AJs Maintenance Journey Part 1

Mrs L,

We didn't have a Bank Holiday (sob)...

If you look at my ticker, you will see that there is just over a month 'till the holiday!

"....I bought something called a Backlife...."

What's that, Mrs L?


"....Will listen out for stray farts and let you know if it has that 'yoga' effect...."

Johnny, you certainly learn stuff on this site... whether you want to or not! I am now concerned that, next time you hear one, you will think of me!
 
Hi AJ

Quick reply as should not be on the laptop doing this now! Ha ha

Saw your comment re ticker...doh!!!

Anyway, be warned, the link to the Backlife website comes up as a promotional tag so it's not me being pushy.

Here's the link - you just click on it. If it doesn't work, let me know and I'll post again tomorrow.

With the crap weather and all our packing, we didn't feel any benefits of the Bank Holiday so you are not alone!!!

Right...Backlife...

Backlife is the first consumer device that offers back pain home remedies!

Good luck.

Mrs Lxxx
 
Thanks for that link Mrs L, what a weird contraption, eh!

I haven't been on for a few days. I have been doing lots of research for our holiday. We will be visiting Gibralta, Corsica, Ibiza, Civitavecchua (Rome), Cagliary, Cadiz, Lisbon, and Vigo. I have been checking out local transport, street maps, places of interest to visit etc. I have also been looking at various cruise review sites to read personal reviews of the ship.

It has been very interesting to read about peoples experiences with Navigator. For example, I find that the ship has a very strict 'no bringing alcohol on board' policy, to the extent that they search all bags and take away bottles, which are only returned when you leave the ship at the end of the holiday. What this is all about, I don't know. It is not relevant to us though, because we never bring drink on the ship for our own consumption anyway. It has certainly upset some people who had written reviews though. I've also found out that Royal Caribbean charge for shuttle buses into the nearest town - about $4 each person seems to be the going rate. This is disappointing because other cruise companies (P&O for example) put on free buses. I am not impressed with this policy.

Another irritation is that there is a 'cover charge' for some restaurants. There are still plenty of places where you can eat 'free', but I don't particularly like this insidious creeping in of payments for things previously free, type thing.

It never used to be like that. I suppose that people new to cruising won't know any better, but cruise companies had better watch out because experienced cruisers will just go elsewhere if they feel shortchanged.

We've been cruising for about 12 years and my hubby has kept a lot of our papers from the cruises. When we have been with P&O we get an invitation to the Captain's Cocktails do on the first formal evening (everyone does). Adrian showed me all the invitation cards from the cruises we'd done with P&O. The first was made of really thick card, but each subsequent one was of thinner card, until the latest was really flimsy.

I still love cruising though because I really do relax, and I feel the children are safe too. They don't have to stay with us all the time (boring for them) and the kids club 'youthies' are fantastic, young and experienced with young people. I love dressing up for dinner too (particularly now), and sitting on deck watching the sun set. I love waking up to a new country every morning, looking out at the port and people. I love walking around streets, browsing around local shops (I always mooch around the supermarkets - fascinating), and looking at houses and peoples' gardens/plants. If the weather is fine, it's even better.

One place we visited a couple of years ago we found by accident. It was a disused castle-like building and grounds filled with lots of feral cats and kittens. We sat and watched them for ages interacting with each other. There was an old man who was feeding them. We chatted with him in sign language mostly although he had lived in Britain for a time when young. His grasp of Engish was almost non-existent, just as our Spanish was rubbish. We communicated well enough though. It was one of those special memories.

One very important point to remember if we do our own excursions, rather than the ships's ones, is that we cannot be late back to the ship - it will go without us! This does happen too. If it does, we would have to make our way to the next destination at our own expense. Ouch, an expensive mistake. I am making sure that we will be back on board in plenty of time, needless to say.
 
Sounds wonderful AJ! I'd love to go to Cagliary - when I lived in France I knew someone from Sardinia and it did sound a fantastic place. I've never been on a cruise and probably never will as my husband gets seasick(doesn't stop him racing yachts and dinghies though!). I've always wanted to travel to New York on a liner - no doubt inspired by reading Enid Blyton's Queen Elizabeth Family as a child. Happy researching - the anticipation is almost as good as the holiday.
 
Here's another post.

I went to our headteachers retirement meal on Friday night. Chose the soup (it was ok, just had half of it), gammon steak for main course (it was fried in oil), and fruit for dessert. It was a three course pre-paid meal including coffee and glass of wine. I was driving so 'donated' my wine to Ann, who probably needed it more than I did.

During the course of the evening I chatted with the retiring headteacher. He was very complimentary about me and said now much he appreciated my work when he'd been headteacher. It was interesting how I found it difficult to accept his positive comments inside. I immediately discounted what he had said. Then, just as quickly, countered that with lots of arguments justifying his comments. Nonetheless, deep inside I still felt a great difficulty in accepting what he said. This core belief I have been carrying around for so long is going to be difficult to remove or delete.

However, I will just keep going and keep doing what I'm doing and, in time, I will come to believe that I am a great person who has lots of qualities and can achieve anything!
 
These core beliefs are hard to change. I think it must take months or years to alter them - but at least we are becoming aware of them, which is the first step. I keep listening to the management CDs (in the car or in the kitchen instead of background music) in the hope my mind will eventually take it all on board.
 
I also agree, core beliefs and also deep seated behaviour are indeed hard to change, or at times, even challenge.

I have a friend, the lady who introduced me to LL, who has almost reached her BMI 25. In doing so she has lost over 6.5 stone. I saw her this Monday, and we chatted about all things LL related. One subject I raised was that of getting rid of all the "outgrown" clothes. I told her that my MIL volunteers in a local Oxfam, and that her manager is only to pleased to get my old stuff, as apparently, there is quite a call for bigger ladies things, but not many are donated!! (In fact I just put together another bag full for her, as OH is off to Sunday roast there with the children any minute!)

Anyhow, this friend told me that, despite her brilliant acheivement, she refuses to throw out her old, big stuff as "I have done so many diets before and I always regain weight.". This is surely a core belief she needs help addressing? I have thought about a private email to our (shared but not same group) LLC, because I am seriously concerned that she hasnt yet gained the right mind-set to enable her to deal with management. Any thoughts?

My own demons are constantly resurfacing at the moment too. I have had a brilliant week, both food wise and emotionally, but once again, I let the chatterbox get the better of me yesterday, and ate hugely. I've no idea why, as there were truthfully nothing but positive thoughts going on in my head. I am ok again today, but cold kick myself for allowing this to happen again. I am fairly regretful that I wont be one of those LLers who can hand on heart say that not a morsel of illicit food or drink had ever crossed my lips! Its almost as if it could be a self fulfilling prophecy that "I never have seen a diet through to the end"! Still, bit well & truly between the teeth again, and off we go!

AJ, your cruise is getting so close! WOW! I have only done two myself, but would definately say that I am addicted, and when finances allow, will be off again like a shot! You are so right when you say that the ship waits for no-one. Two years ago when we did the Med cruise with Royal Caribbean, on a couple of occasions we saw the pilot boat racing after the ship, as it was sailing, with a couple of worried looking passengers on board! We are also guilty of taking a bottle of gin on board with us too! It wasnt spotted nor taken, but we didnt touch it at all!! They did remove any shore bought alchohol though. I understand that it is purely so we, the client, were obliged to buy they drinks if we wanted a G&T or whatever. A bit cheap, when you consider the cost of a cruise, but I guess thats business for you.

My brother in law is a First Officer with P&O, he heads communications etc. As part of the family we are supposedly able to book discounted trips, but in reality this never happens. When we looked into a Caribbean cruise with his ship (then the Golden Princess) it was actually better value to book via a cruise specialist than to take the direct option with P&O!

Well, we have two months until our family break this year. The children are already counting down to it, as they are most excited abut staying in their own villa, with a pool all to themselves. I am looking forward too, but also with some concerns. I will not be any where near management by then, but as we so rarely go away, I do want to be able to partake in some of the local fare etc. (I adore real paella.) I have read with great interest the threads on Minis about breaking abstinence and then returning, about how hard it can be. I am almost certain now that I will be making my own decision over this one. At the moment I am leaning towards perhapa 3 packs a day, and one meal, with a limited amount of alcohol. I have yet to discuss this in any depth with my LLC so will not make any firm choice until that happens, after all there are two months to go!

Sorry to have wittered on again all, been great chatting with you again!!

xx
 
Thanks for your lovely post, Sarah,

Your talking about paella reminded me of when we went to Mallorca last October. I sat and watched my family scoff a giant pan of authentic, yummy-looking paella. All that was on my mind was "I really want some, but come summer, you will be on holiday and eating again, and you can have paella and really enjoy it".

Less than a month now...

Went to meeting tonight. Lost about half a pound. I was somewhat surprised because I have tried to up my food this week - with some success I thought.

I got some authentic black russian bread ealier in the week. It is normally massively expensive but had been reduced to 50p. It looked alarming and weighed a ton. It is a very dense bread, dark greyish and a bit moist-looking. I cut a couple of pieces (very thin) and toasted them. One I had with jam (!) and the other with a piece of rather gorgeous apple, cinnamon and sultana cheese. Well, I am sold on this bread - it is amazing toasted.

I have eaten out a few times this week as well. What I have noticed is that I am happy to leave food on my plate when I have had enough when eating out. I don't often do it at home, and I think that it is because I automatically put enough on the plate, not too much. We talked about this at the meeting, it made me realise that I have come a long way and I really do feel a lot more confident about the holiday, and my ability to leave stuff on the plate when necessary. I have been doing it for a few months anyway!

I met a friend who I hadn't seen for some months as she had moved back to England. She was gobsmacked and asked how I had done it. I arranged for her to come to my house for coffee and we had a really good chat. The last time I had seen her, I had given her my number but she had not phoned me. I couldn't get in touch with her because she'd moved so it was lovely to see her again.

It turned out that she had been isolating herself because of depression and even blacked out her windows to keep out the light. How awful. I told her about the CBT and she said that she had had some great support through doing CBT to help her with alcohol issues. This was the first time she had talked about this with me and it made a lot of things clear. I am pleased that she has moved back to a nearby village and is in much better spirits, looking into going back into further enducation, and now we will be able to keep in touch properly.

I glanced at my holiday tracker before, 26 days and counting....
 
Hello Everyone on the Thread

There's A LOT here and, as usual, the quality is tiptop! AJ there is much to think about so I am going to reply in the next couple of days (well, that's my aim). Sarah - I thought you wrote such a great post, I really did.

Goombagirl - hope you are ok?

Back properly by the end of the week. Thanks for doing such insightful posts; they were great to read.

Take care everyone.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Hey AJ
I do love reading your management thread!

Hope you don't mind me posting this here but your recent posts about 'people being complimentary' about your new look is something that's troubling me just now, and I wondered how you were handling it?

For way too many reasons to go into, I've not made any official announcements that I'm doing LL, other than to my friends and family. I just can't bear it being the talking point, particularly at work. Anyway, now that I'm over 5st down the comments are flying. They're all very positive and I really don't want to sound whingey, but they're starting to freak me out and yesterday I actually got really angry with this girl at work who literally interrogated me "I can't believe how amazing you look, what have you been doing, tell me everything" She just wouldn't let it drop.

Now for me, my 'lil LL journey is all about killing some life long demons and dealing with some massive issues. It's not up for discussion with a virtual stranger at the coffee machine. I just can't bear it!! I was soooo angry, I mean, how would people feel if I just started randomly commenting on their physical appearance? I was really thinking, 'what right have you got to ask me about this?!'
Don't get me wrong, I truly value all of the fabulous comments from my F's & F's, but the others - it's driving me nuts! I guess it's a bit like being constantly on the end of unsolicited advice! 'Did I ask for your opinion?' That kind of thing.

I wondered if anyone else was experiencing this? At the minute I'm just kind of mumbling 'thanks' and trying to move the conversation on!
Why am I so anti-positive strokes??!!
I'm just going to have to live with it aren't I? :)
I must find a more positive mental state about this one!
 
Tiger Girl, you're not the only person who feels like that! I found the foundation session which dealt with asking for positive strokes quite uncomfortable. Yes it's nice to get the odd favourable comment from people you know well but I too am not keen on the other stuff. Fortunately I've managed to side step most of it! I'm sure AJ will have some insight into this.
 
Mrs L, I look forward to hearing from you soon!

TigerGirl, your post made me think carefully about the comments I had received and particularly who from. I vaguely remember in the early days feeling somewhat uncomfortable with compliments and being (or feeling like I was) centre of attention. I didn't like being the centre of any attention. I was always dressing or behaving to cover up or be invisible. How ridiculous to think back now. How did I ever imagine that I wasn't noticed! Self-delusion certainly went a long way.

I agree with what Goombagirl said about positive strokes - that for me was always a difficulty, too.

What I would say is that I have always got a sense of genuine pleasure from anyone who I have met 'on the hoof' shopping in town. I respond to that and am pleased to spend a couple of minutes chatting about what I had done. Obviously, the change is major. I am slowly beginning to understand why I get this reaction.

Interestingly, when I met my friend the other day at the doctors surgery, and she exclaimed when she saw me, the receptionist also agreed and said I looked great. Now I don't know this person and was a bit surprised that (a) she made the comment and (b) that 'it' had been noticed and therefore possibly other members of staff had discussed it. I felt uncomfortable at that time and didn't like the thought that people had been talking about me. It is entirely possible that I still feel that I exist in a vacuum and that this dramatic physical change won't change the way people respond to me, but it seems that self-delusion is still alive and kicking.

Although I feel like the same person I always was and don't actually 'see' the radical change, obviously others do 'see' me and I suppose the change (losing 100+lbs) is a really major change, and people can't help commenting.

Nowadays I dress to accentuate the new 'improved' shape and celebrate it. Before I dressed to hide and cover and pretend I wasn't there (as if). Like at the retirement do last Friday, I was spoiled for choice - what wonderful frock shall I wear? A real dilemma. In the past it would have been a furious raking around for something, anything that would have to do. I would spend the evening feeling frumpy, lumpy and uncomfortable amongst people in nice clothes. It wouldn't help that I would be wearing 'hold everything in' underwear which just squashed me in and played havoc with my digestion.

Is it any wonder that people comment on the new me, different physically and with a more positive attitude.

Tell me tigerGirl, this woman who asked so many questions, was she asking because she was overweight and genuinely interested? Did you get a sense that you had been the topic of conversation among colleagues and that was why you felt uncomfortable? Do you appreciate just now radically different you look like now, and that this difference will have impact in all areas of your life. Your colleagues, family, friends, neighbours, all people you know are seeing you changing and blossoming - you however will mostly feel like the same person and won't see the difference like they will.

I suppose that you will have to learn to embrace these reactions. In time, things will settle down and your new appearance will become normal to everyone.
 
I have been off work today, with some sort of bug thing. My son was off too, with the same thing. I got a call from the High School later in the morning and had to get dressed and pick my daughter up too!

Happily, I do feel so much better just now and so can read and post again. I have struggled to even drink water today, and still don't feel like eating, however I have persevered and managed to drink several glasses of water later this afternoon.

Hopefully, son will be well enough to go back to school tomorrow, he has polished off a pizza, two tins of raviolli, and a sandwich for tea! Daughter I am not so sure about. She did not even get up to watch Eastenders tonight - that is serious.

I've just spoke to hubby, up in Aberdeen. He has been ill too! It is immensely rare for Adrian to be ill, and I wish he was here suffering with the rest of us. After all, we always do things as a family!

I have been checking out a thread about JUDDDing. It is to do with eating more on some days and less on other days, and seems to be very flexible. There is a link on one of the threads to the website. I've had a look, and can see the attraction. One one day you might have 2000 cals and on another 500. It means you can plan social events and eat what you want (within reason) without guilt, and reduce your cals by 75 or 80% the next day. It is called the JohnsonUpDayDownDay programme. Anyone else on this thread heard of it?
 
Not heard of JUDD but it sounds great... could really fit in with the ups and downs of life in terms of calories!
Have you a link to details please?
Am reading with further interest now that I am about to go into management :D
 
Not sure how to insert a link but, if you look at the main forum, under 'other diets' and click on 'johnsonupdaydownday', and look at the second thread on the list, it will be listed there on the first thread.

Hope that helps.
 
Hello Everyone

Just allowing myself 5 mins on minimins so came here, OBVIOUSLY!

TigerGirl - your post is VERY pertinent and I have just come back from a Development session and we discussed this very issue! I am going to write about it - probably tomorrow night - but I have got some very interesting answers, which I would like to share. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Can't wait to have time to catch up properly; come and have a look at the blog for a photo of our kitchen. Hilarious!

Take care and AJ hope you feel better soon.

Mrs L xxxxxxx
 
Thanks AJ and GG for your thoughts. Much appreciated.
In answer to your question, this girl inparticular has been trying to make friends with me I guess for quite some time. She's a little on the heavy side, but I'm sure she thought that she was really getting on the right side of me by piling on the compliments! And she did say that she was completely inspired now to go back to the gym. So I really am probably taking my frustrations out on her, and I certainly dont want to be mean!
I'm pretty certain this whole thing is just about how I'm struggling a bit right now, and when people say 'ooh you look fabulous', I want to shout 'yes, maybe, but I don't feel it!!!!' I'm just having one of those weeks! :D
 
Just been looking at the JUDDD website - interesting idea. I can see it might be useful around Christmas time.
 
Painted sons room today. Took him along to Ikea in Edinburgh to buy a table to fit over his bed (at the end) to sit his tv, video/dvd recorder and x-box on. Got lost on the way. Let me tell you, it is not advisable to lose your way during the Edinburgh rush hour. We eventually got there and I managed to get a suitable table too. I also managed not to buy the entire store. Phew.

I did buy a couple of packets of Swedish cakes (buy one get one free) which had dark chocolate on. I should not really have bought them because I kept thinking of them all the way home!

Anyway, got home quite late (nearly 7.30) and started to make dinner. Had fajitas (sp.). Afterwards tried one of the cakes. It was weird but nice. Had another one. Worried that my kids would not like the taste so had another. The final one looked lonely...

My son saw the other packet and asked to try one. Luckily he liked them, so I said for him to take them upstairs with him!

Will I ever learn.

Feeling stuffed now, so have just done a pile of ironing as a punishment.

Tomorrow is another day so I will file this under 'necessary experience I must learn from', and move on.

Son's room looks great now. It is so tidy I probably won't get him out of it for days. Moving all the furniture out of it before painting helped me discover all the odd sock partners too. I can't wait to reunite them!
 
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