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Why is my OH such a d***

fizzstar

bye bye belly
S: 16st1lb C: 14st10lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 1st5lb(8.44%)
#1
:cry::cry::cry:

I need to rant/vent/let rip on what I call my 'partner'. He is such a belittling W'er! I hate the sight of him right now. Anyway, i'm on day 5 and I havent cheated as such (had stock and zero pop) but not even had chicken or anything. On Tuesday, I was in bed and he said 'im proud of you' and I really thought it was sweet of him, but slowly over the week hes made me feel like shat. We was talking yesterday and he said 'you know we cant go on forever like this, me working and you at home, your going to have to get a job soon' - totally, I get that. I know that, we just scrape by each month - by that I dont mean we dont have treats or anything, we are/were living off takeouts, we always buy new things (this month along we've got a new printer, a new camera, revamped our bathroom - painted, new toilet seat/mirror/scales/bin, new flooring. Had our dog spayed [over 150quid]. Bought new pet storage tubs, a new harness/lead for the dog. Plus paid all the bills, got rid of another credit card debt, and done a big shop - the freezer is packed!) so its not like we're hugely struggling so i've got time to go to college and learn, but I mentioned that i'd really like to learn to be a HGV driver. Wow - it caused a blazing argument on our way home. 'What will happen with C [our son]?' 'Who will pick him up from school, while youre driving around/swanning it?' ..... EXCUSE ME?! Is he just MY responsibilty? I explained i'd need to pass my test - im having lessons - and be driving for 3+ yrs before even being able to think about it. So in that 3 yrs I can go to college? Get a job? Right? Oh no I cant! Why? 'cause it'll never be perm will it, i'll always be waiting to drive around the country/europe, doing what I want' .... I am disgusted at his attitude! It was a mere suggestion to something that one day i'd love to have a go at - dont ask me why but I want to drive a truck around for abit. So after I realised that whilever im with this piece of sh!t - i'll never do what I want to do. I went to bed.


This morning I get up, talking away, everything fine until it comes to about an hour ago and our son was asking for some tea, so I went in the freezer got our some jack fulton crap and asked my OH if he would just put them in the oven as im feeling weak today, and im ready to pig out. And he went into the freezer and picked up a small joint of meat, and said to C, shall we have this tomo? I'll do us a sunday dinner. Errrrr getting him in the shower is a struggle half the time so why the new 'planning' his meals and actually cooking now?! WTF?! I got abit humpy - christ ive dragged myself through this week so hes now sat, pulling my every move to bits, cause I said 'phwoaaar I can smell someones BBQ' and he said to C 'oh remember that smell C. We wont never have it again while your power mad mum is on her stupid diet, we'll eat grilled leafs instead'


I want to kill him. If i'd done it on day 1 - id be a good 25% through my sentence now! He makes me want to wordvomit allover him and tell him what I think of him. Hes scared of loosing me, apparantly... when I loose weight, hes afraid he'll loose me. Well, YEAH. I'm changing my life and hes mocking it. Of course he'll loose me! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

So im going to sulk on my own, and cry! If anyone wants to make a voodoo doll - drop me a line and you can have my full consent :) x
 
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Cham Pers

size 8 by July
S: 12st5.5lb C: 10st7lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 25.2 Loss: 1st12.5lb(15.27%)
#2
Awwww sorry you feel so bad but at some point when things are calmer you need to say to him that you cant do this without his support and things will get better and easier. Soon you will be able to cook lovely meals for them without it bothering you too much (i cook lovely meals and steuggle the hardest when im not doing anything) and you will have loads more energy you just need support to enable your will power to keep in control. I hope u get it sorted :)
 
S: 13st0lb G: 10st0lb
#3
I think this diet can effect your mood and outlook big time! I know I feel really irritable around my oh when he's eating / cooking. I sympathise because my oh doesn't normally cook either and now he has to has magically appeared to be like Jamie Oliver!!! Arrgh!!!
 

bye-bigun!

Sensibly losing :)
S: 12st12lb C: 12st12lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 27.4 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
Awww poor you :( It is tough, you are right... and some males are indeed another species on their own ;) LOL!
Well I do agree with the above, this diet CAN change your mood indeed! I found myself moody, fiery, irritable, and downright miserable... I reasoned to myself that I was almost punishing my family for being able to eat while I couldnt! How mad is that!! LOL!

I would say that you need as much support as possible and arguing is not worth it as it will zapp your already flagging energy... bite your tongue and try and calmly explain how you feel and see what happens. a lot of people have a negative view of this diet, hence why only a couple of people know I am doing it... the 'unknown' may be scary and comes with big changes. Assure its NOT forever, their eatng need not change and that reality will return when you are used to it all.. a different sense of normality can also be a good thing..

hang in there!!! :) xxx
 
S: 11st13lb C: 10st10lb G: 10st2lb BMI: 24.2 Loss: 1st3lb(10.18%)
#5
totally get it - mine was all supportive in the beginning and then last week decided to tell me that he thought I was taking the easy way out on LT! WTF? Go and sh*te! he's big into his fitness and thinks that the only way to lose weight is to do it the old fashioned way - eat less move more - well if I could do that and stick to it I wouldnt' be on this now would I? ....totally get the irritable -ness if that makes sense! I'm so crabby and it's not even my totm until next week... god help him he'll pay for that comment then!
 

fizzstar

bye bye belly
S: 16st1lb C: 14st10lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 1st5lb(8.44%)
#6
Awwww sorry you feel so bad but at some point when things are calmer you need to say to him that you cant do this without his support and things will get better and easier. Soon you will be able to cook lovely meals for them without it bothering you too much (i cook lovely meals and steuggle the hardest when im not doing anything) and you will have loads more energy you just need support to enable your will power to keep in control. I hope u get it sorted :)
Thanks. I'm just finding it very nasty right now. :sigh:

I think this diet can effect your mood and outlook big time! I know I feel really irritable around my oh when he's eating / cooking. I sympathise because my oh doesn't normally cook either and now he has to has magically appeared to be like Jamie Oliver!!! Arrgh!!!
Yeah, thats really annoying me because before, he 'couldnt' cook.


Awww poor you :( It is tough, you are right... and some males are indeed another species on their own ;) LOL!
Well I do agree with the above, this diet CAN change your mood indeed! I found myself moody, fiery, irritable, and downright miserable... I reasoned to myself that I was almost punishing my family for being able to eat while I couldnt! How mad is that!! LOL!

I would say that you need as much support as possible and arguing is not worth it as it will zapp your already flagging energy... bite your tongue and try and calmly explain how you feel and see what happens. a lot of people have a negative view of this diet, hence why only a couple of people know I am doing it... the 'unknown' may be scary and comes with big changes. Assure its NOT forever, their eatng need not change and that reality will return when you are used to it all.. a different sense of normality can also be a good thing..

hang in there!!! :) xxx
Thanks alot :) Just feels like im well and truely alone right now, ahhhh!

totally get it - mine was all supportive in the beginning and then last week decided to tell me that he thought I was taking the easy way out on LT! WTF? Go and sh*te! he's big into his fitness and thinks that the only way to lose weight is to do it the old fashioned way - eat less move more - well if I could do that and stick to it I wouldnt' be on this now would I? ....totally get the irritable -ness if that makes sense! I'm so crabby and it's not even my totm until next week... god help him he'll pay for that comment then!
His comments nearly word for word! He is currently sat arguing with me, so im not replying properly to comments but I can feel myself about to cry! Im stronger than this and I know it but arghhh hes a t - pot!
 

Jessie 888

one life only
S: 19st13lb C: 11st11lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 24.4 Loss: 8st2lb(40.86%)
#7
Aww, Fizzstar, I feel sorry for you, babe, and really hope you have a better day today. If you argued a lot before you started this diet, then maybe the cracks are highlighted more which will make you think about all sorts of changes in your life! ;)
Starting this diet though can be very stressful so any thoughtless comments are magnified and sooo annoying. I wouldn't bother trying to explain or educate your OH - it's not worth your precious energy at the moment and you will just get more frustrated because he is too entrenched in his views. If you can bring yourself to lie and say, tongue in cheek, that "you're right, your way would be better but I'm not as strong as you and I need a break from food to help me get back on track again"!
Yes it might stick in your throat but it would burst his bubble of aggro and negativity and hopefully get him off your back?
You need support and understanding right now which doesn't sound like his strong point! :D
 

Jessie 888

one life only
S: 19st13lb C: 11st11lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 24.4 Loss: 8st2lb(40.86%)
#8
PS Do you think he has control issues?!! :D
 
S: 23st4lb C: 21st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 44.7 Loss: 1st9lb(7.06%)
#9
Big hugs fizzstar! Don't let him get you down and don't let his stupid attitude make you quit!!
I can kinda see why he'd be concerned about the lorry thing but he's doing what my hubby does and assuming the worst just cos you will be driving doesn't mean you'll be gone for days at a time they have short distance HGV drivers as well as long distance!
hope you are feeling better today xxx
 
S: 22st0lb C: 16st13lb G: 12st2lb BMI: 35 Loss: 5st1lb(23.05%)
#10
MEN!!!
 

fizzstar

bye bye belly
S: 16st1lb C: 14st10lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 1st5lb(8.44%)
#11
Aww, Fizzstar, I feel sorry for you, babe, and really hope you have a better day today. If you argued a lot before you started this diet, then maybe the cracks are highlighted more which will make you think about all sorts of changes in your life! ;)
Starting this diet though can be very stressful so any thoughtless comments are magnified and sooo annoying. I wouldn't bother trying to explain or educate your OH - it's not worth your precious energy at the moment and you will just get more frustrated because he is too entrenched in his views. If you can bring yourself to lie and say, tongue in cheek, that "you're right, your way would be better but I'm not as strong as you and I need a break from food to help me get back on track again"!
Yes it might stick in your throat but it would burst his bubble of aggro and negativity and hopefully get him off your back?
You need support and understanding right now which doesn't sound like his strong point! :D
His strongpoint is facebook games! He just doesnt talk to me anyway, so obviously now ive not got any reason to talk to him (what a wonderful relationship we have!) but usually i'd say 'what do you want for tea?' and thats only the time we'd talk all day and night. But obviously its getting to me much more now! Although we did have a convo last night, and I let out everything I feel... I know its coming to the end, although I dont want to admit it. But it is, and it wont be long now. Before the end of this diet it'll either be done and over or be on the verge of, unless he changes his ways. I've sort of grown up, we got together at 15, had our son when I was 16 and i'm now 19 nearly 20. Hes now 23. I've grown up but hes stayed the same and I goddamn HATE it. He treats me like his mum. I dont know why but now, things are just screaming at me at what an ass he actually is!

PS Do you think he has control issues?!! :D
:rolleyes: Nooooo ;) (If control means that when you nip to the shops for a pint of milk he rings and demands I stay on the phone to him while im out then oh yeah ;) )

Big hugs fizzstar! Don't let him get you down and don't let his stupid attitude make you quit!!
I can kinda see why he'd be concerned about the lorry thing but he's doing what my hubby does and assuming the worst just cos you will be driving doesn't mean you'll be gone for days at a time they have short distance HGV drivers as well as long distance!
hope you are feeling better today xxx
See I could understand if he was honestly concerned but he isnt. Its because he doesnt agree with it. His concern was our child [the first time hes expressed his thoughts on anything to do with him] oh I dunno he thinks we should live in victorian ages and the woman should be a hairdresser or shop worker grrrrr! :(
 

Mirjam

Never Ever Give Up!
S: 82kg C: 76.3kg G: 63kg BMI: 26.4 Loss: 5.7kg(6.97%)
#12
Sounds to me that you're better off without him.... a relationship is about giving and taking and all he does is take. There's plenty more fish in the sea fizz and you deserve someone who will support you no matter what. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I don't mean to. x
 

bye-bigun!

Sensibly losing :)
S: 12st12lb C: 12st12lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 27.4 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#13
Hiya Fizz!
Just checking you are ok today and making sure you have not buried the nob under the patio since you were last on!!! :) Hope you are ok and hanging in strong hun xxx
 

fizzstar

bye bye belly
S: 16st1lb C: 14st10lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 1st5lb(8.44%)
#14
Sounds to me that you're better off without him.... a relationship is about giving and taking and all he does is take. There's plenty more fish in the sea fizz and you deserve someone who will support you no matter what. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I don't mean to. x
Noo not harsh - youre spot on! :) Honest its been a long time coming but arghh everything is highlighted now :(

Hiya Fizz!
Just checking you are ok today and making sure you have not buried the nob under the patio since you were last on!!! :) Hope you are ok and hanging in strong hun xxx
Nearly! I'm still going on LT - havent cracked, so goodbye day 6 and hello day 7 now! xx
 

Mirjam

Never Ever Give Up!
S: 82kg C: 76.3kg G: 63kg BMI: 26.4 Loss: 5.7kg(6.97%)
#15
Good for you, you go girl! *2 thumbs up* xxx
 


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