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Advice please re Girls Night In - Am I being selfish?

Lucky7

Gold Member
#1
My two best pal ALWAYS stay in (alone) on a Friday night. They have come up with the idea of having a girls night in. We've done this before a few times, and the routine is to eat takeaway (not interested in doing that for starters), and having some drinks while we watch 2 or 3 films in a row. Then we go home.

Now - if there was some kind of social interaction going on then maybe I'd be up for it. Basically we only just got back from a week away together last weekend, and are DJing together next Friday night and gigging together next Saturday night.

I would, quite frankly, prefer to go out with my boyfriend and see our 'other' friends. I have no interest in take-away or watching films. Am I a really crap friend if I don't go?

HONEST opinions please.

Ta.

xx
 
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Debs154

Trying again!!
#2
Definately not in my opinion - you have just got back from being away with them so I'm sure there are lots of other people who would like to see you too!

The majority of my friends have got used to me turning them down if I don't want to actually do something, there are 1 or 2 who kick up a fuss but to be honest I don't particularly regard them as close anyway.
 
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Lucky7

Gold Member
#3
Cheers Debs - I just feel like I'm letting them down (emotion / sentiment), and something else was telling me that they can stuff their faces and watch TV just as well on their own without me falling asleep next to them (I NEVER watch films or TV much) - but wasn't sure if it was the voice of Common Sense or Selfish Moo.

x
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
#4
Nah! If you don't enjoy it just say that you have lots to do, and possibly invite them round for a SW friendly evening later. Have you got a Wii? You could dance the night away.
 
#5
Common Sense!! Deffo!! True, grown up friends understand if you just don't want to do somehting. Different if on was going through a crisis and asking for you to support. Different if it was something planned and arranged. A takeaway and films, well I'd rather do that in my own house!!

Lynda
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
#6
Cheers girls.
Now to compose the text...
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
#7
Did it - but feel terrible.
I'm such a bloody people pleaser - no wonder I've turned into a doormat at work. Now I don't know whether to feel guilty or angry (with myself).

Sigh.
 

mcv

Silver Member
#8
Dont feel guilty, you spent time with them last week end and doing so next weekend.
I think your friends should understand/ or may do so with out you realising, that you need time alone or to spend with boyfriend or other friends.
If they dont understand that, they are the ones being selfish
 

Lucky7

Gold Member
#9
Thanks.
Did feel a bit bad when I saw her boyfriend last night and he said one of the others had changed her mind and decided not to go because she was too tired.
Think I'll have to have a chat re changing it to girls nights OUT instead of girls nights IN. I prefer to be in alone. My home is my cave lol.
 
#10
I'd personally suggest that now its getting sunnier, you should all meet for a girls day out/night out once a month, say you want to make sure you all see each other reguarly, and to avoid letting each other down you could all agree on a certain date, and everyone knows that thats your night. Say the 2nd saturday of the months type of thing.


My best friend and i love each other to bits but it can be difficult to meet up sometimes, and although were always there for each other when one of our OH are away and are at a lose end, we appreciate that we spend the time we have free with them as they work so much, but in order to see her atleast once a week, its ALWAYS a wednesday night, thats just how it is, we go to sw, and then we alternate whos house we go to so that we arnt constantly kicking one of our boyfriends out haha, and we eat and watch telly and have a good old catch up.. so if i cant make shopping on saturday, its not weeks before i get a chance to see her, .. and its even more important now that shes going to be a mum, for me to see her.. and itl give her a night off and a chance for babba and daddy to spend time on there own.


your not being disloyal or a bad friend, your a grown up with your own life to lead! - mean sure.. i used to see my bessie every single night and weekend, it was just like an unwritten rule.. but that was when we were young and single! lol were all grown up with responsibilitys now.. cant be down the pub everynight now!
 
#11
I think you did the right thing. Too often we go along with other peoples ideas at the expense of our own feelings.
How many times over the years have i been somewhere not really enjoying it and thinking i wish i was at home. Especially when we all work so hard and days/nights off are all so precious to us.
As ive gotten older im more honest and not so much a people pleaser (as ive always been)....time is precious xx
 
#12
Saw them on Saturday anyway - and we're all DJing this Friday night at the same gig which should be fun (if a bit nervewracking - not done it for a while).

Thanks for the support you lot. I love this forum x
 


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