A question to all the pet owners

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Circes, 25 August 2010 Social URL.

  1. Circes

    Circes Strutting her stuff

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    I'm sorry that this is going to be such a depressing post :(

    I know a lot of you out there have pets and I need to hear your thoughts on the hardest decision we will have to make. The one to put them to sleep. How do you know when the time is right?

    My cat was diagnosed with a degenerative lung condition at Christmas. It has been medically managed but there is no cure and she has deteriorated over the months. She has become less active and spends most of her time in bed. But she is not well today, off her food and you can the catches in her breathing. I think the end might be near and it's breaking my heart. She is supposed to go for a check up on Monday but I will need to take her in earlier if she doesn't improve. I think she may not come back. It doesn't help that my parent's dog was put to sleep yesterday.

    And do you think it's better to be there when it happens or not? I am in two minds as I think she would be more reassured in my arms but I worry I'll be so upset that this will stress her out. If I'm not there when it happens should I see her afterwards?

    I'm also worried about the state I'll be in after and having to walk through the surgery waiting room and home. And about whether to have a cremation or bury her in the garden? Or just let the vet deal with her aftewards?

    Have any of you been through this terrible decision and are willing to give me some advice?
     
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  3. Spanx

    Spanx Pea on legs!

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    Hi Circes, so sorry to hear about your cat. I have been there three times - once with a dog and twice with cats.

    I think in your heart of hearts you will know when the time is right. Your pet will also know and you will tell from the look in his/her eyes that it is time to be merciful.

    I have always stayed while the vet does his work. I stroked my pets while they drifted off to sleep - in floods of tears - but I felt better for knowing that I was the last thing they saw. It really is very quick and very painless. Your pet will just drift off to sleep never to wake up. The vet will probably leave you alone with your pet for a few minutes for you to say your goodbyes, if you wish. Then it will be up to you whether you want to bring your pet home, or leave him/her at the vets. I have brought my cats home and buried them in the garden. I planted daffodils where I buried them and so am reminded of them every spring.

    Best of luck, sending hugs your way, Spanx x
     
  4. CornishPisky

    CornishPisky Full Member

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    Oh Circes, i am so sorry you have to deal with this. We had to have our elderly dog put to sleep a couple of years ago, & I well remember the turmoil. Our vet very kindly came out to our house, (it did cost us about £70, but we felt it was the most dignified way), and I held our dog whilst the vet did the necessary. We just knew that he was tired of all the daily struggle, & he had just had enough. I had a feeling of peace as I held him, & whilst yes, it was incredibly sad, I also knew that as he'd passed, he'd known that I was holding & hugging him. It was very sad, but also, dare I say quite reassuring for me that I was with him, he was in his own environment, & he went, secure in our love for him. I am sure you will make the right decision, & I am thinking so much about you xxx
     
  5. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    It's a terrible decission to have to make and my heart goes out to you.
    We used to have 2 cats,Rosie and muffin. Rosie was 15 and suddenly lost control of her bladder, I kinda knew it was the end and just knew it was her time-cant explain how but i did. I took her to the vets. I have to say they were excellent. I think they knew too and gave me an ppointment at the end of surgery so it would be queiter. Just as well i arrived and sat in the waiting room sobbing uncontrollably. I didnt care and everyone was so nice. The vet confirmed what i knew. I stayed iwth her and can honestly say it was so peaceful. Much better than i was expecting and i bought her home,we buried her in the garden.

    Barely 3 months later Muffin appeared to have a stroke of some kind. He didnt seem to be in any kind of pain or discomfort so ,again knowing what was coming we mae the decission that as long he remained thus, we would attempt to let him die at home. 3 days later he did, Huuby and i were both with hm and stroking him right to the end and beyond.

    I have experience of both 'routes' as it were and can honestly say both seemed right at the time. We loved them both and did what we felt was right.

    I can honestly say that even tho it's heartbreaking ( this happened 4 years ago and I am weeping as i type ) you WILL know what is the right thing to do. You love your pet and they love you and i think they know when it's time too.

    We have Nina now and she's lovey but you will never forget your girl. Nothing will ever replace her.

    I really dont know if this has helped but I can only wish you both the very best for the next few days, and after
     
  6. Sarah-Jayne

    Sarah-Jayne Gold Member

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    Hiya Circles. We are going through exactly the same with Pru (our cat) at the moment too. She was diagnosed with a abdomen tumor about 4 weeks back and was told that she has anything between 6 weeks and 4 months to live. They said that when she starts to go off her food we should take her back to the vets for that dreaded one way trip.

    The way we see it is that, sooner rather than later unfortunately, she is going to become really ill and the last thing we want to do is to cause her more stress by shoving her in a cat cage and taking her to the vets just so they can put her to sleep. Plus (and this isnt ment to sound selfish) I dont want to pay someone £100 to put my cat to sleep.

    Personally, I would give your kitty a LOT of TLC, keep her comfy and in familliar surroundings. If she wants to take herself off to a corner thn at least she is somewhere familliar and know she feels safe hun.

    We live in a flat so cant bury Pru when she goes unfortunately, but you do what you feel is right for you hun.

    Hope that helps, sorry if it doesnt! xxxxx hugs xxxxx
     
  7. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    She will tell you herself by her reactions to things like food and sleep. She will eat less sleep more. If you do not think she is in any pain or struggling in any way I would let her have as much time as possible at home.

    When ever I can I have my animals put to sleep here at home and always in my arms or with me cuddling them.

    It is the most distressing thing we ever have to do play God with our beloved pets. However it is the last act of kindness we can perform for them if they are sick and suffering.

    My heart goes out to you. I wish I was there to give you a hug.
     
  8. Leapfrog

    Leapfrog Champion actifryer

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    I can really sympathise. I have never had to make that decision but in some ways I wish I'd had the opportunity to make it - you'll see what I mean.

    One of my cats was very ill and stayed at the vets for several days for tests. I went to visit him on a Saturday evening and the vet said I could take him home for the weekend, as there was nobody there to look after him. This is when I should have realised he wasn't going to get better, but I didn't - and the vet didn't tell me either, though she must have known.

    Anyway, he suffered terribly that night, having spasms before dying in the small hours. I wish I could have spared him the pain, but I didn't know about the spasms before it was too late to return to the vet.

    On the other hand he died in familiar surroundings at home, still purring through his pain. I think, as others have said, you will know what to do when the time comes.

    Hugs to you.
     
  9. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

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    hun just don't know what to say sitting here crying..

    Whatever u decide it will be right for ur cat & family.

    Lots of hugs xxx
     
  10. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    I really feel for you & your family. Its such a hard decision to make, but whichever it is you'll know you made the right one.

    We've put a pet to sleep as she was suffering & we were there with her, we brought her home & buried her with a prayer.

    We also had an eldery cat, she was ill & we could see she was deteriorating but she didn't seem in pain, so we left her to go in her sleep.

    My thoughts are with you all at this very sad time.
     
  11. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    It is an emotional time for you, and you have my thoughts. I often think that it is a strange world we live in where we can make that decision on behalf of a beloved pet, but not on behalf of ourselves, but that is a whole other topic that doesnt warrant discussion here.

    While it is an emotional one, I think it is probably a good thing to give you some practical answers. From personal experience, I was with my mums dog when he was put down, about 18 months ago. Because he was too ill to take to the vets, the vet came out and so he was able to pass at home. My mum couldnt deal with it at all, emotionally, and so I went down there to be with him while it was done.

    I think if an animal is suffering, that there is no question that it is the kindest and most selfless thing you can do to take the one way trip with them. Of course it is going to be emotionally very painful for you, but for them, it is a lovely peaceful way to make the exit that all living things eventually have to make. Vets understand how hard it is for the owners and go out of their way to calm and reassure both the pet and the owner and make the experience as bearable as possible.

    You will be given the choice of whether to deal with the burial yourself or whether you want the vet to deal with it. There are a number of options available to you, depending on what is available in your area, much like with a human funeral. Vets tend to offer cremation, either alone so that you can have the ashes or with other pets (this is usually the much cheaper option of the two). There also may be some organisation in your area that has a pet burial/cemetery service, and if there is it is likely that the information about that can be obtained from your vet. However, if you have garden space and wish to deal with it yourself, then there is no reason why you shouldnt, and plant something memorable on the grave when you feel ready to.

    There is no easy answer, unfortunately, but you will know when the time is right and what you have to do when that time comes. Ultimately, the main factor has to be ensuring that your pet is not suffering. This condition is not going to get any better and so prolonging the suffering for both you, having to think about it, and your pet, having to live with it, may be better avoided.

    ***hugs to you and yours***
     
  12. krupskaya

    krupskaya Gold Member

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    My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. I have been in this situation with three elderly cats. I knew the time was right when they had no quality of life and were obviously suffering. I held them, crying, whilst they were given an injection. It was a great comfort to hold them in their last moments. Then I took them home to bury in the garden. I'm getting all emotional just writing about it.

    I would say definitely take someone with you as you'll probably be in a bit of a state. Don't worry what other pet owners in the waiting room think - they're a kindly bunch for the most part and will be sympathising with you. Good luck - you'll just know when the time is right. *Big hugs*
     
  13. eternity

    eternity Gold Member

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    We stayed with our dog while the vet di 'the deed' and the vet let us out of the back door so that we didn't have to walk out through the waiting room in a state.


    This is a very difficult time, I'll be thinking of you.
     
  14. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    I've never been through it with my own pets, my baby is only small.
    I didn't want to not post, I can't say anything which the others haven't already said. You will know when the time is right.
    Sending you my love. xx
     
  15. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    i didnt want to read and run but cant bring myself to read replies or il end up in tears, even the thought of going through that with my dog hurts!

    i can only imagine wat your going through, massive hugs and loves to you. Well done for being so strong!

    all my love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  16. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    I hope you get through this hearbreaking time - losing a pet is a terrible thing and i think you will know when you need to be strong and take that trip to the vets.

    I am close to tears reading what everyone is going through with various pet illnesses and i have lost pets myself in the past, and can totally empathise with what you will have to go through.

    You can get your pets cremated and then take them home with you another time. One of my friends has little wood containers with their past pet ashes in - in the shape of sleeping cats......not sure where they got them from but they are really lovely - might not be your thing though, i know some people scatter them in the garden where the cats used to play (or that sunny spot they always sit in!!!)

    Sending you lots of love xxx
     
  17. meadowbankles

    meadowbankles Silver Member

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    I'm so sorry to read this, I have dogs and this is the hardest decision. I would say be guided by your vet and accept when he tells you it's time. My dogs have had private cremations and I have their ashes in lovely little boxes that rest in their favourite spots. A colleague at work has had private cremations for her cats and she also has lovely boxes for them.
    Please remember - when the time comes, what you are doing is the very last kindness for your pet that you can. After years of companionship and love, this is your final thank you x
     
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  19. GracieMai

    GracieMai Full Member

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    I had to have my pet put to sleep last week and it was truely awful, although much better than watching her suffer. I thought I was making a terrible decision the night before but then on the morning she was so poorly that I knew it was the kindest thing I could do for her. I was mortified that I had to make the decision on my pets future, but in hindsight I know thats what she would have wanted and needed.

    I feel for you I really do. Only you can make the decision whats best for your pet. My thoughts really are with you on this one.

    We have our pets cremated and brought home to bury their box in the garden, like under the tree where my dog would go for a bit of shade in the summer, or by the rose bush where the cat would stop and sniff the flowers.

    xxxxxx
     
  20. captaincuddles

    captaincuddles Full Member

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    So sorry for you at this terrible time, be reassured whatever you decide you are doing the best you can for your much loved puss.
     
  21. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    How is she today Circes ??

    hugs xxxxx
     
  22. Circes

    Circes Strutting her stuff

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    Thank you all for your kind thoughts. My darling Millie passed over at 11.30am this morning. Even five minutes before we were due to leave for the vet she was purring away as I stroked her and giving me a nudge if I failed in my duties.

    The vet was lovely and understanding but it all happened so quickly that it feels like I didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye. I know it sounds crazy but it didn't register that the injection they were giving her was THE injection, and then it was all over. But it was painless and peaceful. I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be at the time, but then the shock wore off and it feels like my heart has been ripped from my body. Every little thing about the house reminds me of her and causes me pain, even the hairs on the duvet where she slept last night.

    Sleep well my love. You were there to see me through the worst times of my life and I'm so glad you chose to come back from the shelter with me.

    Millie
    26 November 1995 (when you came to live with me) - 26 August 2010

    [​IMG]
     
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