WHY DID YOU COMFORT EAT???

[lizzielipps]

I have been off work with anxiety and stress for 4 months because of a bully, and I am 50 in May:sigh:
However recently decided "I am better than her" and intend going back to work soon and showing her I will no longer let her intimidate me

I know it can be horrible but we all need to make a stand against these people!! They are not worthy of even a tiny bit of stress!! (easier said than done i know) But you are worth more than that! we are all equals and we cant be treated that way! We should stand up for our rights!! I wont ever let anyone look down on me!! :girlpower:

 

[lizzielipps]

I have a very bad relationship with food.

I grew up in a house where there was not much love and listening to things my dad said to my mum about her weight; fat cow, fat this fat that, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Then when I got to about 13 he turned that on me, you will just be like your mother blah blah.

So I ate ...... in secret... and anytime someone let me down I ate ...in secret.

When I was at my happiest after my 3 rd son I lost a lot of weight and kept it off until my husband cheated on me with my friend at a party ( a one nighter) :cry:

Things are still a bit strange, but we are making plans and coming through it.

I put on a lot after that my confidence and security was shot. I couldn't leave the house for fear of seeing her.

2009 I decided enough was enough and joined sw in nov 09.

By April I had lost 4 stone and decided to go to spain to see my parents, the first thing my dad said "you look pregnant" my mum said well if you lost 4 stone you must have been "some size" and that was the first of the critiscm I got, it lasted days until I snapped.

my mum kicked me and my son out and we were left alone in the hills of spain trying to get to central Alicante.

My mum has told people lies about me, humiliated me, called me worse than ****, told my husband he has never achieved anything and said awful things about each one of my sons just after they were born.

I have not seen them since or talked to them. However, I got back from spain and struggled again with food once again my confidence gone.

You would think with all the things my dad said about her she would be a bit more careful about using spiteful words, but she gets a kick out of it.

Now my head is right I see light at the end of the dark and will no longer let them spoil it for me.

My mums mum is the most beautiful woman I have ever known and I love her so much. How can I woman like this give birth to my mother.

Wasn't going to put all that but it just kept flowing :sigh:

I have to stop letting other people dictate the way my life will go and start living for me. I do get hurt easy I think i'm just programmed that way.

Thanks

So glad you have got through the hard times and you are looking to the future!! All that matters now is the comfort of your kids and making all of your futures the best you can!! Well done for being so strong and there is nothing wrong with getting your emotions out I do it all the time!! Its great to share how you feel!!

 

[naz]

Oh this thread bought a tear to my eyes! Sending you all love and hugs!!! The reason I comfort ate was because the only thing that didn't say nasty and rude things to me was FOOD!! I'm a very sensitive person and through the years people being rude and ungrateful made me turn to my the trusted friend FOOD!! I still have my down day ( today for instance) but I'm coping allot better then before. Wishing you all a happy n successful journey Naz xxxx

 

[Shirleen]

I have a complex relationship with food due to not eating for days at a time as a child, Mum was an alcoholic she'd often drink all her benefit money away so by the end of the week there was no food in the cupboard.
When you've spent days vomiting water, food is like the best thing ever. My cupboard always has enough food to ensure my children will never be hungry and they have never had a hungry day!

But when I get down and I have that helpless feeling, filling myself with food helps.

 

[fatal]

I ate because my mother neglected me through my entire childhood and dragged me down with her, my father left me before I turned one and when I met him last year for the first time I didn't feel better. I thought I would have some sense of happiness or belonging to a family, but he was just a selfish man who didn't realise what he'd left me to grow up with.

I've been in the care system, watched my mother go in and out of rehab, been left alone for days on end and constantly berated. I turned to food because all my mother would buy was packets of biscuits.

I've repressed a lot of my childhood and now I'm trying to be less of a damaged person and more like someone who is brave enough to get on with it. I was recently diagnosed with depression and my boyfriend is helping me through it.

 

[tara40]

I thought that i ate because i just did it.
I have sat here thinking about it and i think i did it because it was exactly what this thread is called, it is comfort for me.
I havent got a good relationship with my mum, dont get me wrong i havent got a bad one but i havent got the type when i can say, "I love you mum" and give her hugs and things.
I always tell my boys that i love them and give them hugs, even though my eldest (16) is mortified when i do this.
ALso my mum remarried when i was 13 and my eldest stepbrother wouldnt leave me alone and it felt uncomfortable (nothing happened). My mum and step father would go out drinking every night and i would hang around on the streets with friends. if it wasnt for the fact that i was able to follow my passion (horses) god knows how i would have turned out, hanging out on the streets until 3 or 4 in the morning. Horses saved my teenage years.
i had my eldest on my own and then the eating started and then continued after i met my husband. i have put on and not lost my baby weight. and sometimes my willpower seems to have got up and gone.

 

[hollys nan]

I started when I lost my first baby got worse after i lost my second, when pregnant with my 3rd baby (now 6) I just ate what I wanted after thought I'd loose it but got pregnant again quickly with twins lost one but my daughter survived and is now 5 yrs old

It has taken years to get over loosing those babies and I always think of them x

No we never forget the babies we have lost, I too have lost 2 little girls, one at 16 months, and one at 2 and1/2. But its great you now have a little 5 year old girl, bet she keeps you busy.

 

[bunnylovesalan]

I comfort eating because I associate it with pleasure for rewards when I was little and the fact that it help good which I needed when I felt s**t, it was a defense mechanism to protect myself as some psychology beleive that we as human beings have an innate drive to make ourselves feel better even with mental health problems!

 

[Janeasetler]

I forced to marry a man I never loved, my Mom being Indian forced my Dad to literally sell me away (that's how I felt)
My relationship with my Mom was not all good, always fighting with her, never seeing eye to eye. But I felt neglected due to being sent away to boarding school when I was five years old, I stayed there for two years, my little sister stayed with mom and dad, I felt less loved, less wanted more of a scivvy then a daughter.

I was nine years old when I used to walk home with little sister, mom was working, there would be a list of chores to do, and if I wasn't up to scratch I would get punished.....no meal just bread and butter. Hence my love for bread.

This is only the first installment of my life. I've now let go of it, I have 3 boys, my boys are my life, I love them UNCONDITIONALLY something sadly my mom doesn't know how to do.

I'm in a better place today, I've learnt to let go of the past, because keeping hold of it only damages ME no-one else.

Please take it from me throw all your past away, today is a new day, it works.....I'm living proof of that.

I can freely talk about my past and it doesn't effect me any more cos I won't allow it.

xxxx

 

[tara40]

I forced to marry a man I never loved, my Mom being Indian forced my Dad to literally sell me away (that's how I felt)
My relationship with my Mom was not all good, always fighting with her, never seeing eye to eye. But I felt neglected due to being sent away to boarding school when I was five years old, I stayed there for two years, my little sister stayed with mom and dad, I felt less loved, less wanted more of a scivvy then a daughter.

I was nine years old when I used to walk home with little sister, mom was working, there would be a list of chores to do, and if I wasn't up to scratch I would get punished.....no meal just bread and butter. Hence my love for bread.

This is only the first installment of my life. I've now let go of it, I have 3 boys, my boys are my life, I love them UNCONDITIONALLY something sadly my mom doesn't know how to do.

I'm in a better place today, I've learnt to let go of the past, because keeping hold of it only damages ME no-one else.

Please take it from me throw all your past away, today is a new day, it works.....I'm living proof of that.

I can freely talk about my past and it doesn't effect me any more cos I won't allow it.

xxxx

sending love your way. I have 3 boys too. maybe we can start a 3 boy club mine are 16 / 8 and 5. are you raising them on your own or are you still with the gentleman that you married? sorry for the questioning.x

 

[WelshCake]

I just over ate because I was a greedy pig *shrug*

 

[Janeasetler]

sending love your way. I have 3 boys too. maybe we can start a 3 boy club mine are 16 / 8 and 5. are you raising them on your own or are you still with the gentleman that you married? sorry for the questioning.x

I'm still with the man I was married to :sigh:

My boys are older:
21
20
the youngest is 6.

xxx

 

[Janeasetler]

I just over ate because I was a greedy pig *shrug*

lol

x

 

[lizzielipps]

I ate because my mother neglected me through my entire childhood and dragged me down with her, my father left me before I turned one and when I met him last year for the first time I didn't feel better. I thought I would have some sense of happiness or belonging to a family, but he was just a selfish man who didn't realise what he'd left me to grow up with.

I've been in the care system, watched my mother go in and out of rehab, been left alone for days on end and constantly berated. I turned to food because all my mother would buy was packets of biscuits.

I've repressed a lot of my childhood and now I'm trying to be less of a damaged person and more like someone who is brave enough to get on with it. I was recently diagnosed with depression and my boyfriend is helping me through it.

Your story just confirms to me i am doing the right thing fostering no matter how hard it get's there are alway's children that need a stable home! I hope you can find the strength to live your life to the full! You are so brave as are all the people on this thread! Sending you a big hug from someone who cares! x