A quest for the old happy Em

Well Sunday's weigh in was a nice surprise, another half a pound off :) I'm not sure a Chinese take away last night, a lot of chocolate and orange bread pud last week and toast will help me keep that half pound off for class tonight but I only have myself to blame - not the pill this time (which is actually quite a relief to be honest as I feel like I'm in control again and not at the mercy of a load of hormone altering drugs).

Back to the exercise this week and hopefully back into a routine with work and my eating. Planning to gym twice as well as shopping on Saturday and Thursday night so lots of walking. I want to keep that half a pound off till Sunday if I can. I'm not expecting a loss this week but no gain would make me happy too :)
 
Just been really busy unfortunately.....busy eating non SW stuff :rolleyes: Just spotted your new sticker Jane - well done!!!!

Tuesdays weigh in went very well in the end, a pound showed on the scales when I was only hoping for a half pound! This week hasn't been good since though, brownie at work Wednesday (although to my credit I did split it with a colleague who's also on a diet so we saved eachother from eating a whole one), Yo Sushi last night, and 2 meals out tomorrow!!! Despite my gyming Wednesday and tonight I don't think I'm going to do too well this week....but again I know it's me at least and not the pill so I don't feel so bad about that. This week has been a bit unusual food wise as I don't usually eat out quite this much ;-)

Shopping trip last night had me trying on lots of dresses for an upcoming works do - none made for the ample bossom unfortunately. Luckily I have a standby I've shrunk back in to so will get some more wear out of that or else I'd be panicking right now! It's nice to be able to get back in to the dress but at the same time I fancied treating myself to a new one as a reward for losing weight. Maybe I'll treat myself to new shoes instead :) I had to do a little excited celebratory dance/jiggle in the changing rooms though as I only picked up 16's to try on in Monsoon, BHS and M&S and they all fitted so I think I might be able to call myself a size 16 now. Woo hoo!!!! Ok so all those shops are a 'proper' 16 and many other 16's cut on the small side wouldn't fit but that's still more than the odd size 16 fitting isn't it!? Have to try some of my old skirts on ready for summer. I noticed last week while wearing a new denim skirt that my thighs no longer caught on eachother as much in the warm weather and rubbed. Maybe the new summer linen trousers I just bought won't wear through to holes on the inner thigh within 2 months this year like the previous two summer's pairs did ;-)
 
stuffed with food now after a day at the shops with a pizza for lunch and then out for a birthday meal with the family at harvester. scales this morning were being very kind but I'll wait till tomorrow to alter my stats ;) I think this naughty week will take till next week to catch up with me though.

Went to the gym on Friday so I feel pleased that I'm making it into a bit of a routine now.
 
Oh dear I somehow gained almost 4lb overnight from Saturdays nice low weigh in and Sunday's weigh in has me putting on 2lb this week. Totally deserved mind you with all those take aways and meals out!! So back to the gym tonight and hopefully every night this week aside from tomorrow when I have class to get to. Not sure if that's a realistic goal or not but hopefully it will be as I'd love to shift as much of this 2lb gain next week as I can. Although I know it's my own fault it still scared me into action and yesterday was a 100% on plan day and hopefully today will be too.

Have a great Monday everyone and good luck for this week's slimming :)
 
Oh dear, back to the daily weighing now and today I've put on another half a pound since yesterday so not looking good for class tonight. I didn't get to the gym in the end as I spent the afternoon hiking across fields and hills, GPS pole and aerial in hand, getting very hot and more than doing my day's quota of body magic!

I also fell over a gate which was a bit embarrassing....my puny little girl arms just can't support my large body and all that weight so coming down the other side of a gate I slipped down it, bruised the back of my leg and landed on my weak ankle (typical right!?). It seems ok today though so still on for gym later in the week.

It made me realise as I puffed and panted along on the way back to the van up a hill that I'm far from fit enough or slim enough to do my job as well as I potentially could and that bothers me. I think as I've got back into 'normal' sized clothes I've become a bit more content with my size and have deluded myself a bit into thinking this is kind of ok. I'm not super fat anymore so in comparrison I feel better but I'm far from target so I have to try harder as this clearly isn't slim enough yet.

My initial goal was a size 16 which I'm just about at now (it's hard to picture a 16 when you haven't been there for 5 years or more) but I can now see a 14 should be achievable if I try. I've noticed as my trousers go down in size so does the width of the leg. I love my wide leg trousers and I like them to cover most of my shoes (size 7).....my feet aren't shrinking but as my trousers do they aren't big enough at the bottom anymore - why do companies make trousers like that!? Just cos my bum and belly shrinks the length of my feet and the size of my lower leg isn't going to shrink much. Does anyone else find this annoying? The 2 pairs of trousers I just bought look so tiny at the bottom to me like a tapered leg or a straight leg when they're supposed to be wide leg. I guess I'll have to get used to it :-( Buying clothes in smaller sizes is supposed to make you happy though isn't it. I've been told Oasis and Zara do proper flare/wide legs trousers but I'll have to get down to a 14 to shop in there.
 
Well I seemed a lot happier with my 1 pound gain than my friend did with her 3lb gain at class last night. Maybe 3 days being 100% had already had an effect on Sundays gain. One girl was crying after she'd weighed even though she'd lost 1.5lbs. I overheard her saying to her friend she'd tried so hard and was gutted it was so little!? Blimey love I'd happily swap, no matter how good I'd been 1.5lb to me would be a huge loss.

Gym tonight and some lovely chickpea dahl and rice for lunch. Have to get to Asda again as it was my last tin :eek: Consultant wanted me to do a food diary this week but not sure if I'll bother. I think it was because of my ups and downs lately she wants to help me by identifying where I'm going wrong.....even though I've already told her it was medication related and this weeks was lots of meals out. When I do it 100% I'm not going wrong, I know what I'm supposed to do. It's just not always the most yummy thing to do is it :rolleyes:

Back on track now though with a week ahead of no meals out for a change! I'm round a friends house for Eurovision on Saturday night and she'll no doubt want pizza or chips and dips so I'm already thinking ahead....finally tried the lasagne sheet crisps on the weekend and they were really yummy. I liked them slightly chewy still whereas my boyfriend chose to crisp his up a bit more. I'm odd like that. He tells me I don't cook my smash pizza base enough either. I think doritos are yum but not yum enough to ruin my week over so lasagne crisps it is :)
 
Eek, over did yesterday to the tune of 2 slices of bread but I'm hoping to claw that back today by being 100% on plan again. I don't think I'm doing too badly this week though and I've been exercising. Gym tonight and hopefully tomorrow and then I've finished week 4 of my silver body magic. I think gold is a way off but to maintain a silver level will be progress on how little I used to do. Not been given my bronze in class yet, I think she gets a bit behind with the fit logs. Might give her a gentle reminder about it after I've done the silver.

Things away from the diet are getting a little stressed and in my case that usually means I eat to feel better rather than stop eating. Oh how I wish I was one of those people who stopped eating when they were stressed and lost weight - I'd be at target in no time! Work is still a bit understaffed which is the way these days for everyone I expect with cut backs and my friend is still battling with her bowel cancer but is nearly at the end of her chemo which is a relief. Latest news is that my best friend is possibly moving away for a new job. We've known eachother over 9 years now and I'll really miss him if he leaves. Not sure my boyfriend will be particularly sympathetic as he'll probably be glad he's gone - understandably he's never been too impressed with my ex also being my best friend! I know he wouldn't want me to gain weight on his account though and make myself even more miserable so I'm going to try really hard to stick with it and keep the weight coming off. Who knows, if I get an invite to his new flat in a few months I might be able to surprise him by almost being at target :)
 
I also wish that I went off food when stressed EmmyLou, I would be stick thin! Sorry to hear that your best friend is possibly moving away and that you are feeling stressed. Don't do what I did last weekend EmmyLou, I fed my stress and ended up more stressed because I put on weight this week. You are doing so well Emmy Lou. x
 
Thanks Jane. x

I know it's so easy to let stress make us turn to food. It's that instant feeling of happiness and comfort when you tuck into a curry or a piece of cake but it always makes me feel awful afterwards when I think I've undone a weeks SW work and I'm even further from my target. I don't know what else would give me that instant happy feeling to replace the food mind you.

I find the gym makes my mind go quite blank for half an hour so that's one idea but I can't live there! Maybe I'll have to start doing stuff that relaxes me like painting my nails to keep my mind busy (although my boyfriend complains he gets a headache everytime I open a bottle of nail varnish!). I'm into wearing my birkenstocks to work at the mo in the nicer weather so painted nails would look nice. Yes, I'm going to try that. If nothing else I'll have very tidy nails rather than a fatter tum :)
 
Another 100% day done yesterday so that's 5 days in a row. I had a sneaky peek on the scales this morning as I hoped it was going to be having an effect...about half a pound off this week so far. Not bad I suppose, anything is better than nothing. Still 2 days till my Sunday weigh in so time to shift a tiny bit more at the gym later.

My boyfriend has threatened to ban cheese from the house if I don't lose weight this week :eek: I've had it a few times this week (my HEXA amount, no more than that) but he thinks it makes me gain weight. He's probably right but I love having smash pizza!

Stocked up on chickpea dahl last night so I can have some of that again next week for lunches. Must make that mushy pea curry again too as that was easy and tasty. I'm going to make some SW quiches to take to my friends house Saturday too along with the lasagne crisps. She's the friend who tends to not eat when she diets so I don't think I'll win her over on SW but I can try!

 
1.7lbs off this week!!! So most of last weeks gain gone. Feeling pretty chuffed about that and it makes me confident that the odd wobble with meals out can be rectified by getting back on the plan 100% in the future as no-one can diet 100% for the rest of their life can they, you have to enjoy yourself too ;)

I had a successful day of cooking on Saturday trying some new recipes. A mild salsa to go with my lasagne crisps turned out lovely, as did the potato salad. My boyfriend thought it was gross and tasted the cottage cheese twang, as did my Dad who turned his nose up as the taste. It was like watching a small child being fed something and waiting for him to dribble it back out down his chin! I personally thought it was delicious and have a bit in my lunch box today :)

Having said that my cooking went well Saturday so I'd have nibbles for watching Eurovision, I then went to my friends house and they were about to order an Indian! I was a bit rushed in getting there and hadn't actually eaten much all day so my SW defences were down and I gave in. I did have boiled rice and I didn't use all my korma sauce and the naan was about half the size they usually are.....ok I'm making excuses but it was yummy and I had a lovely evening (well aside from us being cheated out of victory by neighbourly voting in Europe of course!). I was all set to be back to it today but birthday cakes have been brought in and I went for a doughnut - doh! I guess I can be syn free for the rest of the day with what I have in my lunch box and mushy pea curry for tea which is syn free so it'll be ok.

 
I'd never dream of eating them on their own but in the curry they just bulk it out really and it's so quick and simple to make (the less saucepans used the better too!).
 
Just popped in to wish you a good weekend. Hope that you are ok as you havn't posted for a while. x
 
I'm feeling like a complete failure at the moment as I put 1.3lb back on this week. I seem to just be losing and gaining the same 2-3lb for the last couple months. This week I was a bit of a naughty girl though and had an Indian and a piece of cake one day for someones birthday but I feel like everyone else eats 'normal' food like that and is ok yet I'm punished and gain weight. It's not like I'm gorging on a whole cake or loads of take-aways every week, just the odd thing.

I know I don't deserve sympathy as I know this is my own doing and I know my own body and that I, like my boyfriend and many more of you out there, only have to look at food to gain weight. We're destined to spend our lives watching the calories, feeling constantly hungry and going to the gym just to stay the healthy weight others take for granted. I just get frustrated every now and again and lose the will power....unfortunately after doing the whole diet thing for a year or more now it's happening far more frequently. I guess each time I do it I only let myself go a couple pounds before sorting it out so that gives me some hope of maintaining this weight at least if not losing it.

Me and my boyfriend went to the company Spring Ball on Saturday night and I wore a dress I haven't worn for over 4 years and it fitted perfectly :D I've seen the photos and although they shocked me in the hair department the weight side of it was much improved. I didn't realise my hair had got quite so thin, there's barely anything there and it's so flat compared to the girl stood next to me that even though hers is fairly thin it looked positively voluminous compared to my half bald head :cry: On the positive side I could also see that although she's slim (size 10-12) I looked at myself and thought 'actually I'm only a bit bigger and I think I look quite average and normal now, no bulging and lumpy upper arm fat like I used to have, no 3rd and 4th chins and I have a waist'. My bracelet was loose too compared to last year and I made it the whole night in some heels I couldn't bear to even stand up in before I started losing the weight. Lots of NSV's :)
 
You are not a failure EmmyLou, I think that you have done amazingly well to stick with it when you have had health issues and battles with medication to deal with.We all need 'time out' occasionaly and I sometimes find that when I go straight back on to plan afterwards I am in a better frame of mind.

I can understand how you feel regarding your hair. I began to lose my hair when I was in my early twenties and its still very thin. I still get emotional about it. My husband says that he never notices it but thats because he loves me. I feel very envious of people with a full head of hair. Just remember that your boyfriend loves you because your you.

I hope that you are feeling a bit better than you were. Just want you to know that I have always appreciated your support, your openess and sense of humour.:) x
 
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