2010 is my year!

[LindaLEM]

OMG, my feet, my legs and of course the puppy - just call her Stumpy. We ended up walking about 5 miles. That's four miles more than either of us is used to doing at one time. OH didn't answer the phone when we threw the towel in so we had to get home somehow or die trying. Typical, OH rang as we were ten minutes from home and pride prevented asking for a lift but at least he had cold water waiting for both of us when we got home.

Definitely an early night for both of us because I'm at work for seven in the morning, don't you just hate going back after time off? See ya!

 

[LindaLEM]

Talking about bubbles being burst, it turns out my biopsy two weeks ago wasn't negative, it was another malignant melanoma. Sorry ladies but I self medicated with a CDM bar. In the grand scheme of things it's not the end of the world and it did make me feel a little less tearful.

As Scarlett O'Hara once said, "Tomorrow is another day". Goodnight all.

 

[LindaLEM]

Well, got the whole story today from my dermatologist. I now need more surgery on my face and she found another one on my back. Unfortunately that's the kind of weightloss I could do without.

So, I haven't decided whether to continue with LT or not because there's too much else going on. It's half-hearted at best at the moment. The only bit I'm doing okay with is the water and the dog-walking. I think I'll have a chat with my chemist and see what he suggests, and then I'll let you all know.

Why is it so complicated?

 

[sonkie]

Well, got the whole story today from my dermatologist. I now need more surgery on my face and she found another one on my back. Unfortunately that's the kind of weightloss I could do without.

So, I haven't decided whether to continue with LT or not because there's too much else going on. It's half-hearted at best at the moment. The only bit I'm doing okay with is the water and the dog-walking. I think I'll have a chat with my chemist and see what he suggests, and then I'll let you all know.

Why is it so complicated?

Gosh you are going through it.......its good that you are going to ask the pharmacists advice first before coming straight off the plan......how long do you have to wait for the surgery......?
Hope all goes well x

 

[LindaLEM]

Hi Sonya, the referral to the plastic surgeons was faxed over yesterday so I should hear something in the next two weeks. It's weird because it's not as if surgery is unfamiliar to me but it's getting worse each time submitting to the knife. How do people get hooked on cosmetic surgery?

To be honest the LT and keeping control of my eating and therefore my weight is a strong motivator. While bits of my body are letting me down at least this is keeping me strong. Although it might backfire on me.. My jowls have diminished so much the next surgery might be too tight and it might need a skin graft - only if they even me up on the other side and do a bit of lipo under my chin.

So there you have it dear diary, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

 

[skinnyone0]

I really loved reading your diary you are so brave and corageous

 

[LindaLEM]

Thank you skinnyone. I don't see myself as brave or courageous especially not at the moment. I did when I had my first malignant melanoma removed in 1995. I was convinced I'd never see my kids grow up and I'd die a horrible death - and I'm a nurse and should know better. A long chat with a lovely oncologist reassured me and my mindset changed completely. Since then I have lived each day as if it was going to be my last because one day in the far future it will be.

At the moment it's my parents who are being the brave and courageous ones. My mum had surgery to remove skin cancers from her arms this week and is going back to have another removed from her face. It's still sinking in for them, I'm an old hand at this cancer lark. We'll all be fine in the end but it's the journey from disbelief to acceptance that varies for each of us.

So, I went blonde to disguise the thinning hair when I had chemo, but the true ginger in me is coming out in mm's. Typical Celt, ginger, pale, freckly but as long as I stick on my LT journey, not fat and that's what this diary is all about. My journey from then to when.

Ladies and gents whatever has driven us to be the people we are, remember we are strong enough to become the people we want to be.

 

[jemimarobin]

hear hear! Lovely diary- really funny, well written and you are courageous dear, no matter what you say.

Amazing lady x

 

[LindaLEM]

Evening all, and a special hello to Jemimarobin. Thank you.

Today has not been a good day for LT but I'm fine with that. I've found that as long as I don't beat myself up for falling off the wagon I don't stress, therefore each day is a new start. I'm still over a stone lighter than when I started and it will only get better. Together we will go onwards and lighter in tights and spirit!! Off to check my lottery numbers now and with my luck.........

 

[LindaLEM]

What a lovely week this has been. Didn't go to my weigh-in on Saturday because basically I didn't want to see disappointment or pity in my pharmacist's eyes.

Anyhoo that was then this is now. This week I have mostly been having LT, H20, work and walking. Debating whether to be weighed on Friday or Monday. Probably tomorrow because I'm working on Saturday and it's always nice to know.

Other than that it's been a bit quiet, almost subdued, around here. Let's hope it's a sunny weekend, inside if not outside. xx

 

[LindaLEM]

Oh dear diary, how can I cope with the excitement? Went for my weigh-in (next time I'm stripping to my thong) and I'm now 88kg, 13st 12lbs and still officially, officiously overweight. Most importantly I haven't gained anything apart from a sense that this isn't fair.

I spoke to the woman in the chemists and explained about my "life things" and she agreed that I could do a refeed until after I've had my surgery. So that's the plan, be a good girl, keep getting weighed and keep my fingers crossed it's soon.

Bonne chance x

 

[LindaLEM]

Hiya, I don't know what's worse, imagining the fat expanding with every refeed mouthful or lurching rather unsteadily from one shake to the next! I think it's a tie. Although seeing as how my replacement meal has consisted of three croissants ( no spread or jam or honey mind) two dipped Flakes and a bar of Dairy milk (infant size) my glycogen store must be nearly full to over flowing.

Oh sod it. I'd rather be thin than happy, woo-hoo, see ya xx

 

[Catthin]

I have just read your post from start to finish.I admire your positiveness despite what life has thrown at you .You are truly a brave ,courageous and inspirational lady.
Thank You
Cathy

 

[skinnyone0]

Keep on with the good work think of the walks you will go on when your puppy can go outside my little dog had 5 pups and we are in the process of selling them now Bichon Frise what kind of dog do you have

 

[LindaLEM]

Cathy, you are too kind. But when the choices are breathing or boxed up, life is too short to huddle in a corner whimpering. That's why LT is such a joy, no thinking, just shake and eventually you will stop wobbling!

Skinny, my little ***** is a 16 week old Staffordshire bull terrier in white with black bits. She is adorable and has just started nursery (doggy day care) this week because OH has started a new job so we're out most of each day. I think they must be walking her further than we ever have because she sleeps all evening and all night. I think the OH has seen her awake for about an hour all week. Roll on the weekend, we're both off and looking forward to it.

Ladies and Gents, keep strong, live long xx

 

[LindaLEM]

OMG, just noticed my girl pup's gender has been bleeped. Sorry moderators, thought there would have been a context filter.

 

[LindaLEM]

Well as refeeds go this has been hell. There's only so much enjoyment to be had from eating with such negative results.

I even tried a glass of wine last night. Couldn't enjoy it in case my brain melted. But just in case it did, I had a big bowl of ice-cream with extra thick double cream.

So am back on the LT 100% as from tomorrow. I'm not going to get weighed first, I'm just going to go for it. I'll have to nip to the chemist on Tuesday to stock up and then off I go, again, and again.

You lot have a lot to answer for. Keeping me sane, offering encouragement and most importantly not judging. Keep it up, thank you all. xx

Come on Lewis, you can do it.

 

[LindaLEM]

Oh well second is much better than not finishing the race. (Note to self)

And now the footie is on, come on Spain. Then off for a shower and I think I'll get the tape measure out. Wish me luck!

 

[Tinkerbellthefairy]

Linda, you've done soooo well, almost half way,keep it up. Not much longer now.
Emma x

 

[fatty_bumbum]

hi Adieu, just been reading thro your diary i think your doing an excellent job especially sticking to ot wen the OH trows in the towl. My OH is trying to support also by doing all the cooking but is away today so i will have to do it
I have an examination on monday with my lady doctor that i hope will turn out to be nutting sinister.
anyways fair play to you girl and keep up the amazing work xxx
Nat xXx