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Why. Do. I. Do. It. ??

#1
So I lost 3.5 stone on LL/CD - brilliant! But then I started eating again and binged for the whole of December and (unsuprisingly) put back on about a stone. So I started WW as I couldn't face abstinence again. Less than 1 week into WW and I have had another HUGE binge last night.

Been up all night being sick and generally feeling absolutely disgusting and really quite ill, I have no doubt that it is the binge that has made me feel this way.

What on earth am I doing to my body? It's like my stomach is now saying ENOUGH OF THIS! Why do I do it, I am utterly disgusting?
 
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#2
If I knew why you did it .... or the rest of us (you are not alone) and therefore how to stop it, I would be a millionaire ... I lost "the plot", took my eye off the prize ...whatever you want to say and between last summer and the New yr put on 9lb ........ when i should have been trying to lose the 2stone I had put on after losing it on LL/CD. I am back on track for today - try joining Minis daily pledge and doing it a day at a time ....

and really good luck!
 
#3
Hey Sarah

:) Firstly great that you have been able to come on here and be honest...thats the best thing you can be!! I know what its like to lose weight/put it back on and restarting is a total ball ache! I have beaten myself up DAILY about food issues/weight loss/getting to goal. I'm now being much kinder to myself and have found in this last week that not putting AS much pressure on myself to be PERFECT has helped me tp stay on track! I binge as a way of punishing myself for having a little blip..confirming to myself that 'I CANT DO IT!'..its a vicious circle i know!:rolleyes:

:confused: I have restarted SS and although its much more difficult than the first buzzing time you CAN do it, day by day, and hey if you do SS and have a blip, eaten does not have to equal Beaten!! A little blip does not mean you have to give yourself a licence to binge....be kinder to yourself.!!:p

;) Keep posting hun, hope youre feeling better today. Support on here is 24/7..make the most of it babe.;)
 

Mini

Administrator
Staff member
#4
So I lost 3.5 stone on LL/CD - brilliant! But then I started eating again and binged for the whole of December and (unsuprisingly) put back on about a stone. So I started WW as I couldn't face abstinence again. Less than 1 week into WW and I have had another HUGE binge last night.

Been up all night being sick and generally feeling absolutely disgusting and really quite ill, I have no doubt that it is the binge that has made me feel this way.

What on earth am I doing to my body? It's like my stomach is now saying ENOUGH OF THIS! Why do I do it, I am utterly disgusting?

Hi Sarah,

I see from your weight loss tracker that you have only 8lbs. to go to goal weight.

This is only my own personal opinion for what it is worth...but I feel your self sabotaging as you are not ready to be at goal.

May sound very weird but I went through a bit of this last year and on and off since.

I am sure it has to do with accepting yourself.

Claiming your achievements and being ready to move on to the next step.

We put so much energy into losing the weight and are focused on it, even putting our lives on hold...now as the time draws near it can be a bit scary.

But losing the weight is only the first step...adapting to regular eating like what you are doing now is the next...

As Beverly and Nic have both said your not alone.

Being aware of what is going on in your head and looking at what might of triggered the binge is a step into understanding.

As comfort eaters we tend to eat down our emotions, it is a form of denial.

Get a blank piece of paper and write down how you are feeling, don't think too much, just begin to write, you will be surprised what might come out.

There is pros and cons to ever thing we do in life.

The pros to losing weight is that we are healthier, fitter and look much better and can wear nicer clothes and feel good about ourselves.

The cons are the goal posts move and the critical eye from OTHERS tend to shift onto something else that they may or may not find fault about us. We get use to all the old faults and warts about us and somehow it is a bit of a shock when we are faced with a whole new set of things to deal with...

Probably why so many throw in the towel and crawl back into the shell.

Every change in life takes courage.

Give yourself time to get use to WW and don't be so hard on yourself. It is not what you do on a one off that puts the weight on, it is what you do all the time.

New ways of thinking and doing take time and repetition of the new healthier ways of living and eating take time to establish themselves and eventually they will become second nature and old habits will become a thing of the past.

But it does take awareness and being willing to move on and not get stuck.

This is also a post to myself as I write this.:)

Love Mini xxx
 

Maintainer

** Chief WITCH **
#5
You've made the right move, talking about it on here.

You did well to lose your weight with LL, but did you think at all about how you would eat "post VLCD"?

I ask because, although I lost my weight through healthy eating and not a VLCD, I didn't think at all about what I'd do once I got there and had a heck of a job stabilising. I knew how to diet. I know how to binge. I didn't know how to maintain.

I think there has to be a point, as we near target, when we concentrate as much time and effort into thinking about the "post diet" time. I now find that for me the 80 / 20 plan works best for maintenance. I eat pretty strictly during the week, cos it suits my lifestyle (being stuck in the office!), then Saturday I might have a treat, and Sunday I eat pretty much what I like AND stay stable.

Good luck - you've done it once; you can do it again; BUT this time, work out what's happening next...
 
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#7
Hi Sarah

sorry to read you are having a difficult time at the moment.

I think its the one thing we all have in common on here our love of food, and the temptations it puts on us constantly. I think its even harder when you have come off a meal replacment diet... and all off a sudden the whole world of food is out there for the eating again.!!

Like you have now come of CD and am on to WW and counting my food daily as points. I admit its been a bumpy road and the temptation to go a bit overboard is very strong. Especially as I am now eating more carbs... the old cravings are starting to come back. :eek: ((especially for that packet or 2. of Maltesers :D )).

Please dont get too dis-spirited. You are not alone. Its wonderful that you have been able to post about it, and we are all here to help you get back on the wagon.

I know its not easy with the temptations about, but try to put that behind you now, and start afresh! You have done brilliantly so far, and with a bit of planning for each day what you are going to eat, you can soon shift those last few pounds to get to your target.

Hugs

Deb x
 

AmandaJayne

Trainee Maintainer
#9
Quote from Sarah5

"I am utterly disgusting."

No, no, no you are not, Sarah! You are human, just like the rest of us. How many times have I sabotaged my diets - countless times (over 30 years), and I always gave myself a really hard time like you are.

Mini is so right about asking you to try to work out WHY you are sabotaging your successful weightloss. This is something I have to work on too, if I want to make this my last weightloss effort.

Our 'crooked thinking' is extremely powerful and will stop at nothing to divert us away from what we want to achieve. Those little voices in our head niggling away relentlessly until we give in and eat. Then comes the recriminations and self-disgust. And we eat again and get back on the bloody treadmill of despair.

Maintainer made some really relevant points too. I hadn't thought through too much about what happens when I get to goal. I've never actually got there before so it's all new to me!


What will we do when we achieve what we have been struggling for for so long? Have you thought about it? It's like when I had my first child. I spent most of the pregnancy thinking about the birth and no time thinking about what happened after. What a shock when I finally saw this squalling pink wriggling thing at the bottom of the bed! "Oh my God" I thought "It's a baby". What do I do now!

It's not to late Sarah, please, please don't hurt yourself about what you did. You can repair any damage over your lifetime. This is for the rest of your life. Think about what YOU want for the future - you CAN achieve it.
 
#10
It's like when I had my first child. I spent most of the pregnancy thinking about the birth and no time thinking about what happened after. What a shock when I finally saw this squalling pink wriggling thing at the bottom of the bed! "Oh my God" I thought "It's a baby". What do I do now!.
OH MY GOD thank you sooooo much everyone for writing, I got so disheartened that I have not visited this site since writing that message.. silly I know. What a lot of extremely relevant, interesting and brilliant points you have all made. The above was one that really has bought it home to me - I was exactly the same.

And you are right (again!) I have no idea how to maintain - my brain doesn't seem to understand the concept of just maintaining the weight.. it's either diet or binge. Weird. Got to sort out some issues I think, just don't know where to start.

I thank you all SO much for all your posts, you are a wonderful bunch of people with so much help and advice.

MWAH (that was a big kiss blown to you all!).

xx
 

AmandaJayne

Trainee Maintainer
#11

Quote:
"MWAH (that was a big kiss blown to you all!)."

Ooh that was a sloppy one!

Quote:
"I thank you all SO much for all your posts, you are a wonderful bunch of people with so much help and advice."

Anytime, Sarah!
 


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