Will I ever be happy?

[Uphillstruggle]

Hi,
I'm on day 91 of foundation and so far lost just under 4 stone. It's milk week this week which I'm loving as I can have milk in my coffee (and even a latte!). Can't believe I've made it this far and am now 10 stone 6. However, I still FEEL ENORMOUS. I can buy size 12 clothes in most shops now - something I just never expected to be able to do (I was already a size 14 at age 14) but I really do still feel massive. When I look in the mirror I still repulse myself, especially if I have no clothes on. I know I still have a stone to lose to be in the middle of a healthy BMI but I really don't think that stone is going to make much difference to how fat I still look. I still don't feel I look "normal", even though my BMI says otherwise. I still feel people stare at me in the street for being fat and I still feel pretty hideous. I thought I'd be happy at 10 and a half stone but the fact is I still cry when I think about my body too much. I know I will never have the "perfect body" - I don't even want that - I just want to be "ok" with how I look.
Am I completely mad not to be thrilled with how I've done so far?
Beth x

 

[Juliakno]

Hi Beth!
I am not quite where you are now (well done for sticking with it, not long now) but I know what you're talking about. I have lost over 2stones so far, and people are really commenting on how good/slimmer I look, but I look in the mirror and still see the old me, double chin and all. I think our thinking will take a while to catch up with our new bodies. keep in mind how extremely fast we're losing the weight, compared to how long we have been used to that old shape of ours. All I can say is that you need to give it some more time, and in the meantime enjoy all the nice things, like shopping for size 12 clothtes (wow, what does that feel like????) and enjoy those lattes (BTW very envious of you at the moment:drool: I WANT some milk in my coffee!!!)

 

[KD]

This is very normal. It takes time for the brain to catch up, it really does.

I remember going through more stages that the London Palladium (actually, I think they only have one stage)

1. The manufactures of clothes have changed all their labels just for me. I am a size 24, but clothes say size 14 Not only that but they have been talking to my scales which are also lying to me

2. Okay....now they've roped my friends in, who say I'm slim. Crikey....how gullible are people

3. Fair enough. I look down. I agree I have lost weight. Never a size 14 though. Never in a million years.

4. OMG, I have lost 8 stone today. I'm looking slim. Not a size 14, but not a 24 either. Hang on....I'm a mystery size This is odd. This is a size that hasn't been invented yet. I know I feel better, I move and walk better. I'm not so exhausted and so hot in this weather. Now I am totally confused.

5. Still waiting for stage 5

 

[hippoellie]

I know what you are saying too- I still 'think myself fat'. trying on size 16 trousers and thinking as I put my feet into them- they will never get past my enormous thighs. Others do see the difference, but I am still a fat person as far as I am concerned. BUT you must listen to what others are saying and give your head time to catch up with your figure- be careful not to sabotage all your good work with thoughts of 'I'll never be slim/thin' Positive body image is all part of being the new you, but you don't just get there overnight. Keep working at it- find bits of your new body that you do like, and admire them! I spend a lot of time looking at my much slimmer neck- that helps. Getting fitted for a bra helped too- there is nothing like being told you are a 34/36 instead of a 44 to make you feel that your body is actually getting much slimmer!

 

[Juliakno]

This is very normal. It takes time for the brain to catch up, it really does.

I remember going through more stages that the London Palladium (actually, I think they only have one stage)

1. The manufactures of clothes have changed all their labels just for me. I am a size 24, but clothes say size 14 Not only that but they have been talking to my scales which are also lying to me

2. Okay....now they've roped my friends in, who say I'm slim. Crikey....how gullible are people

3. Fair enough. I look down. I agree I have lost weight. Never a size 14 though. Never in a million years.

4. OMG, I have lost 8 stone today. I'm looking slim. Not a size 14, but not a 24 either. Hang on....I'm a mystery size This is odd. This is a size that hasn't been invented yet. I know I feel better, I move and walk better. I'm not so exhausted and so hot in this weather. Now I am totally confused.

5. Still waiting for stage 5

This is great, I think I will have to put this up on a wall, just how I feel at times

 

[Cherry Plum]

Ahh Beth I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about yourself, as others have said it takes a while for your head to catch up with your body.
Speak to your counsellor thats what they're there for, mabe she has got some tips.
Well done for getting so far & achieving what you have.

 

[Eileen]

some fantastic advice from you ladies,not much i can add, only be find too yourself, treat yourself like you would others.You,ll get there in the end.

 

[Maintainer]

It really does take an awful long time to get used to, and I'm still not there three and a half years after first reaching target, but I'm definitely better.

My other half used to tell me I was narcissic for looking at myself in every shop window as we passed at every angle I could. Nooooo - I was wondering who *that person* was! I have walked into Evans more times than I can tell you, and then "remembered"...

At some point in your weight loss, though, someone has to tell you when to stop, because you mightn't see it yourself. I had set 11 stone as a target (I'm 5'6"), but realised when I got there that it wouldn't be enough for me; so I lowered my target to 10 stone 7lbs; I was delighted to get there, then turned my attention to 10 stone... you can see where this could have gone.

My other half wisely advised me to stop; get used to it, then move down a little if I wanted to... I'm grateful to him for that because I really don't know how far I might have pushed it as I still don't see myself as being slim (ok I'm less slim at the moment due to stopping my other vice - smoking!!).

So be kind to yourself, and listen to others...

 

[kerryray]

You have done fantastic, you managed to do 91 days and loose all that weight!! I dont think LL prepare you for the aftermath of loosing all the weight so quick and I do think you still have the hang ups about your body after however you have got to be looking fantastic!!!!!!!!!! I managed to do 6 weeks and loose 2 stone as I went on holiday for a week and came off it, I still have not got back onto it properly and that was 3 weeks ago!" Can you give me any inspiration I really need to loose another 2 stone!! Ijust want to look goood with my clothes on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You go for it girl bet you never thought you would get to 91 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!