advice required xxxxxx please :)

[SandraB]

totally know where your coming from. im so sorry to hear that. if something happened to heidi i know id fall to pieces emotionally..doesnt bare thinking about..and this is from someone who only 4 years ago was afraid of dogs..just shows how you can change. i only wish id tried having a dog earlier now

h x

They steal rather a large piece of your heart but you get so much back, priceless x

 

[harriet2]

removed...

 

[Zebs07]

im feeling emotional drained..i decided to try and sort myself out and get some councelling so i went to the dr and had to talk about it..8 years of trying to block out when i was assulted in my own home by someone ive known since i was a child, has not worked....

thats a bit heavy...sorry

No - forget heavy! You shud be proud if yourself - twice over! Not only for going to docs, but for writing that on here. That is such a HUGE step!

I won't lie to you - the emotional drainage will not stop just cos u've spoken up, but the perspective of said emotions will change very quickly. Plus u gotta keep talking now you've started - even if it feels like ur talking obsessively to anyone and everyone for a few weeks, still do it! You gotta work it all out your system from all angles - it wud be too easy to lock that mental door again and u mustn't do that!! You've been hurt and betrayed and ur sense of safety compromised - and I'm afraid all those feelings and more need to be explored and purged!

Well done, pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug and most of all, NEVER EVER let guilt compromise you! You are not guilty of anything - be it regarding the attack or how you've chosen to deal with it till now, or how u deal with it from now on. Dont feel guilty about 'not being able to handle it' or 'boring' people by talking about or being 'pathetic' if u keep getting upset or angry or withdrawn etc. Don't allow our ridiculous human nature tendency to pile guilt on ourselves, to compromise you!! Also when ur struggling, imagine ur the friend listening to someone else and how you wud respond/comfort her etc - and apply that to yourself.

Sorry going on too much! Its all easier said than done I know ...

Hugs hugs hugs times forty million billion x

 

[summergurl]

Nothing is too heavy for on here honey. We are all here for each other, after all this is a support forum and us lot here in maintainence talk about everything (well i know i do! :giggle

Well done for taking that huge step of seeking advice and help, you are one brave woman.

xxx

 

[harriet2]

all i can say is thanks...ive kept this locked in for so long its going to be difficult but any support along the way would be really really appreciated xx

on a lighter note the maintenance came today! hurray lol

h x

 

[harriet2]

start tomorrow oh and ive somehow lost 3lbs this week too! must be all that digging! bring it on! lol

h x

 

[SandraB]

I've had therapy Harriet......it's really hard particularly as, under hypnosis (which I had) you get to remember stuff that you'd long since forgotten and would probably prefer to forget......but it does help hugely in the healing process. My particular demons had been buried for about 46 years! I'll warn you I used to come out of some of the sessions in tears, feeling really faint and so weak that I could barely stand.....

God bless x

 

[JanD]

******hugs****** .... you can do it and will feel MUCH better for it.

Well done on the 3lbs & good luck with the maintenance products xx

 

[irish molly]

You poor darling. You sound in such pain. I can't add to what has been said. Some things in life can not be gone round rather, we must go through them. This is one such time in life for you. Take good care of yourself as you make this difficult journey.

 

[harriet2]

another busy weekend. steve had the day off yesterday so we spent it cycling 20 miles from bradford upon avon to bath and back..it was a lovely day, lots of people about and you certainly see some interesting things along those canal paths was totally exhausted though last night and slept like a baby!

today we went to a new gardening centre which opened near here and took mil and bil with us and spent some money on seeds n stuff and then spent another 2+ hours up the allotment digging i really enjoy it up there..and would be relaxed if it wasnt for the fact that the man and i use that word loosely, as id really like to call him something else, who made himself known to me rather more than id like, has an allotment only just down from ours..this is partly why im doing the councelling now cause i wont go up there alone incase i see him and i dont know how id react. sad but true its just got beyond a joke and i need to get the b*****d out of my life once and for all..

h x

 

[harriet2]

food yesterday was:
b - cereal bar - 200
l - main bar - 200
d - wm bagel with salmot fillet, salad
s - slice lemon drizzle cake, half packet spicy crisps

cycled 20 miles? no idea on calories x

today -
b - cereal bar 180
l - wm bagel with salmon fillet, salad
d - power bar 200 fruit and soya yogurt
s - small slice of homemade brownie, 1 can budweizer, 1/2 packet spicy crisps

again no idea on calories..can anyone enlighten me?

heavy digging for 2+ hours



h xx

 

[summergurl]

Aw chick I hope the counselling helps you heaps you are so brave even to face him at your allotments.

Try out myfitnesspal for working out your calories it's great x

 

[irish molly]

The bike ride sounded lovely. I holidayed there many years ago and it was lovely place.
Hope the counselling will give you some perspective and it will help you to heal. It must be awful to see that man around your area. How awful for you. Xx

 

[SandraB]

Sounds like a good day Harriet.........I do admire your bravery, I hope that it all works out x

 

[kered]

Wishing you well - big hugs xx

 

[harriet2]

thanks everyone xxxx massive hugs, it means such a lot

food yesterday and today

b - power bar 200
l - -
d - wm bagel with ham, pickle, sprinkling of cheese and was ok! fruit and soya yogurt
s - packet of crisps 13 (yes 13 calories!), brownie (large slice)

ran 1 3/4 miles with heidi x

today
b - cereal bar 200
l - -
d - bagel with salmon fillet, salad, mustard, stawberries and soya yogurt
s - 4 biscuits

running 1 3/4 miles with heidi again getting easier again, hurray!

i also got my new android smartphone yesterday ...so i can have a phone with me which i never have before when im out running and have music at the same time so i feel more secure stupid not to have before but my phone was so old it kept conking out all the time. its a htc wildfire? its a bit scary lol

h x

 

[kered]

I have the HTC desire HD, I love it.
Well done on the running.

 

[harriet2]

I have the HTC desire HD, I love it.
Well done on the running.

i will once i work out how to use it! i got it yesterday but theres no power bars showing at all..it did say in the instructions that connection could take up to 72 hours ..is that what it means?

h xx

 

[kered]

I had mine for 3 days, and it still wasnt connected, Xmas holidays didnt help, but when I phoned up, its just a security thing, they need Royal Mail to let them know its been delivered.

Just give your provider a call and let them know you have the phone and they will probably just get you to switch the phone off and on again. Thats how simple it was with me.

 

[harriet2]

I had mine for 3 days, and it still wasnt connected, Xmas holidays didnt help, but when I phoned up, its just a security thing, they need Royal Mail to let them know its been delivered.

Just give your provider a call and let them know you have the phone and they will probably just get you to switch the phone off and on again. Thats how simple it was with me.

thanks mary..when i got home and switched it on it was connected..ive been fiddling with it off n on all evening lol