• Upgrades have been completed! Including conversations, 😁😎🏀⚾⚽ Emojis and more.. Read more



You'd have thought they would have noticed.

jenxy

Full Member
S: 12st13lb C: 10st1lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 24.2 Loss: 2st12lb(22.1%)
#1
I haven't seen my sister and her family since a week before I started slimming world, I have all my little certificates on the fridge for motivation, and my body has changed greatly. My sister came down for a day out with the clan on Saturday, and neither her or her husband said a word... Not even when they came back and had a cuppa at mine, not one single sodding word. She has always been dinky, they like hiking and exercising all the time. Very quick to say a little something when I was getting bigger and bigger, but not a peep. My OH eventually said "haven't you noticed how much weight Jens lost" Her husband looked the other way and my sister rapidly changed the subject. All that effort and my supposed nearest and dearest couldn't give a monkey's uncle.
Rant over :(
 
Get Rid of this ad and join in on the conversation for free today! Tap here!
#5
I'm not sure whats worse - them not noticing (or pretending not to notice) a 40lb weight loss, or when called on it my your frankly brilliant OH - ignoring it. I would be raging if it were me.

As above, jealousy is at the root of it. I will never understand the mentality of people who are unhappy when someone takes control of their life, but rest assured the first one of my friends and family who is anything other than complimentary about my weight loss is getting dropped like a hot potato. I do not need people like that in my life - and neither do you.
 

katty

Silver Member
S: 14st6lb C: 14st6lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 36.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#7
i had that from my best friend, i barely hear from her these days, i don't know if its cos i have lost weight but the only thing she did say to me about losing weight is that i would be smaller than her and our other mates soon. that told me i was always the fat friend, charming!! no well done, nothing. shows how selfish some people can be. my family tell me not to lose anymore or there'll be nothing left of me, they never had anything to say when i was getting bigger and bigger. i could rant for days, seriously, why can't people just be happy for others. makes me so sad. so yep, sort of know how you feel on other people ignorance, BUT we're better than that, try and rise above it :)
 
Last edited:
#8
People sometimes don't like to mention it. There are other reasons for having lost weight, and as someone who has said the wrong thing to someone whose weight loss was due to serious illness, I can understand people who don't say anything.

It is jumping to conclusions to say "jealousy".
 
#9
AnnaFaraday said:
People sometimes don't like to mention it. There are other reasons for having lost weight, and as someone who has said the wrong thing to someone whose weight loss was due to serious illness, I can understand people who don't say anything.

It is jumping to conclusions to say "jealousy".
I think you make a good point Anna - the problem here is that when questioned as to why they had not mentioned it - they continued to ignore it - that is the bit that makes me think jealousy. I do agree in most circumstances that people feel unconfortable mentioning it, of course presuming the OP had not told her sister she was on SW?
 

MancBird

Always comes back to MMs!
G: 12st0lb
#10
I also have a friend who has never mentioned my loss - I went to try on wedding dresses recently and she was there and everyone else was raving at my tiny waist and praising the loss... I was in tears of joy... she still didn't utter a word!

Jealousy or not, don't look to others to validate you if you can, you've done an amazing job so far and you should be so proud of yourself! I'm glad your OH gives you the recognition you deserve though, but even if nobody does, just know that you've done a fantastic thing for your health and wellbeing and sod anyone who doesn't realise that!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

tallsarah

Silver Member
S: 14st13lb C: 12st7.0lb G: 12st9.0lb BMI: 23.1 Loss: 2st6lb(16.27%)
#11
sibling rivalry can be very cruel, sounds like she is concerned about her place as the thin sister being usurped
 
S: 16st8lb C: 14st1lb BMI: 33.8 Loss: 2st7lb(15.09%)
#13
Oh dear does sound like jealousy. Could maybe be forgiven for not mentioning it but not to say well done when pointed out to her???? Any way WELL DONE. PS took my mum 8mths to notice mine!
 

jennyc_uk

Silver Member
S: 11st4.5lb C: 9st11.5lb G: 9st11.5lb BMI: 20.9 Loss: 1st7lb(13.25%)
#14
I've had the exact same issue with one of my friends! My best friend and people at work have been nothing but complimentary but this other friend - nothing. I think part of it is cos she's losing weight too but isn't do as well and has much more to loose. The other day she asked me if I cud tell she'd lost weight!! I was furious!!

I've recently moved house and spent 3 months doing it up and wen she came over for the first time she didn't say a thing about my lovely new home! My best friend did (even though she'd been 20 times) but it was wen we talked afterwards we realised she's obviously just jealous of everything I've done recently. Why can't people just be happy for one another? I'm happy for anyone in my group that's lost weight even if I've gained like they are for me x
 
S: 21st12.5lb C: 21st4lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 45.3 Loss: 0st8.5lb(2.77%)
#15
I think some people need alot of bolstering to their self esteem, and will need encouragement for every pound lost, new earrings etc, only when they feel equal in the relationship will they give out! It's not fair and actually it's a bit sad. If you want to stay friends with her why not ask her opinion on things, like what colour would go with this, should I hang this picture there or here, little things of no consequence to you may give her a step up levels (that she has put in place). Also some people are afraid to give compliments as they've never been taught how to give or receive praise.
 

jennyc_uk

Silver Member
S: 11st4.5lb C: 9st11.5lb G: 9st11.5lb BMI: 20.9 Loss: 1st7lb(13.25%)
#16
Shirleen said:
I think some people need alot of bolstering to their self esteem, and will need encouragement for every pound lost, new earrings etc, only when they feel equal in the relationship will they give out! It's not fair and actually it's a bit sad. If you want to stay friends with her why not ask her opinion on things, like what colour would go with this, should I hang this picture there or here, little things of no consequence to you may give her a step up levels (that she has put in place). Also some people are afraid to give compliments as they've never been taught how to give or receive praise.
I think it's more cos she's quite spoilt lol and everything has to be the best or just so. I say nice things all the time but this just got my back up a bit. I love my home and dont really care if anyone else does but she's just moved to and I can already anticipate the grand tour coming lol x
 
S: 21st12.5lb C: 21st4lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 45.3 Loss: 0st8.5lb(2.77%)
#17
I always get it wrong when I try to be nice lol! Next time she asks you if she looks better change the subject or say 'No' and change the subject!
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
S: 10st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 27.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#18
...Jealousy or not, don't look to others to validate you if you can, you've done an amazing job so far and you should be so proud of yourself! I'm glad your OH gives you the recognition you deserve though, but even if nobody does, just know that you've done a fantastic thing for your health and wellbeing and sod anyone who doesn't realise that!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wise words indeed!!
x
 

WelshCake

Silver Member
S: 21st2lb C: 14st9lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 35.2 Loss: 6st7lb(30.74%)
#19
I was slim for most of my life having a major op and being on steriods made me balloon so can maybe see it from a different point of view, I never used to compliment friends on weight loss either usually due to 2 reasons, firstly I thought if I said "oh you have lost weight" that also meant I was saying that they were fat in the first place, or in the case of another friend she was a constant yo-yo dieter and would lose 4 stone then gain 5 st, a year or so later she'd lost the 5st then gain 6st etc etc, so I didn't bother with her as it wore thin tbh, not saying I was right in either cases just giving a different point of view

As has been said before losing weight is done for yourself so stuff em and carry on the good work x
 
S: 15st0lb C: 12st4.4lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 2st9.6lb(17.9%)
#20
Yes, there is a great possibility that it is jealousy, but I also think that maybe she doesn't want to embarrass you by bringing up the subject of weight loss.

Perhaps embarrass is the wrong word. I'm having one of them moments where I know exactly what I want to say, but I can't find the words to say it lol! Perhaps she just doesn't want to make a huge deal out of it..I don't know.

But whatever it is, just ignore it and focus on your great weight loss. You've done really well and you should feel extremely proud of yourself xx
 


Similar threads



Top