Will I ever be thin, in MY eyes

[Blonde Logic]

Thanks Karion! I didn't feel you were judging me, and I appreciate your insight. That is what is so great about this site, you ahead of us have got the knowledge!! I appreciate your points and your taking the time to challenge me.

I see what you are saying, I just need to start changing the way I chatter inside my head.

Onwards and upwards as they say!!

Thanks.

 

[KD]

Aaah, good on ya. I do go off on one sometimes and I'm sure people think I'm crazy, but I know it takes time to work on it, and you might not be able to just yet. That's fine too.

Keep chugging along and as long as you bear it in mind rather than dismissing it offhand, you may just get your own personal lightbulb moment and it'll all start falling into place.

 

[ladylite]

KD - You are crazy but we love you.

BL - There will be a session on Crooked thinking, dont think you have got that far yet.

 

[silhouettes]

For me it is essential that i can see myself as slim. At the moment i am a size 14 and see myself still as a size 26+. This is cause for concern as it means that i dont notice when i put weight on and also i am worried that i will never see that i am 'slim ' enough and want to keep on loosing weight. Neither being very good places to be in.
I lost weight before and had major problems with it then I put on 2 stones yet the picture i saw in the mirror was exactly the same. It didnt matter what the scales said or other people said, it was my own view of my body that was distorted. For me it is not a self confidence/self loving thing but a complete distortion of the size i see myself as.
I must learn to see myself as 'slim' or 'my true size' or the damage this could cause could be immense.

 

[Clarabel]

I've not read the whole thread - only your first post.

But I think the key to this is a mantra. And doing and saying it to yourself in the mirror. I love myself; I am thin and beautiful and I love myself that way etc...or something like that.

 

[KD]

KD - You are crazy but we love you.

There's genius in my craziness though

 

[KD]

This is cause for concern as it means that i dont notice when i put weight on and also i am worried that i will never see that i am 'slim ' enough and want to keep on loosing weight. Neither being very good places to be in.

People want to lose weight for a variety of reasons.

1. They want to look slim
2. They want to feel good physically

Very few mention that really, what they want is to get their eating under control. They want to be 'normal', yet I guess that really is a priority for most.

The problem is that the balance is out. People think/decide they want to look slim more than anything else. Blame our culture

If you concentrate on making the 2nd one more of a priority then you are more likely to step off that yoyo dieting treadmill, because you will be doing it totally for yourself, rather than to gain admiration for others. Yes, I know people say that they want to look good for themselves, but it really is for others As I said before, would it matter if they were all blind? You probably wouldn't care two hoots.

If you make No. 1 top priority, you will still be stuck with the eating problems. You can be slim and have bad eating habits, poor health and will constantly be chasing the scales up and down, because your self esteem will still be low.

I lost weight before and had major problems with it then I put on 2 stones yet the picture i saw in the mirror was exactly the same. It didnt matter what the scales said or other people said, it was my own view of my body that was distorted. For me it is not a self confidence/self loving thing but a complete distortion of the size i see myself as.

I would say you didn't put that weight back on because you thought you looked big. You put that weight back on because you had eating issues and you scored your worth based on your body size (or how you saw it).

I must learn to see myself as 'slim' or 'my true size' or the damage this could cause could be immense.

I respectfully disagree. You need to learn to love yourself. Not your image, but that you are responsible, can accept yourself and that you have integrity. Learn how to do that through combatting any eating disorders and the focus of how you think you will look will diminish. I'm not talking about never being concerned about it....just not making it top priority.

And with that self esteem will come the control over your weight.

Not particularly well put, but had a very trying day at school

 

[Blonde Logic]

Blame our culture

If you think it is bad here, try America. It is far worse there. Ironic really since our country leads in obesity.

But yeah, the pressure there is immense. It's disgusting. I know it's bad here too, don't get me wrong, but I have not been made to feel unnacceptable here by any friends or colleagues.....I do it myslef. lol I see young girls here wearing way less then they should be, if you know what I mean, and they do not get torn apart. Somene ack home would be ridiculed and berated publicly.

In America, if you are fat, you are invisible, undesireable, a non-entity. At least in California. You will never see so may stick thin people obessed with losing weight as you will along the coast of Southern California. Its sad.

 

[silhouettes]

I think we will have to agree to disagree kariondieting

 

[KD]

I think we will have to agree to disagree kariondieting

Yes I think so...for the time being anyway

You may cover this in your LL sessions. I'm not sure. I am told that the brill Gillian Riley book on overeating talks about this in a lot of detail.

I've never read the book, but lots of people on here have and speak highly of it, so there's a possibility that it's not such a crazy way of thinking