A quest for the old happy Em

Thanks Prawnchopsuey. Getting to have more and more NSV's lately. The other day I just walked through a small gap between two posts without even thinking about it and then thought afterwards - I would have walked round that before for fear of getting stuck and having to walk round afterwards anyway. Probably looked like a big gap to most people but when you're bigger you learn to do things differently. Like looking for the chair without the arms at a restaurant table so they don't pinch or get stuck round you or picking the bench seating rather than the chair if you can, and mentally working out your route across a room where you aren't going to knock someones chair or have to get them to move out the way for your fat a**! I also noticed how when I was doing the cleaning I was just getting down on the floor and jumping back up again rather than hauling myself up one leg at a time. I'm walking a bit quicker too so my boyfriend hasn't got to keep slowing up to let me catch up with me shouting 'stop running!'. I guess carrying 3 stone less is bound to have an effect though and it's all for the better :)

Last nights healthy 5 bean chili in Wetherspoons turned into an Indian at the last second. We got half way down the high street heading for 'spoons and then my boyfriend suddenly said 'I could eat an Indian you know...' so my will power held up for about a nano second before happily following him in! No starter, no popadums, no sides and a tomato based rogan josh instead of naughty creamy korma so it could have been worse. We also both had plain boiled rice not egg fried rice. I would have shared a naan too but that was a step too far for the boyfriend who insists he has a whole one to himself ;-) I'd hardly eaten anything all day though, just a bowl of syn free carrot soup with some bread and some SW quiche and spaghetti hoops.

I'll be better today, honest....
 
I am so glad to see that you are noticing all the positives that are direct results of your weight loss! Puts it in perspective and makes you realise how much easier life will be at a healthy weight, even when it's hard to say no to treats sometimes ;)
Sounds like you did well to resist so much from the curry house. I made a curry on Saturday and managed to resist the shop-bought naans that everyone else had, even though they smelt sooo good with their garlicky goodness. Go us!! :)
 
It is sooooo hard to resist the nice stuff isn't it. I knew we would be full up without sides or anything and we were, so I was glad I didn't just eat it for the sake of it as if it were there I'd have eaten till I was fit to burst. Maybe next time I'll convince him to have that half a naan too ;-)

Well done you prawnchopsuey for saying no to the naan. Even though I knew the shop bought one wouldn't be as good as the takeaway I still ate one at a friends last week and then felt rubbish afterwards :-( I bet you felt great afterwards knowing you'd been so good. It just takes that moment of strong will to say no and then the temptation passes doesn't it. Like saying no if you're offered a cake or biscuit. If you can just get your mouth to say 'no thanks' before your brain has chance to protest it's all ok :)

Today I'm feeling a mix of guilt and pride as my Mum and Dad are coming round today to borrow my books and give SW a go again. They've done the Fast Forward programme a few times that my cousin lent them the details of but have never stuck at SW properly as they find it too complicated. So I'm proud that they think it's worth doing now they've seen me losing weight.....but guilty at the same time as I sort of guilt tripped Dad into it. I know when I started my diet he was shocked I was over 3 stone heavier than him so now I'm only 3 pounds heavier than him I thought I'd point that fact out. The shock of that made him vow to stick to a diet pronto! He's always moaning he needs to lose weight but never gets round to it so I thought I'd give him a nudge in the right direction :rolleyes:
 
Thanks Jane. Hope your week is going well so far.

Second weigh in at fat club tonight and I'm not worried like I was last week as the first week is out of the way. Hopefully 1 pound will show on the scales so that'll be a 4lb loss in 2 weeks on their scales which looks respectable. I've been keeping my food diary but body magic just went out of the window this week and I didn't do anything. My poor Wii is feeling abandoned so I must get back to that tomorrow before my boyfriends new xbox games turn up and he's back to hogging the lounge!!
 
Thanks to my rushing to class straight from work I didn't have my jeans and belt on, just black trousers (well not just black trousers obviously!) so I don't think the 2lb I lost is entirely deserved but who am I to complain!? Have to remember to stay wearing my work clothes now though for future classes instead of the jeans.

My friend who goes was so upset at gaining 2.5lb I thought she was going to cry or totally lose her temper with the consultant as the 'face of SW' she wanted to vent at. Two weeks she was a bit off plan, then came back to class last week with a STS and was shocked. I think it's just that catching up with her but I can see why she was still upset, as she'd been incredibly good this week. Someone else gained 0.5lb despite 6 gym sessions and being 100% so it reminded me gains aren't always deserved and not to beat myself up over it when it happens next.

Really need to get some exercise back into my routine this week. I'm not sure a days shopping with my Mum on Saturday will count though! We're already planning Wetherspoons 5 bean chilli for lunch as she's now doing SW too. She rang me last night saying what they'd eaten and was it ok....I said the toasted tea cake and butter didn't count as lunch even if that was all she'd had, and got Dad in trouble as she didn't know he'd had a biscuit which he mentioned when I'd spoken to him first - oops. I think when he looks up the syns in said biscuit he'll realise it's not worth it next time anyway.

Just resisted a home made brownie I was offered as I'd just had a mince pie hi fi bar so I'm feeling very pleased with myself right now!
 
Well done on the loss!! I'm sure you did deserve all 2lbs of it but I know it's hard not to get paranoid that it's the clothes that make the difference!
That's why I WI in at home in my birthday suit. Not a pretty sight but at least I know who's to blame!

I think it's a great thing you've done for your parents. It's hardly the most gruelling diety regime is it? And I'll bet your dad finds he gets some great losses 'cos men always do... he'll probably overtake you in fact, but try not to hate him for it !!
I always mention it to my mum because she whinges that she can't lose weight, but she just looks disgusted at the portion sizes I eat like I don't deserve to be losing weight this way. Tough cheese mumsy, it works!! :)
 
Well Mum has been a bit funny about my losses so far like saying 'you must be wearing lighter clothes' everytime I get on their wii fit and lose weight. So if she starts losing again too she might not be so jealous! She said 'extra easy looks like you can eat anything, how silly, that won't work'. I said it's about stopping when you're full, it's not a face stuffing challenge. She also wants cereal for breakfast and bread for lunch still so she may do red and green just to get her second healthy B back as she doesn't eat a lot of meat anyway. She did Atkins years back so she still think carbs are evil and she should avoid them but I said give it a go and see what happens.

I still do my morning weigh in on Sunday in the nud like you prawnchopsuey as that's my 'true' weight as far as I'm concerned. It's not a pleasant sight as our scales are almost mirror like and it's not a nice angle to view yourself at!!

Dad will undoubtedly do better as he's a bloke but like me he needs to see progress to motivate him to stick with it. Mum's a bit more patient. Hopefully they'll both do well though and I won't begrudge them a pound of it as I know it's still hard to do whether you have over 5 stone to lose or just 1.
 
The scales are still be nice to me of a morning and showing that magic number 12 at the start :D Doing well having 100% days this week. Cakes at work tomorrow for someone's birthday but I'll syn it and it'll be fine. Today is shaping up to be a 6 syn day so plenty spare for cake tomorrow.

My new recipe book has arrived so I'll have to try a SW pud as I've not done any yet. Basically because they're all so high in syns still I can't be bothered! But there are a few lower ones worth a go I think.

Just found out today the quorn cocktail sausages I've been munching on last night and today aren't syn free like all the other quorn sausages :mad: Only half a syn for 2 but just as well I had only 5 syns yesterday and none today when I found out so I've accounted for them now.

I also spotted some Sainsburys Be Good to Yourself oven chips when shopping last night with identical nutritional info to the McCain rustic ones but less saturated fat....so 1 syn per 100g the same as the rustic I thought as they're actually healthier. Oh no no no, Sainsbury's obviously haven't paid SW off like the big companies like Muller and McCain as they're 2 syns for 100g. Can anyone make any sense of how SW do their maths!? It's clearly a money exchanging hands thing. I'm happy to buy the rustic ones as they're cheaper than potatoes would be to make syn free chips and much less faff but they're 50% more expensive than the Sainsbury's ones! Got to stick to the book though or else I'll blame the chips for any weight gain - even though they're clearly no more calorific.

My work friend came in wearing my trousers yesterday and said they were a perfect fit :) I said they were a really nice style as I'd had them in 3 sizes now and was wearing them at the time! The tops were all too big except one slightly smaller top for work (not seen her in it yet!) but all my trousers fitted her perfect. Glad they all found a new home and she loved them all as much as I did (my old fave jeans are now her new fave jeans as they are an amazingly nice fit).

I now have a real life example of what I look like size wise to other people's eyes as we're the same size on top and almost the same on the bottom. She's about an inch taller than me but close enough! Looking in the mirror at yourself never seems quite as real does it? as you still see yourself as the fat person you started out as. I see her as being the chunky side of curvy as oposed to outright fat so it's about time I started seeing myself in the same way, as I'm actually a small 18 now and the trousers I gave her were 20's. I can still see I have a way to go mind you to look nicely curvacious and less chunky monkey :p
 
Grrr, bad scales, and bad Emma :mad: I weighed in at 12st 13.8 on Sunday so 0.6 of a pound on this week but that was up to 13st 0.7 this morning so tonight at fat club is going to be no fun at all!!

It's all my own fault of course, cakes on Friday, Harvester with pud on Saturday after a long days shopping, too much bread Sunday, a muffin and orange juice on arrival at the spa day yesterday plus a panini for lunch with carrot cake and then a Chinese takeaway for tea.....I really have gone to pieces. I think meals out in the previous weeks have also caught up with me of course. I just get these urges at times to go totally off plan and eat crap before coming to my senses and losing the taste for it again. I really have no urge for chocolate or pizza or anything like that today, it's like my body goes through phases of craving it. Just need to learn to not give into the cravings.

I can feel my work trousers aren't so loose today, see my tummy sticking out more and generally feel like a complete failure for letting it slide.

Back to it today as I refuse to ruin all my hard work any further. A couple of pounds can be fixed. Think positive.

So far today I've had cereal for breakfast, ryvita for lunch (HEXB's) and my milk and light cheese triangles (HEXA's). I have grapes to snack on and a mugshot if I need it as I'm at work till late. Not staying to fat club tonight but not because I will have gained, but to spend an hour on the Wii instead. No exercise these last 2 weeks hasn't helped I don't think.
 
WI wasn't too bad, put on a pound but it hovered over half a pound for a while. Went home and had a low syn tea so one day down being 100% and on to the next...

I did do an hour on the Wii last night too but only burnt off 149cals as I got hooked on snowball fight trying to beat the high score and got all competitive and wouldn't stop till I'd beaten it. Before I knew it it was bedtime. Silly really as all the scores are my own as I'm the only one who uses it :D

Got a shock that the mugshot replacement I'd bought in the absence of real mugshots (Batchelors cup a soup extra) turned out to be 8 syns when it's no more calorific than the cheese mug shot is at 2 syns. Yet another example of SW and their crazy nonsensical syn values. So I actually had 16 syns yesterday so have to ease up on them today.

My last week of writing a food diary this week too as it's my fourth week of SW classes. Then I can go back to just ticking boxes on my excel spreadsheet as to what A's B's and syns I've had. I know the free foods I'm eating are correct so I've no need to write them down.

Feeling much less bloated today which accounted for my fatter belly yesterday. I never usually get bloated so didn't really realise that's why I was bigger! Sweating loads at the spa and not drinking enough Monday is responsible for that I think.
 
Having posted on another thread and been asked how I felt about losing 3 stone to date, it got me thinking. So as always I'll share my thoughts here too :)

When I say 3 stone out loud it seems like a drop in the ocean as I have (or had) 5.5 stone to lose. That's over half way of course but we all know the last half is harder to lose than the first, or the last stone is at least. It also feels like I've said 'I've lost 3 stone' for so long now and not progressed any further that the novelty is wearing off and I won't be happy till I get my next half stone award. I know that sounds ungrateful or strange as I was over the moon when I got to 3 stone but it's how I feel when I get down about my size - totally illogical :p

People are slowly starting to notice I've lost weight now but it's taken 3 stone to happen!! That's also a bit hard to deal with at times as you feel like you've come so far but then question whether you really have come as far as you think as no-one has noticed. I got a comment from a male work colleague out on site yesterday that I'm a lot more flexible and agile than I used to be when I was bigger (I had my arm armpit deep in a hole at the time and was bent in a fairly flexible way now my tummy doesn't get in the way!). He also said previously I was at the point when people would clearly think 'fat' when they looked at me but now they'd think 'normal size'....trust a bloke to be totally blunt but it's good to hear all the same! I know people don't always say when they can tell you've lost weight for whatever reason and maybe it is obvious to people I've lost a fair bit now - I shouldn't be so needy in the emotional 'bigging up' department I know, as I'm doing this to feel better in myself. But I also realise that I'm the sort of person who needs reassurance and compliments to keep going (hence the scale hopping every day).

That all sounds very negaitive reading it back and I really am more happy about losing 3 stone than I appear! I even went down to a works mate's desk for a donut (a Krispy Kreme one too) and when I got there decided ring ones weren't appealing enough to waste my syns on as I'm trying to be good this week. How's that for progress on the will power front....to look the donuts in the 'face' and say, actually no, I don't think I will. Yay me :D
 
Hi EmmyLou I've enjoyed reading your thread, u sound quite similar to me. U weigh less though!! Since having my little boy over 2 years ago I started at 16.9 and now I'm down to 13.5. I'm GOING to get down to a size 12, as really I've been messing about for the past year, gaining then losing again. You're right the second half is much more difficult. Looking forward to being 12 stone something in the next few weeks like u! Well done, keep it up :)x
 
Hi TrimTrixy, you're not far behind me at all! :D And you've lost more than me so I guess you know where I'm coming from with the frustration of not staying 100% SW as often as you'd like. We know we can do it - we've done it to the tune of over 3 stone each!! but it's so easy to let 'normal' life take over and get in the way of our healthy eating habits. Good luck with the rest of your journey and a size 12 sounds perfect to me (although right now I'd be chuffed if 16's fitted over my bum easier!).

Just had the last tin of chick pea dahl from the cupboard for lunch so really need to get to a big Asda for more supplies as it's so nice and filling for dinner. So long as I can be bothered to do the rice the night before of course....microwave stuff like I used to use is just a waste of good syns these days.

100% so far today, fingers crossed I can keep it up. I'm also off for a swim at my local pool tonight which I haven't been to in 6 or 7 years :eek:! It's been tarted up so I'm hoping for a really enjoyable experience compared to the gym pool I've been using for the last few years. I think that extra 5 metres (gym pool was a bit short at 20m) will be a shock though after all this time. Wii two nights in a row and now swimming.....got to write it all down as my first week towards a bronze body magic award.
 
Sounds good to me! Keep it up. I'm back on it, I've got that determined look in my eye. My husband and me are staying in a posh hotel tonight without our 3 kids for his birthday treat. There's a pool there so I'm taking my cossie. I'm also taking strawberries and cherries, so whilst he's chomping chocs I'll have those. A few months ago I'd have said oh sod it, it's a treat but I want this too much. I've wasted my life wishing to be slimmer. Only I can achieve that. I'll be following ur progress from here on and I'm sure by summer we'll both be looking hot!! He he ;-) x
 
Hope you're having a great time as I type this TrimTrixy, and well done you for planning ahead. SW definitely works better with planning! Oh and I'm sure ykw counts as body magic too ;)

I had a swim tonight after work, what a waste of time! I love a relaxing swim but this was half an hour of torture. Way too many people, kicking and scratching as we all tried to cram in the lanes and swim past eachother, slow people in the medium speed lane holding it up, and such choppy water due to all the people it was like training in open waters! Good for resistance if nothing else I suppose as I definitely had to work harder. In the end I gave up as it was stressing me out too much....after a week of stress at work I didn't need that too. Then to finish it off the showers didn't work properly. Think I'll be giving up my beloved swimming as my new gym doesn't have a pool and there are no other pools for miles around me anymore since the council demolished them to make way for Tesco and the like :(

A new olympic sized one is due to open next year in Bristol though...

Tonights food was ok though, just something quick so I bunged some rustic chips and a quorn fillet in the oven. Got to make some syn free parsnip soup this weekend for next weeks lunches but not sure what else to try from my recipe book. Have to have a look then pop to Asda :)
 
Not a huge loss this week but almost a pound off so what I'd gained last week plus a tiny bit more :) Hopefully by Tuesday that'll show on the class scales too.

Made an aubergine pasta bake last night, hmm, ok I suppose but a bit bland and the tomato sauce was a bit thin. Ok for a SW recipe I suppose! Making soup for the week later once I've painted the banister. Kept me busy yesterday and away from food ;)
 
More painting kept me away from food all day again yesterday, just beans on toast for brunch. But then of course I was starving by the time I'd finished and ended up going to the Indian takeaway :( I did have a rogan josh rather than a creamy curry and I don't really have the sauce other than what's stuck to the chicken like I've said before. Boiled rice was ok but the peshwari naan was again my downfall. In terms of calories for the day I probably did fine as I'd barely eaten anything else but it's still not the way to go about dieting is it. I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment but bad food just keeps calling me and I'm losing the willpower to resist. I just love food too much!!

If I'm going to keep pigging out then I'm going to have to up the exercise. Bit of Wii tonight hopefully and I've just ordered My Fitness Coach - Dance, so that'll hopefully get me on there a bit more too with something new to play. Also need to go join the other gym now my old membership has finished at the other one. Start there on 1st April then.....I sort of took March off as I had rather a lot of stuff going on in the evenings so didn't see the point in joining and not going.

Anybody got any helpful advice on how to get my head in the right place again!? :confused:

 
Mid way is a tough place to be as you've come so far and people will be noticing, it's easy to think oh I look ok people have said so! U need to decide if u want to finish your journey, go back to the beginning and re evaluate all your reasons for starting in the first place. I'll tell u from experience, it's easy to slip back into Ur old ways and before u know it ur back at square one, feeling crap and depressed and a failure. I know I sound really serious and harsh, but I've done it. Get ur head back on it and by summer you'll be looking stunning and glad u didn't give up! U do realise that talk was aimed at me as well as u, don't u?? He he good luck chick, ur thread motivated me when I read it so I'm sharing the love ;-) x
 
Thanks for sharing the love TrimTrixy :D I think there probably is an element of feeling a bit happier in my appearance and being able to buy 'normal' sized clothes again that does make me a bit more complacent about the whole thing, and that leads to slip ups and not sticking to the plan 100%. I'm still really unhappy with my size though and really want to get to my goal weight and not stay where I am right now.

I did half hour on the Wii last night sweating to Just Dance and the scales are still reporting a pound off this morning so hopefully lots of water today and I'm on for a good WI tonight at class to get the pound off I gained last week. Had just 2.5 syns yesterday to make up for the curry on Sunday and trying to do the same today.

By the summer I should easily be back into a size 16 if I keep at it, so here goes :)
 
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