Here I am, but I have a big confession. I stuck to it all day at work, but got home and got to thinking about 'stuff'.
I lost 3 stone 7 years ago and then the love of my life was a big reason for piling it all back on (my fault - he was just a good excuse). The arrival of twins and being slightly knackered had led to another 2 going on..
Anyhoo.. baring my soul a bit here. Strange things motivate me.. When I lost the weigh before, Friday was my WI day and I always look at that day as a bit of a good luck day, so first up, I'm changing my WI day to a Friday. Second, starting on significant dates motivate me, Friday is 28th which means it's exactly 6 months to the big 4-0.
Which brings me around to the fact, I'm not going to start this properly until Friday. The first day I know I can do it, but it also means Saturday and Sunday can be spent chilling if I need to or if I am feeling naff, I can hide away in bed for an hour or so.
Having spoken to DH, he is happy to support me 100% in this and I've said I want to do this 100%, so we've also agreed to have four nice last meals of my favourite stuff this week and I am going to curb the calories in the day to a) prevent further gain and b) accustom the body to not having loads during the day (I know I'll have the battle of night times when I start)
So then thinking on, I have 6 months, 179 days and 26 WI's before my big day. Hoping for no further gain, I've also decided I want to go for a weight that I always used to be which is exactly 5 stone from where I am today. That's 70 pounds. But Clinquant has inspired me that this is totally doable.
The plan for the next few days is to be on here at night to motivate myself loads and pick up tips and read diaries. I also am going to do a list of mini goals to help with motivation and give me targets to aim for.
I appreciate this may sound like a cop out, but I know how determined I am to do this and rather than go for it now, with a crap week at work ahead, two late nights in that, I would rather give myself the absolute best shot at this because it will be my last ditch attempt to kick this lard once and for all. To also start living my life, instead of hiding away.
I have spent the day walking around at work today imagining the size of my 14-10 stone a$$ mortified with myself it has got to this. I'm so disappointed in myself and sad, but I'm also feeling positive that I AM going to do this and this IS going to work.
If I make one promise to myself, it's that. Please stick around for me - I have a feeling I might need it.
Thanks for reading my rambles, and hope people don't think too bad of me. x