Achieving What Seems Like The Unachievable - My Diary

[burstingattheseams]

It's so weird bursting, at least half are posts I can never see!

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That's really strange!! Wonder if it's something to do with the settings, although have never changed them! I'll need to log on tonight on my laptop and have a proper look!!! Don't even know if you'll see this reply now haha!!

Aymz - can you see all my posts?x

 

[burstingattheseams]

Food log so far today:

2 boiled eggs
2 x hexb hifi bars
3 babybel light (hexa)
Carrots & l/f houmous (4.5 syns)
Melon
Daim bar (7 syns)

Iceland SW SP ready meal - not bought it yet but going to get one to try for diner.

Planning to finish with 11.5 syns for today x

 

[burstingattheseams]

Sooooo, here we go, my many reasons for working hard to lose weight (i've deliberately not used the 'trying' as i've been 'trying' for many years without any great deal of success or commitment) -

* I want to feel like ME again - i feel like as i've got heavier i've lost my identity and my confidence
UPDATE - starting to feel much more confident about myself still got a bit to go though.
* I want to feel young again - i'm in my 30's and not enjoying life the way i should be because of my weight and things that it stops me from doing
UPDATE - getting there, I think this will really relate to being able to fit into the clothes I want to wear - at a 14/16 I'm not there yet.
* I want to feel sexy again - i don't just now
UPDATE - Feel I'm getting my shape back so feeling more sassy and less frumpy!
* I want to be normal - while i get that everyone has different hang ups/issues (a lot more serious than their weight) I want to have days that go by where I'm not inhibited by my weight
UPDATE - I'm starting to feel more 'normal' e.g all my jackets close now - that's a good start. Also lost my round face!!
* I want to fit into ALL the clothes in my wardrobe - I have a wardrobe and chest of drawers full of beautiful clothes in a size 12 that i can not longer even nearly fit into (currently size 16/18)
UPDATE : I had a try on session tonight and fitted into a dress that i bought at sales in 2011/12 and have never worn due to not fitting! Result! A long way to go till i'm in size 12's but it's really encouraging to be seeing a noticeable difference!
* I want to have a waist and not have a stomach that sticks out to just about the same place as my boobs!
UPDATE: very much a work in progress - my stomach is slowly getting smaller but still the part of me that I hate the most. I put weight on my middle last, prior to that I was always very well proportioned and could carry a bit extra as a result.
* I want to be proud of myself and accomplish something - not give up when it gets hard.
UPDATE: Very very proud of myself and what I've achieved so far
* I want to be fit and healthy - or at least fit into my gym clothes so I can start working on that part!
UPDATE: will gloss over that one!
* I want to be a healthy weight to try to have a baby.
UPDATE: still trying but wouldn't feel as scared about my weight if I fell pregnant now.
* And if I get pregnant I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy and actually look like i'm pregnant and not just fat.
UPDATE: N/A
* I want to lie in bed at night on my back without the fat around my boobs being pushed up into my neck
UPDATE: Not a problem anymore!!
* I want to be able to bend over to tie my laces/put my boots on etc without feeling that i can't breath because of all the fat in my stomach pushing on my organs.
UPDATE: Not a problem anymore!
* I want to feel petite again (i'm only 5ft 3") and not always like the biggest girl in the room
UPDATE: Nearly!
* I want to wear skirts and dresses without my thighs rubbing together and getting sore.
UPDATE: It's cold so still wearing leggings so can't tell - suspect a bit to go till that's not a problem

That will do for now! I'm sure i'll add to it as i think of more! That was quite theraputic lol!

Night xx[/QUOTE]

So been having a great night tonight trying on clothes that are starting to fit me. This has been a big boost and made me think back to where I was when I started at 15st.

This is a post that I did just after joining mini ' s - thought it would be good to take stock and update it to see where I'm at!!

 

[Aymz]

Sounds great. I like that you've done that Update, I might try and do something similar myself.

I've not had a problem reading your posts. They never come up as blank for me.

 

[burstingattheseams]

Where is ur diary Aymz, I've never come across it. Sometimes difficult to work out who's diary is whose! Although just downloaded the new app so seems a bit easier to navigate around x

 

[burstingattheseams]

Morning all just realised I never updated food diary for last couple days -.

Can't really remember what I had on Wed But was good foodwise, I think I had -
Bfast - 2 boiled eggs
Snack - 3 babybel light (hexa) & 2 hifi bars (hexb)
Lunch - chicken (1/2 syn) m&s humous with carrots (5 syns)
Snack - melon & daim bar (7 syns)
Dinner - SP soup

Total syns 13.5 (although might have my days mixed up)

Yesterday -
Lunch - baked potato tuna mayo and salad (2.5syns)
Snack - 3 Reece ' s peanut butter cups (14 syns) - not a good choice
Hifi bar (hexb)
Dinner - SP soup with 30g cheddar (hexa)

Total syns 16.5

Going to have a better day today syn wise and try to stick to around 7.

 

[burstingattheseams]

Well....So much for only having 7 syns today - that totally didn't happen!! I was off today so ended up having a few treats more than I would normally have.

While I went over my syns quite a bit, it's also worth acknowledging that I didn't eat enough free/speed food today, or eat often enough. Apart from a skinny hot choc and a cream egg during the day I only had one meal. That's not healthy and not something that I make a habit of.

So food today was -
Bfast - none
Snack - Skinny Hot chocolate (hex a) & 5 syns
Lunch - none
Snack - creme egg (8.5 syns)
Dinner - braised steak with veg, mushrooms, broccoli and new potatoes (cooked in hex b olive oil). 2 Yorkshire puds (8 syns) and gravy (2 syns).
Just to add to the damage I had a glass of red wine - was lovely (6 syns)

Total syns - 29.5 oops!!

Will try again to aim for 7 tomorrow!!

 

[burstingattheseams]

So far a good day, better than yesterday anyway!! I had fried egg (fry light) rolls (2Xhexb's) for brunch and some fruit salad (strawberries, nectarine and plums). Had some ketchup on my rolls so 1 syn so far today. Got a salad planned for dinner so should be a good EE SP day.

My husband and I had a laugh earlier - we were putting away last night's dishes and he commented on the weight of the casserole dish - it really is heavy (Le cruest style). I got the scales out an it weights a stone. I think he was quite impressed that i had lost one and a half casserole dishes haha!! The really weird thing is that i would struggle to lift a few together - i have at least another three dishes to lose!! Who knows how our bodies cope carrying all that extra weight!!

 

[burstingattheseams]

Finished strong today!! Made a really nice salad with chicken, bacon, egg, lettuce, cucumber, spring onion and beetroot. Had fruit salad for desert - all speed fruits. Then a packet of quavers while watching a film (4.5 syns)

5.5 in total for the day

Totally zonked today - feel like u never quite woke up properly. Hopefully will feel a bit more alert tomorrow xx

 

[burstingattheseams]

Been working today and just finished. My syns were used from early in the day - had a donut when I got to work @ 14.5 syns so no more syns for me today!!

So today's food -
Breakfast - donut (it was worth every syn!)
Lunch - Smoked salmon and salad
Snacks - Strawberries & 2 hifi light bars (hex b)
Dinner - will be SP soup and hex a cheddar. Got some fruit for after

Had a bit of a strop today - lots of my clothes don't fit me anymore!! Don't ask me why I was in a huff about this as it's a great thing!! Only thing was I had nothing to wear as a lot was in the wash. I went to wear a skirt I have never worn as it was too small - and it is too big! Haha!

I think I'm in between sizes at the moment, lots of my 14 ' s are still too small but some of my 16 ' s are massive and look stupid. Can't wait till i'm having this problem with my 14 ' s! !

I'm on holiday from work on Wed for a week and a half - I think I need to go through my wardrobe and start trying on things to sort out what fits, what is still too small, and what needs to go to the charity shop. There is no way I'm keeping my 'big clothes'!!! I think that will be a good day!!

 

[elsbels]

Can't beat the feeling of clothes being too big! I bet it won't be long until 14 is causing you the same trouble!! X

 

[Aymz]

I had a diary (which I think is still in my signature if you are reading on the website) but haven't updated it probably in a year or so. I need to start a new one but haven't gotten around to it yet.

 

[burstingattheseams]

A bit of a weird day food wise. I'm well within my syns for the day and stayed on plan but I feel like I've eaten too much!

Breakfast was melon
Lunch was Scotch broth
Mid afternoon snack - a twirl (11.5 syns) Need to stop using my syns on big ticket items lol!!

Dinner was a bit weird, I didn't leave work till 7 and was totally STARVING!! A passed someone that had chips and they smelt amazing! I was fighting with myself and then decided that I wasnt going to go off plan.

Got home about 8 and made some batchelors pasta up with water - had it with hex a cheddar as a bit of a starter to stave off the hunger till I could make a sensible dinner.

Dinner about 9 was toast (hexb), eggs, bacon, beans and mushrooms.

Felt like a total pig - but was totally full and satisfied. It was all free food and the alternative was a scampi supper from the chippy so not all bad!

I think the main lesson I need to take from today is to always have healthy snacks at hand so I can eat little and often rather than getting totally starving!!

 

[burstingattheseams]

Ps - weigh day tomorrow.... hope I'm not bloated after the pasta!!

 

[burstingattheseams]

Well the good news is that I'm 1.5lbs lighter ☺
The bad news it that I had a bit of a binge tonight - feeling bloated and annoyed with myself. Again didn't eat enough during the day, came home and made a SW friendly dinner and then picked and snacked all night - I reckon about 45 syns in total - sigh - not going to say anymore about it, instead I'm drawing a line under it.

I'm off work now for a fortnight, should be easier to stick to as I struggle at work if disorganised - that's when I end up either having big syn items, or simply just not eating enough during the day.

Spa day tomorrow - can't wait! Hope the bloat is gone in the morning!!x

 

[Aymz]

Oooh enjoy the spa and well done on the loss! Good luck with the coming weeks.

 

[Aymz]

So I just wrote a quick update on my old diary (in my sig) but realised it's in the silver members area so that might be why you can't see it. I think you need over a certain number of posts.

 

[burstingattheseams]

Hi all, I've been a bit quiet last few days..to busy eating to type

Yesterday at the spa was lovely, had a great day and we had a pretty healthy lunch which was good. It all went a little downhill afterwards though - we went for dinner and for some reason I was totally starving!! It was hard work doing nothing all day

So made really poor choices and felt pretty bloated and annoyed with myself after! Had mac cheese with chips and garlic bread, then cheesecake for after - was lovely but did nothing for my bod, especially after my big binge on Tues night.

Feeling a lot more positive today - having lots of speed foods and going to ditch the carbs for a few days and follow SP.

Will update later today on food (and hopefully some exercise!)

Before I go I just wanted to update on my stats! A little extra motivation to get me back on track!

I've lost 22.5lbs and that is showing on my bod as 18.5"

I've lost the following:
Waist: 4"
Hips: 5"
Bust: 2"
Arms: 1"
Bottom of thighs (above knee): 3"
Top of thighs: 3.5"

 

[Aymz]

Wow!! Well done on the weight and inch loss..that's fantastic!

 

[burstingattheseams]

At a bit of a loose end today so rather than cleaning the house which I should have done I tried on all my clothes haha!

Was quite an interesting experience!! Apart from one dress (coast size 12 ultimate goal dress) there was nothing that wont fit me once I get another 7lbs - 1 stone off. I'm encouraged that if I keep going I will actually have some nice clothes to wear in spring and summer This will be a big change from the last 3/4 years!!
Tried the dress for the wedding again with my big pants!! It's looking okay - still would like it to sit slightly better but it's wearable!! Have another 9 days to the wedding so good days/low carbs between now and then will definitely help!!

The clothes I tried on today were my 'normal clothes' not big and not small. My slim clothes are all vacuum packed and away in another room. They will be my next project once all my 'normal clothes' are fitting well x