Thank you, iwillbethinagain. It makes me smile that you feel fat at a weight way below where I feel slinky! I guess it's in comparison to being so overweight when I started.
What a difference a year makes. I've just been at a 3 day training and things are so different. My fellow attendees didn't know I have made a major transformation. I know for sure that people couldn't tell unless I told them. I declare myself 'normal'!!
I loved having my funky wardrobe and wore dresses two days and jeans on the last day. I've shopped my own closet for shoes - enjoying wearing shoes that I had been too fat to wear recently. I also wore my knee length boots. I haven't had boots since I stopped riding in my early 20s. I love my boots!
On Saturday, I wore a dress with ankle boots. I didn't recognise my legs in the mirror in my hotel room. I spent a while telling myself that yes - those are my legs, and yes - that is my shape now, and that it looks good for a woman in her 50s. It's my way of having my head catch up with my new reality. It's been 30 years since I last looked like this, and I didn't appreciate my body then. So speaking it out loud, whilst it may seem barking to you, is aligning my head and body. I am comfortable telling myself what I would say if I were my own best friend - I look great.
I noticed other things have changed. In addition to a completely new wardrobe, my habits are different. A year ago, I'd probably have had a biscuit at every break, milk in my coffee and lunches with puddings or maybe sandwichs and probably crisps, as a sort of celebration of being at a good conference.
Now, I drink my coffee black and had yogurt, fruit or a shake in my bag as snacks. I had planned ahead and brought the snacks with me and knew where the supermarket was for buying some lunch. I only shopped there once - turkey pieces, fennel and ripe tomatoes made a delicious lunch. I also brought some yogurt and had that in the afternoons. Other people noticed I was making different choices from the herd, and seemed envious that I had good things to eat. It felt good to plan, and I liked my choices.
Eating out: I went for a couple of meals with fellow delegates and feel comfortable asking for variations to the menu - eg steamed veg instead of roasted. I've been out to other meals since phasing off and sometimes have ordered starters as main courses. Once I realised I didn't have enough so ordered more veg. I had pudding one night, and suprised myself by only eating half of it. I was always brought up to clean my plate. And with something as delicious as that pudding, I would never have left any preAlizonne. Now, I am the kinda gal who drinks a half glass of delicious wine sometimes and often doesn't drink. Now I'm the kinda gal who left half a pudding cos I checked in with myself and realised I'd had sufficient.
Occasionally there's a bear trap - like unexpected salad on the plate drenched in dressing. then it's a decision - eat it or leave it. Sometimes I eat some or all of it and adjust later. Other times, I don't eat the bear trap bit, or send it back.
So I have got better at clarifying with the waiters about how things are served. I nearly always ask for sauces/gravies/dressings to be on the side so I can manage how much I have. On sunday I had a roast dinner in a pub - and was struck by how heavy on carbs it was - and how small the portion of mixed veg was. So I left a lot of mashed potato and some roasties. I ate the large meat portion as I reasoned I'd be driving home during suppertime. I felt overful and uncomfortable afterwards. I would not have found the meal large pre-Alizonne.
I have also had a few 'bingey' moments. For example, I bought some wafer biscuits for my DH. I then opened the pack to have a couple, and ate over half the pack - a bit mindlessly. My DH noticed and was ever so kindly concerned. He really really likes having his wife back. In fact having a slinkier wife than the wife he married. So he sweetly said that if there was anything that I didn't want in the house, he'd be happy to be without it. The really sweet thing was that he didn't criticise me , or indeed even comment that I'd eaten over half the pack. He did say that he wanted to support me in maintaining as I had done such a good job and it would be a shame to reverse it. I asked him to take the rest away.
I am not self controlled with a pack of sugar free sweeties, but am ok with chewing gum. I've got over the 0% greek yogurt thing. I love it - but it's not nearly as good 'value' in terms of calories as reular low fat yog. So I've been choosing that most days.
You know, some things call to me and others don't. So I am learning what calls to me. Who knew that oatcakes with stem ginger are a compulsive thing for me? Or those fruity ryvita..... I now know - so they'll rarely be in our shopping.
I've learnt that at home or out, I need to consistently remind myself to be mindful about my choices. I realise I can be bingey on chicken or ham - so it's not just sweet things. Eating off a plate and sitting down is essential.
I think of this stage as being on probation. I've had a body reset and it's early days. I'm learning new ways of being and living, and noticing any slides into old behaviours. Dukan has a weeks 'probation' or consolidation for every pound lost. If I were a Dukaner, I'd be on consolidation for 2 years. That underlines to me that AZ ain't done when you phase off. It's just the begining of the next bit. And the next bit needs mindfulness, monitoring and conscious decisions.
I weigh myself daily when I'm at home. I phased off without reaching my target as I didn't want to have surgery. I almost certainly would have had a tummy flap if I'd lost 10 stone. I feel and look good at size 14 or 16 depending on the brand. My skin is loose in places - so I'm not going to slink around in a bikini. It's a physical scar caused by being so very fat. And I have resolved to be happy with where I am. My current weight feels right to me, and I am very happy with my results. I vary by a couple of lbs - without much reason. The GP suggested weighing weekly. For me, that's too scary. Daily weighing keeps me honest.
I also notice that I use the stairs, not the lift. I park far away from the door and walk. In London, I don't take taxis and use the bus, tube or shanks' pony. I was boogeying to some great music they had when we returned to sessions at the conference. I move more and with ease. I even move differently - sveltely - no longer plodding along...... sometimes consciously and sometime unconsciously I have more spring in my step.
I have a dream or goal page - a piece of A4 I pasted 10 months ago with inspirational things I wanted - pictures and words from magazines. When I made it, I really really doubted I would reach a 'normal' weight or look like the lady in the shower, a picture I'd pasted on the page. I would look at it daily and hope. I just did what I was told and month by month, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, I shed weight that I thought was mine forever. I have had to shed some concepts - like I am a BBW or a big strong woman and adopt new ones - I am a lovely strong woman, for example.
I have learnt it is so much better to decide what I want, to embrace my choices and not b**tch, moan or whinge about it. It works for me - using supportive language and not saying 'I must' or 'I ought'. So I invite you to find the joy in your choices.
I believe that that you get what you think - so if you think you can do it, you can. If you think you can't, you won't. So manage your thoughts. I'm not suggesting you ignore the inconvenient or tough things. Yup, it sucks to have to go to the loo every hour or so in the first weeks. Nope - many sachets don't taste fabulous. And those things are worth accepting as you are choosing to live longer and with more ease and grace, rather than lumbering around at risk or early death or stroke or whatever.
For me, one of the most interesting thing is that I didn't realise how disabled I was by the weight I carried until I had lost it. It was so much part of my normality that I couldn't know what it would be like to be at a normal weight.
I've lost 8 stone or 50kg, 37.5% of my starting weight, and dropped 18 BMI points to a BMI of 30.
I walk faster and am more active. I am as committed to staying this weight as I was to shedding the excess. In my view, I need to keep paying as much attention to maintaining as I had years of putting on a bit of weight each year. So I have put myself on probation - I need to demonstrate to myself that I consistently make good decisions about my way of eating and living. Sometimes I don't. That's Ok - as I notice and decide how to avoid that error again.
Now it's a case of rinse and repeat. To show up each day as the best size 14 slinky svelte Ali I can be. How lucky I feel to be sharing this journey with the Alizonne and Minimins friends I've made, met in person and see on MFP & mumsnet too. I feel that your company and support is essential to my maintenance.
I know most dieters here have 3 or 4 stone to shed. For those of you who have much more to shed, it seems a long haul, especially at the start. And when people who start after you, phase off. However, the months and stones/kgs roll by. What seems interminable passes. And it does. Sometimes slowly sometimes faster. Sometimes grumpy and sometimes tired. Sometimes elated and sometimes joyful and excited. You too can have a body reset. It's a great opportunity, and if like me, you have struggled through various diets and rogrammes, it's pretty miraculous to be here safely and happy.
Good luck and enjoy the journey.
the problem is I was given incorrect info regarding the pricing through the phases & as a result I can only afford to stay on the programme for another 7 weeks. I intended to join weight watchers afterwards & be extra sensible (as I've just ordered my wedding dress!!) - does anyone know what will happen if I just stop the programme & start calorie counting? I don't want to put back on all of the weight I've lost, but as mentioned I was misinformed of the pricing in phase 2 
