Would It Be So Bad..

[bunny_hops]

It's my lil lads 5th birthday next Monday, he will be having a cake, and probably a mix of little sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls that type of thing for his dinner in the evening.. now...

If I were to have a piece of cake and a few little bits would it really be so bad?

I wouldn't be taking the whole day off, I'd still have my packs as usual, maybe just 2 though and get back to TS straigh on the following day..

I know getting back to it is always hard and I do worry that once I start it's going to be hard to stop, but I think I could do it..would it make a huge impact on my weight loss for that week if I were to indulge a little?

 

[Scanbran]

It's my lil lads 5th birthday next Monday, he will be having a cake, and probably a mix of little sandwiches, crisps, sausage rolls that type of thing for his dinner in the evening.. now...

If I were to have a piece of cake and a few little bits would it really be so bad?

I wouldn't be taking the whole day off, I'd still have my packs as usual, maybe just 2 though and get back to TS straigh on the following day..

I know getting back to it is always hard and I do worry that once I start it's going to be hard to stop, but I think I could do it..would it make a huge impact on my weight loss for that week if I were to indulge a little?

It's not that it could affect your short term weight-loss, more that it could have a real psychological effect in terms of eating carbs again, and the fact that your hunger and carb-craving may return due to the ketosis effect being lost.

If I were you, I'd avoid eating anything consisting of typical 'party-food' - sandwiches, cakes, sausage rolls etc are among the most carb-heavy things you could have, and might derail your progress.

I had my little girl's 9th birthday party yesterday, and the temptation was actually quite daunting - in fact, we brought home 8 or 9 plates of surplus sandwiches, cakes, marshmallows, sweets, biscuits and loads of sausage rolls.

I had a pack before I went to the party and just drank water while there.

Afterwards, we enlisted the help of everyone we knew to come and take away the spare food for their own kids, lunches, dinners etc until it was all gone

 

[Princess_Ames]

Ok, ask yourself if an over indulgence of carbs is worth it? I'd say not to be honest.

 

[Paragee]

In addition to Scanbran's points (and extremely good advice in how to cope with the situation), what I'd say is that once you start breaking a rule you've set yourself, you'll keep on breaking it, and for each subsequent time it'll be for something less important.

Child's birthday: Extremely important, possibly even worth fighting through 2-5 days of being hungry again until your back in ketosis, because they only turn 5 once (Happy Birthday to the little one, btw!)

But what about next time? There's always a next time because there are always things to celebrate in life (and unfortunately there are also always things happening that we want to comfort ourselves in order to get through.) The reason we're all here are on this diet in the first place is because we have all done too much of both using food, and unless we make the changes we need to make, we will continue to do so.

Your boy's turning 5. And he deserves to have a happy and healthy Mummy to be there with him when he turns 15, and then 25, and then 35... as well as embarrass him at his wedding and teaching him how to hold his own babies, if/when he gets there.

Enjoy the moments, but plan for the journey.

 

[LastEverDiet]

Great advice Paragee!
Bunny Hops - could you have a WS day and make yourself something delicious but low carb? That way you could have something special to mark his birthday and not feel deprived, but won't have the carb overload and should find it easier to get back on track the next day?

 

[determinator]

I agree with everyone , and paragee makes some great points , but I also think that sometimes these things can be all part of the process . When we get to goal and come off this diet we have to learn to eat , and eat in control , nice things in moderation . If you think you are in control enough to have a tiny piece of cake then have it , use it as good practice for the rest of your life , BUT it can be very difficult when you havent eaten anything for a while , to stop at a little bit . You need to be sure you have the control to have a little and not go into full on binge mode ( which I have done a few times when on TFR ) . a tiny bit of cake will not have a huge effect on your weeks loss , and may help to get used to being in control of your food .... AND have your 3 packs , you need the nutrients and if you miss a pack you are more likely to think ' well I need to eat a bit more as I havent had my allowance today '

a tough choice for you xxx

 

[Starlight]

At my nieces birthday my brother had a special plate made up for me. Some plain chicken, some salmon, a spoonful of low fat cottage cheese and 2 chopped up Babybels. The wee one was all chuffed to give me my 'special birthday plate' and I got to sit with everyone else and still be eating. AND they had a BL bar for me for having with coffee instead of cake.

I have to admit the feeling of 'being good' and resisting temptation far out weighed the pleasure Id have got from cake etc

 

[Paragee]

Completely agree, Katie, and I was meaning to make that point about needing to learn new ways of coping with food in my post but I obviously got distracted by something shiny instead!

Bunny hops:

If you're at the stage where you feel you can start adding real food™ back into your diet, you should go for it - that's what this about, after all. We can't stay on TFR for ever, and more than that, I wouldn't want to. Small portions and large amounts of self-control go very well together.

BUT. I think the fact that you're asking all of us whether or not this would be a bad thing means you know in your heart of hearts that it would be a bad thing for you at the current time. Not forever, and like I said, eventually you will need to face down the Cake Demon and win. But I trust my gut instinct, and if there's an uncomfortable piece of gut telling me not to do something, 9.9 times out of 10 I won't until I've assessed the situation further.

Listen to your gut. Not the loud, in your face part of it that's telling you how difficult it's going to be to watch everyone else enjoying the cake and party food, but the quiet bit at the back that knows the what the real you is thinking. And if the real you is thinking "just a sec, I know I want cake but I'm pretty damn sure want skinny more" then there's your answer.

 

[Ellie_G]

I think there's lots of good advice here and not much else can be added really. I've had 2 family birthdays since starting exante and I didn't come off it at all. My own birthday is coming up in a few weeks and it will be my add a meal week. I was going to allow myself some cake but I don't think it's worth coming out of ketosis for it. Instead, I'm going to have a nice ketosis friendly dinner and if my family really want cake to stick with tradition then they can have it, I'm not having any even if they do say I still have to blow out candles

 

[wannabeaslimjim]

my birthdays at the start of october and ill 99% likely have something bad for dinner but by that day I will of gone 70-77 days on packs and water alone and I think I deserve it and I would be falling myself if I thought I wasn't gonna eat during the festive period, only you can decide if its worth it but remember you yourself will have to live with the consequences of a bad weight loss or getting knocked out of ketosis, so if YOU feel its worth it and you can handle it go for it you can't hide from food forever

 

[bunny_hops]

I'm just not sure what to do. I'm a single mum, it's just me and my two boys, and for their dinner that day I was thinking either picky party foods or a pizza, fries and a milkshake deal from the lovely little pizza place nearby. It wouldn't be anyone else, so it's not some family function. He's not having a party because he doesn't have anyone to invite really. (he doesn't start reception til Wednesday, and with not knowing the classmates and being away from school it's been awkward and it would've been pointless going to a Wacky Warehouse etc)

I don't drink or smoke, I don't go out..I don't do any social things at all. I'm not like some who have meals out to deal with once or twice a week or family meals and stuff as I just don't do it...At Christmas we spend the day at my mums (the kids love their Nan) a few family members will also be there and they have dinner. I don't bother with it, I don't eat meat, and as much as I love a plate of veg, I'm just not into sitting around a table and haven't for the last few years, so Christmas meal will happilly be a shake (I do love Christmas though, the kids are spoilt rotten and it's all for them really)

I haven't celebrated my birthday in 12-13 years, I can't be bothered with it, so when it comes to having to deal with certain food events, I have nothing to deal with Ketosis doesn't really effect me, I just don't get the symptoms, so eating a load of carbs and then returning to normal the next day I know I could do.

I just don't fancy gaining weight, and the other thing I don't like is the slump after, when you realize you've cheated...hmmm I dunno

Thanks for all the great advice though

 

[Paragee]

I just don't fancy gaining weight, and the other thing I don't like is the slump after, when you realize you've cheated...hmmm I dunno

I think that's your answer right there. If you know that one evening is going to result in you feeling negative about yourself for a significant amount of time after, (and therefore potentially having a negative impact on your attitude toward the diet) then it probably isn't worth it.

I'm just not sure what to do. I'm a single mum, it's just me and my two boys, and for their dinner that day I was thinking either picky party foods or a pizza, fries and a milkshake deal from the lovely little pizza place nearby. It wouldn't be anyone else, so it's not some family function.

I don't have kids, but my Mum was (and still is) extremely overweight/obese though out my childhood. She was clearly unhappy, and those are the memories that stick with me more over what it was she did for me for any of my birthdays. I was a very active child, and my favourite memories (honestly) are of going for long walks on the moors or through forests and just running around till I plain knackered myself out. I can maybe remember one or two cakes from a couple of birthdays, but I can definitely remember my Mum watching me do active things rather than join in with me doing them (for instance, I loved water theme parks, and for obvious reasons my mum hated them), and I never really understood why.

I've got to be honest, I think you've actually got the perfect opportunity here to do something completely different with the kids here that will stick in their heads for years to come. And it doesn't have to cost the earth, like I said, when I was 5 doing anything different to what I normally did was exciting. Horse riding lesson, trip to a museum, trip to the cinema... all of these things would have had me wetting my pants in excitement (unfortunately, probably literally - I was 5!).

Then at the end of the day cook him a "Special Meal" of something you know he loves but doesn't get very often. This gives you the chance to establish a yearly ritual, which kids love. In my case, Mum used to cook me a massive chinese every birthday from the ages of 8 to 15; it was the only time of year we'd have it, and I have very happy memories of the excitement of getting my "Special Meal".

It doesn't have to be about cake and sausage rolls - grab the opportunity to do something different! It'll be good for your kids, and I suspect even better for you, because it'll keep you on track to being the person you want to be, which will one day translate to your kids having lots and lots memories of a happy Mum when they were growing up.