why are they so mean!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by kpnutt, 27 March 2014.

  1. kpnutt

    kpnutt Active Member

    So last week I got to target, but I am still at the high end of a normal bmi. So tonight a group one lady was basically asking me why I am even here for. It really made me feel so upset - felt like I was back at school. I have worked so hard to lose the weight ( 1stone 5lb). And instead of feeling proud of all my hard work, I was made to feel like crap! I did gain a little this week, so I am now even more determined to lose it. And get to the lower side of my target. Anyone else made to feel like this?
  2. jennjenn84

    jennjenn84 Well-Known Member

    That's so horrible. Well done you for getting to target. Having less to loose does not make your journey any less important! 19lbs is an incredible loss. I'm so angry for you!
  3. jennjenn84

    jennjenn84 Well-Known Member

    I actually think you should mention it to your consultant, as that is out of order.
    Mini likes this.
  4. NewMe14

    NewMe14 Well-Known Member

    Cheeky mare. don't listen to her you have done fantastic you should be very proud of yourself :) x
    Mini likes this.
  5. His-beau

    His-beau Well-Known Member

    Congratulations on getting to target! Everyone has a right to be there, it's no way just for people with a lot to lose. I would tell your consultant that was such a mean thing to say and undermining your weight loss. You've done great and should feel very proud. That's one thing I hate about the groups even though no one has the right to judge anyone.
    Mini likes this.
  6. Rochelle1

    Rochelle1 Well-Known Member

    You should have just said that you still want to come and get weighed to prevent putting all the weight back on like so many other people who've lost weight before, and the support you get keeps you at target. That would have shut her up but still been polite! X
    Mini likes this.
  7. Why should you worry what anyone else thinks? You have a right to be anywhere you want to be!!
    Mini likes this.
  8. littlemissslim

    littlemissslim Well-Known Member

    Well done for getting to target. You've tackled things head on now, rather than let it become4, 5 or even 6 stone or more to lose. So well done for taking control now.
    People say that to me sometimes as well, and I tell them my journey doesn't stop just because I've got to target. I need to be able to have support to maintain my weightloss, or I'll put it all back on and after all my hard work to lose in the first place, am determined not to. xx
    Mini likes this.
  9. PeggyDee

    PeggyDee Well-Known Member

    As others have said above, just because you have reached target doesn't mean that you no longer need the advice and guidance to help maintain. If she believes that the very week you reach target is the week you quit then she will be one of those people who reach goal (if ever) and immediately pile it all back on, because she is seeing this as a diet, a temporary eating plan to reach a certain weight, at which time she can start to eat " normally" again, i.e. her old way of eating that made her put the weight on in the first place.

    I do not enjoy confrontation so if it were me I would have a word with my consultant and ask her to make a deal of the maintaining side of the plan. This months magazine has a story about a woman who reached goal 8 years ago and still attends her group. She does it to help her maintain, to inspire other people in her group and because she has made wonderful friends and enjoys the social aspect. Perhaps your consultant could do a little feature about this story and then invite you to share some of your inspiration with your group. This might shut up the mean cow by answering her stupid question!

    And congratulations to you for reaching target. I for one am inspired.
    Mini likes this.
  10. jogirl

    jogirl Well-Known Member

    Well done on reaching your target! Ignore this incredibly rude woman. One of the things I like about going to group is the fact that target members still attend: it shows me that A. this plan does work and B. it is possible to maintain your weight loss when you have reached where you want to be. I find it very inspiring! I would also second those who have suggested you have a word with your consultant.
    Mini likes this.
  11. PatchworkPuss

    PatchworkPuss Well-Known Member

    Was this someone who doesn't know about your weight loss journey? I'm sure when I go to group there may be new people wondering why I am there, although nobody has ever said anything to my face. They would soon shut up when the consultant gets to me during image therapy though. People are going to think what they want, you can't change what anyone else says or thinks. But you are in control of you you react to it and at the moment you are giving them permission to make you feel bad. You should be proud of what you've achieved, and of the fact that you are working to maintain your target weight because we know that this is even more difficult than losing weight ;)
    Mini likes this.
  12. SallyVater

    SallyVater Well-Known Member

    "That was a rude thing to say!" followed by a shocked face usually puts these sorts of people right in their place.
    Last edited: 28 March 2014
    Mini likes this.
  13. larry5

    larry5 Member

    I have been at target and I am a few pounds over target at the moment. I have been going to group for the last 3 years and during that time I have mostly been at target. I got to target some years ago and put all the weight back on. This time I have kept going as it helps me even if I gain and I have made lots of friends at the group.
    Mini likes this.
  14. green eyed monster

    green eyed monster Well-Known Member

    she sounds like a right jealous btch.

    you have blimmin well, good for you xxxx
  15. toots8298

    toots8298 Well-Known Member

    Well done on getting to target, thats excellent!!! Don't let her make you feel bad, she sounds very jealous!! and PeggyDee is right, if she sees SW as a diet, she will end up piling the weight back on if she gets there.
    Dont let her put you off and enjoy your success, and def mention to a consultant so that she won't do that to others, the little bully needs to be stopped.
  16. pippalata

    pippalata Well-Known Member

    That woman sounds like a vile, jealous cow! Ignore her and bask in your slimming glory!
  17. Rochelle1

    Rochelle1 Well-Known Member

    To be honest a lot of people at my group are 'normal' sized, they don't look over weight to me but they're all treat the same! I've never heard of anyone being asked why they're there. Maybe my groups unusually accepting and other groups are more full of obese people? (I was one of the biggest members when I joined!) But what I'm saying is, its not unusual at my group for people to join with only 7lbs-1st to lose. Everyones journey is as important as any one elses
  18. steph1212

    steph1212 Well-Known Member

    I totally wouldn't let her get to you. She could be one of these people that join and think that once they get to target that all of their problems are solved and will stop going to class.
    Talking from experience, this doesn't work! I'm 1lb (one very stubborn pound I may add) away from target but I plan on going to class every week even when I'm at target. The reasons for this are as follows:-
    I like giving people who are still losing/just joined advice.
    I know that if I don't go, I fall off plan and put on weight so over the course of a few months I would be back to where I started.
    I like hearing new recipe ideas from other members.
    I like spending an hour to myself for something that's purely for me- not my OH, not my friends, not my family- just me!!!

    Sometimes at class out consultant has asked us to all write down reasons why we are there and she reads them out. Some people might say because they are getting married next year, some say because they are trying for a baby etc. Maybe suggest to consultant to do something like that so you can write down your reasons. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should have to explain yourself to anyone but perhaps this woman hasn't really thought about her long term goals and aspirations and what happens when she gets to target like you and this could enlighten her!!

    When I joined I was very rooted to the idea of 'I want to get to so and so weight' and I didn't actually think that in fact this is a life plan so when I get to so and so weight, I want to stay there! X
  19. Standing in the ladies' cloakroom just before giving a talk to a retired group yesterday, touching up the lipstick, when someone (a total stranger) said that perhaps at "our age" we were a bit too old to bother with makeup.

    And just this once - it hardly ever happens - I thought of something to say right away, instead of half an hour later.

    "You might be - I'm not" - and put on another layer of mascara!!

    Actually, I did feel afterwards that perhaps I shouldn't have been rude in return, but it was irresistible!
  20. ColJack

    ColJack Well-Known Member

    It may not have been meant in a nasty way.

    If you look "skinny" then it's hard for larger people to understand why you would attend a weight loss group.

    When people see vicky and I at group I'm sure they wonder what we're there for.. Until the consultant points out that we've both lost almost 17st...

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