouraging.

I get this at group. Constantly.
"There's more fat on a chip"
"What are you doing here?" blah blah blah.

Firstly, the people who do this are newish members. I was there before them, and so they assume I was always this weight, which was not the case.
Secondly, it's my life and I'm taking charge on something which if I don't will become a bigger problem.

 

[Clareel]

I get this at group. Constantly.
"There's more fat on a chip"
"What are you doing here?" blah blah blah.

Firstly, the people who do this are newish members. I was there before them, and so they assume I was always this weight, which was not the case.
Secondly, it's my life and I'm taking charge on something which if I don't will become a bigger problem.

I think that is so rude! Who are they to question why you are at group. Everyone is in the same boat regardless of how much they have to lose.

I think for me people think I am now 'too thin' because compared to where I started I am a lot smaller. However, that doesn't change the fact that I'm still unable to comfortably zip up my size 16 jeans and that I'm still clinically overweight.

Honestly I think that people who are telling me not to lose anymore just don't know what they're talking about!

 

[Cherry-Blossom]

I think some members are jealous of those with little to loose. For a lot I would imagine its the fact that they have so much to loose and would be over the moon to be at that weight. Doesn't mean the person has any less right to be at group though or that the journey is any less hard.
I will admit to wondering why some people are at group when they are already tiny (to me) however I fully understand that if they aren't happy then I will fully support them as long as they need it.

 

[ermintrude]

Just tell them they look like they could lose a bit themselves, and do they want to join you. Soon shuts em up

 

[ILoveCake]

I get, 'keep going'. Cheeky so and so's!!!!!

 

[Pommette]

I've had mixed reactions.

Only yesterday I met a chap whom I haven't seen since before Christmas, and he just came straight out with "My god, you've lost weight, you look fantastic. Your bums gone".

Well - big grin from ear to ear and I managed to say Thank You without garbling on that I'd still got some more to lose (first time ever!).

But yes, some friends are saying I need to stop. I try not to reply and just smile sweetly, but I have been known to retort "I'm still 12:6 for heavens sake and a size 16, and still overweight". What do I get back? "Size 16 is the average now you know".

It may well be but as clothes are bigger now than they were 35 years ago that's probably actually an old size 18 still.

I think people often remember the fatter version of ourselves and take longer to adjust to the thinner person than perhaps we do.

So many people have said it - it's our body so stop when we feel comfortable.

I will re-assess when I reach a BMI of 26 - the only reason I'm going that far is to get below 12 st, and that's just something in my brain that I want to achieve!

Being of the a more vintage generation my skin is not as elastic as it used to be and I'm already developing some flaps on the arms. I'm going to pause, do some really targetted exercises and see if I can get rid of it before going any lower.

 

[Lucky7]

I've only got a few pounds left to lose, but know that I've been at this stage before, and if I start coming off plan now it will come back on. Also, the hardest job (learning how to maintain) is still to come. I stick to plan (as much as I can), and aim to do 6 exercise classes a week at the gym. I feel happier and healthier than I have for years, and if I feel like this for my 40th next September I'll be chuffed to bits... SO

...I have had to learn to block out those people who treat me like some sort of anorexic obsessive. Those people who want me to join in their daily donut fest. The people I went to school with who say 'yeah but if I'm feeling down, a sausage roll really cheers me up' are NOT going to listen when I say that the thing that cheers me up after a rubbish day at work is doing some exercise - it gives me a buzz that lasts til bedtime, not just while I'm eating! What makes me laugh is that I'm a short-arse at 5'1", and am a 10-12. Not skinny at all. And to be honest, how rude of people to think they can make such personal comments without their opinions being requested anyway!! Pah!

 

[krupskaya]

At the beginning of this thread I mentioned 2 people who had said it to me. On reflection I think they meant it as a compliment - as if saying 'you've arrived, you've done it, so it's ok to stop now'. Some people may say it out of jealousy but luckily I haven't met any horrors like that!

 

[Liverbird52]

The same thing happened to me yesterday, a friend asked what size I was, I am now a 16, her reply was at our age 49! its your figure or your face!! I still have 2 more st to lose.Mind you I did say when Igot to a 16 I would stop dieting,but last time I was a 16 I was 12.7 but not as toned as I am now, I'm 5'10.5 and have a large build and am still in an obsese range on the bmi scale .Maybe people are just jealous at our commitment on wanting to be healthier ,fitter and look better than them!! lol

 

[Pommette]

I think to divert for a minute, the thing that hacks me off more that the ones who tell me I've lost enough are the really negative ones.

Back in early April, I was having a bad week. We all need support from family and friends at various times when we're trying to lose weight. Mine are usually pretty good but one very helpful friend (?) of mine said "Oh you'll put it all back on again so I don't know why you are even bothering".

I thinks that it's just because she's jealous as she can't keep it off. She yo-yos and is now at least a stone heavier, if not more, than before the start of her last effort (one of what I call the "FAD" diets - detox by cutting out sensible food and living on veggie soup and brown rice). Needless to say I just smiled (or was it a grimace?) and walked out before I hit her!

:hijack: Sorry to hijack Zoe. But I needed a rant!

 

[Stackhead]

In response to above, my friend who has just completed a nutrician degree said the same to me. That I wouldn't keep it off etc...

You just have to keep your head held high know that what your doing is the best FOR YOU.

xx